I tried...

In the dark of night, clouds eclipsed the sky, murking the never-ending shine from the stars above. Standing over the city — the entire world — did nothing to get her closer to them. She'd never be able to reach; not unless she flew. Every day the sun gave its life to the moon, for the stars, so they could have a taste of freedom. So why couldn't she...?

I swear I did...

What would it take for her to see them, those beautiful speckles she loved like a lost lover? It took so much fucking darkness it was funny. Even now, with the bustling cars, the streetlamps, it felt like a mockery to the hidden jewels above them. It reminded her of life, in a way, an ironic comparison.

But I was never good enough...

Stars were born from collapsing. As she sat upon the rooftop ledge, no railings in sight, the situation felt perfect. Felt free. She couldn't find her spark until she collapsed. Until she crumbled. She needed to fall before she could fly.

I was never strong...

This was not her destruction.

I was helpless...

She was simply being born anew.

I'm sorry...

It was easier to think than to do, standing alone, feeling her legs dangle over the edge. It would unsettle anyone. The breaths that had come so easy to her began to hitch in her throat, shivers slithering up her spine.

I'm so fucking sorry.

Without her knowing her hand reached up, covering the left side of her face; hiding the permanent reminder of that day ten years ago when everything fell apart. When she lost everything, everyone she cared about, all except one.

It's just too much now...

The flesh was jagged against her palm, yet the feel of damp cheeks struck her even more. Tears of water and scarlet left a gruesome trail, running down her hand to pool on the concrete below.

I'll see you all soon,

Harsh winds whipped her long black locks in front of her face. It was as if even the world wanted to shield her from what was about to happen next. It was far too late for that though; a backhanded gift that left her guts churning.

I p r o m i s e that.

All she ever wanted to do was be strong for her family. To be able to protect them, so why couldn't she? Why didn't she? These waves of torment had drowned her for far long enough, she just begged for it all to be over. Her chest ached, a constant reminder she could never seem to shake without him there.

Why can't things ever go back to how they were before?

Far below someone was shouting, yelling so desperately their voice broke. She wondered how long they'd been trying to reach her, the distance too great for them to be heard. Seconds later her phone was ringing, echoing in her ears, the familiar ringtone allowing a comfort to settle within her stomach.

Maybe then I wouldn't have loved you.
Or been able to truly move on with him.

It played through till the end, but it was ringing mere moments after and this time she raised the device to her ear. "KI! KI, COME DOWN FROM THERE!" The person's voice was hoarse from screaming, easily hearing their tears fall onto the phone. It seemed as if they were trying to hold back a breakdown, words so cracked it felt like her heart.

I could have done better to help...

Smiling a broken smile they couldn't see, Kiera exhaled a breath, regaining her strength from the person on the other line. "It's ok, you don't need to worry about me anymore."

This is all my fault...

These long ten years had felt as if she was slowly crumbling, heart withering with every passing day, but he'd been stubborn. Taping it back together, stapling it, slowly mending the damage any way he could. It hadn't mattered.

Can't you see?

She'd been fragile. One incident caused such destruction it could never be undone. The dusted remains of her heart blew far into the skies, waiting for its body to follow. She needed to fall before she could fly, though. Fly into the winds so they could carry her away from this cruel world.

Can't you tell?

Brief static on the other side before the voice cut back in, desperation clinging to their every word. Every sob from their chest left her with a pang of ever growing guilt. "What about me, Meir!? I'm with you, now and forever! Do you really think they'd want this for you?! That I'm ok with you leaving?!"

Or is it just...

The use of that nickname had her lip wobbling dangerously, overflowing tears of salt and copper slipping into her mouth. "I'll be ok, Chifuyu. I'm going to be ok." Throwing her arms out beside her, a lopsided smile befell her features. The world appeared fogged through her russet-tinted eye.

.. too dark?

"For the very last time." The last words whispered down the phone line had a haunting end before she tipped herself over the edge, headfirst into the street below. It felt nice, wind rushing through her hair to show off the golden stripes she'd dyed beneath. People's screams were like a choir in her mind as they saw her body plummet. She only laughed, frozen in a permanent smile as her head cracked wide against the pavement below.

Ending it like I know you would have, Keisuke... I'll see you soon...brother..

.

.

.

❦

"ℍ𝕒𝕧𝕖 𝕪𝕠𝕦 𝕔𝕠𝕦𝕟𝕥𝕖𝕕 𝕥𝕙𝕖 𝕔𝕣𝕠𝕨𝕤?
𝕎𝕙𝕪 𝕔𝕒𝕟 𝕀 𝕠𝕟𝕝𝕪 𝕖𝕧𝕖𝕣... 𝕤𝕖𝕖 𝕠𝕟𝕖?"

A/N: and so it begins.