https://youtu.be/PDeTO26fRVQ

idfc - Blackbear

Jimin wished he had looked at the name of the interview candidate when Mingyu sent him the resume. Or he had watched the recording that Hyun-Sik sent him. He wished he had read the e-mails and seen Jungkook's name in the conversation somewhere because then he would have prepared for this moment. He'd know what to say to the man who had left an impact on the past six years of his life so colossal that he died a little every day. But then again, nothing would've prepared him for this moment.

He was thankful for the majestic force that pulled him out of his stupor because he knew even if he tried to stay upright, he'd fall to the ground. His eyes brimmed to hilt, one blink and he was in danger of spilling tears. Throat constricting and voice melting inside, he cleared his throat with great effort. "Jungkook..." A deep and quivering inhale. "Oh, Jungkook."

He looked at the man standing before him with an overstretched arm.

Jungkook wanted to feign indifference, but he hated that he wasn't looking the part at all. His eyes were hazy and the redness on his nose was more prominent than in his ears. He could feel the heat on his face. He had read during his medical period that the heart rate could go up to 300 bpm, but he was experiencing it now.

He was thankful that Jimin wasn't accepting his hand because he wouldn't be able to hide the reverberations of his heartbeats throughout his shaky body. The Jimin he fell in love with was a heartbreaker, but the man in front of him was ten times more fatal.

"Boss," Mingyu emerged.

Jimin turned around quickly, hastily picking up the tissue papers from his desk, he wiped his face before slowly walking towards his chair across the table.

Jungkook straightened and cleared his throat, silently breathing and praying to God to help him get through this. "Are you okay?" Jungkook heard the hollow sound as the third person in the room lurked towards Jimin.

Yes, thought Jungkook. Are you okay? Why do I see tears in your eyes? Did you think about me once before today? A part of Jungkook wanted to drop everything and complain, another part of him wanted to beg Jimin again to love him, but there was an additional part that took birth a few moments ago. It was the most dangerous one. It made Jungkook want to hate Jimin with the burning intensity of a million enemies and he was still sitting in front of Jimin because of that.

Clearing his throat, gaze buried down, Jimin managed to nod at his colleague. "I am good."

"Perfect!" Mingyu chimed, clapping his hands once together, completely oblivious to the tornado he stepped into. "Should we start then?"

Jungkook smiled, nodding his head a bit and wishing that the man wouldn't read too much into their choking silence. Jimin was his to hate. He still didn't want anyone else to know about their truth so they hated Jimin, too.

Jimin's gaze held something that Jungkook couldn't pinpoint. Was it recollection? Was it regret? Was it anger? What did Jimin have to be angry about? Jungkook waited, not entirely focusing on the piercing gaze on him. Mingyu disrupted the quietness which was building again. "We are really glad to have you onboard, Jungkook. This meeting is more to discuss the administrative and financial part of things. But before that, do you have any questions you want to ask?"

"Yeah," Jungkook's voice came out a bit croaked and he subtly cleared his throat, shifting in his chair to loop his legs over another to fake confidence. "I was informed that the job would require me to work from anywhere. I wanted to confirm that."

"Yes," Jungkook's face shifted to Jimin's frame when he answered. "You may choose to work from your own studio. But we would require you to be in the gallery sometimes during the shows and exhibits. We can also have a dedicated working space entirely up to your convenience for the days when you will be required to come to the gallery or on-site for live paintings."

"I didn't know I'd participate in live events," Jungkook focused really hard to listen and ask the questions. "How frequent would they be?"

"Twice a year."

"That is doable," Jungkook looked at Mingyu and smiled coolly.

"I am sure you discussed your net salary?" Jimin wobbled in the conversation again.

"Yes," Jungkook tried to be amiable but failed as he answered scornfully, jaw tight as he breathed hard.

"Do you agree on the terms?" Jimin's brows raised. It wasn't much that they were paying. Being an artist was always underappreciative. Jimin knew for a fact that Jungkook belonged to an affluent family, so it mustn't matter to him how much money he made. He wasn't even sure why he was asking that question. But he needed to ask something, hear Jungkook speak some more so he could look at him and ensure that he was fine.

"Yes."

"You seem to have the means to have your own set-up. You don't need us. May I ask why you want to take this position, Jungkook?"

"Mr. Park," Jungkook turned to look at Jimin, craning his head away from Mingyu. "How do you know I have any means?"

"I am sorry if I offended you," Jimin said cautiously. At this point, he felt that Jungkook would deny even recognizing him. He wanted this god-forsaken interview to be over so he could talk to Jungkook about things that mattered. "I understand that you belong to the Jeon family which is a leader in hospitality."

"I do. I also understand your knowledge of who my father is to be accurate, but I have to take care of myself on my own entirely."

Jimin nodded. Surely, the one sitting in front of him wasn't the boy he remembered. "You may start from Monday."

"Thank you," Jungkook exhaled, his hands rubbing over his pants as he tried to control the shaking.

Mingyu's phone vibrated, and he walked out of the cabin, mouthing "welcome aboard" to Jungkook. "I'll get going now."

The moment Mingyu was gone, Jungkook stood up quickly.

"Jungkook," Jimin hastily stood after him.

The younger man looked back with a nonchalance on his face. "Yeah?"

"Can- Can we please talk? Outside?"

Jungkook's gaze dipped down at the floor to orchestrate his response as he navigated  through his emotional trainwreck. "Actually," his face schooled into the best dummy expression. "I know you are officially my boss, but I want to set a few boundaries right now. I am not interested in talking if anything isn't work-related."

Jimin felt like someone pushed his chest, hard. His palms turned so clammy that he could feel his wedding ring slide against his skin. Words deserted him. "Kook-"

"Don't call me that." He had lost that privilege a long time ago.

"Listen, Jungkook," Jimin tried again. "I am sorry-"

"No. No, no." Jungkook shook his head vigorously. "You don't get to rid yourself of your guilt or whatever it is by giving me a trumped-up explanation six years too late."

Jimin's face paled, red creeping up his neck.

Jungkook hated how Jimin's eyes glazed with hurt, but he wasn't going to go there. He looked away quickly and brought his arm near his eyes to peer at his wristwatch. "Okay then."

Jimin watched as Jungkook rushed out of the cabin haughtily.

Was it the intervention from God? When he actively tried to look for Jungkook, he was nowhere to be found. And when Jimin thought he wouldn't survive, the Almighty dropped Jungkook on his doorstep. He discerned that even by doing so, God didn't exactly make it easy for him at all.

He slumped down on his chair, his palms on his face. The coffee he drank earlier swirled inside him, wanting to rush up and come out through his mouth. This couldn't be another panic attack, he thought. But it was.

Jimin's eyes turned wet. His face scrunched, lips wobbling as he sat on the ground. Curling into himself, he tried to keep his voice low, not wanting to be humiliated in his office. He wheezed and coughed all while shutting his mouth. He shook his head, waiting for the constriction in his chest to double up and cause him more pain.

Amidst his condition, he thought of Taehyung, and thinking about his friend and what would he do started calming him. Jimin continued to breathe, diverting himself from the momentarily shocked look in Jungkook's eyes, the redness decorating his face.

Five minutes later, he sat leaning against the table's foot, breathing heavily in sharp pants, his hand shivering above his bent knee, tie crooked, and black hair tousled over his forehead. Taehyung, he thought again. He had to tell him that he found Jungkook. Or rather, Jungkook appeared in front of him.

He grabbed his phone and was about to dial when he thought of Jungkook. Would Jungkook want him to tell Taehyung? Would Jungkook even want to meet Taehyung or talk to him at all?

Forty minutes down, Jimin didn't know how he made the decision but his hands were dialing Taehyung's number on their own. His heart pounded against his diaphragm. "Don't pick up," he mumbled, closing his eyes. "Please don't pick up."

Right before the ringing sound could end in Jimin's ears, it was replaced by a familiar, deep voice. "Jimin? Are you okay?"

"Yeah," the man wiped his mouth with his fingers, cleaning the sweat coating the lining of his upper lip. "I want to meet you right now."

"Wait," Taehyung uttered and Jimin heard shuffling before he heard honks and then silence again. "Yeah, Jimin... Where are you?!"

"Why are you yelling?" Jimin asked, stalling his words.

"I am outside! Are you okay?!"

"I am good. I am good," Jimin huffed quickly. "I want to talk to you right now. Meet me at my hospital."

"What's it about?" Taehyung asked.

Jimin lips parted, but saying Jungkook's name turned impossible.

"JIMIN!" Taehyung screamed, his voice a bit spooked. "Are you fucking alright? Do I need to send a doctor?"

"I said I am okay," Jimin replied in irritation.

"You don't sound so good!"

"Just come as soon as possible. I can't talk on the phone."

Disconnecting the call, Jimin ran out and towards the elevator.

**

He drove cautiously. Ever since he started having panic attacks, he felt like his health was deteriorating inwardly. Partly the reason why he asked Taehyung to be Iseul's godfather the last time they were together.

He was soon parking the car outside his hospital.

Taehyung was already waiting inside Jimin's small office when the latter reached there. The former looked at Jimin, ensuring for himself that he was fine and wasn't just lying on the phone. "Next time, give me a little hint. I thought you were dying."

Jimin blinked and looked away, hesitatingly taking steps towards his friend who retorted to joking after remaining outlandish with him for years. The more he thought he remained silent, the more difficult it would become to say it. "He's back."

"Who?"

"Jungkook. I saw him. He's back."

Taehyung was holding onto Jimin's palms the next moment. "What are you saying?" He asked, a little relief and some joy making its way to him, replacing anxiety. He forgot all reason and rationality, only focusing on one thing. "Where-" He gulped, his throat suddenly shrinking, disabling enough air to his lungs. "Where did you see him?"

Jimin let out an exhale and met his gaze with Taehyung's. "He came to my office."

Taehyung glared at nothing, focused and waiting for Jimin to speak more. Jimin understood his friend's condition, so he tried to explain as best as he could. "We were looking for an artist for the gallery and he applied for the position. He was considered for the position by my managers... But I was so busy with my hospital that I didn't know before today whom I was going to interview and then he was there... In my office."

Taehyung's lips quivered into a smile. "Did he- What did he look like? How is he doing?"

Jimin could tell Taehyung was overwhelmed, just like him. He made him sit on the chair and sat in front of him all the while Taehyung didn't leave his sleeves. "Are you okay?" Jimin stressed.

"I-" Taehyung chuckled. "I don't know... Thank- Thank you, Jimin. Thank you for not hiding from me."

Jimin let go of Taehyung's hand. Worry crossed his features, his brows pinched. He knew his friend shouldn't go unprepared. What he saw, he knew he had to tell Taehyung before he went looking for Jungkook himself. "He didn't want to talk to me... I don't think it will be a good idea for you to-."

"Oh, please!" Taehyung's demeanor immediately shifted, becoming the distant former friend in a jiffy. "You shouldn't advise me on the matters related to-"

"Look," Jimin's cautioned nervously. "All I am saying is that we don't know what must've happened to him. Why is he looking for a job in an art gallery?"

That shut Taehyung up for a moment.

"I tried to talk to him... I don't think he's ready to talk about anything yet. But if he's looking to work here, he is here for the long haul. I think you should give him time."

"Did he accept your job?" Taehyung asked, his tone accusatory as though Jimin betrayed him yet again by offering the job to Jungkook.

"Yes," Jimin answered, but then realization dawned on him, too. Why did Jungkook accept his job? No. He immediately raised his hands in surrender, wanting to clarify.

"He still wants you," Taehyung accused in a soft, barren, tone.

"No," Jimin shook his head furiously, eyes closing in hurt. "If you saw how hatefully he looked at me, you'd know, too. No, Tae... He doesn't want me. He hates me... He... He maybe blames me for something."

Taehyung lashes fluttered as he looked away.

≿━━━━༺❀༻━━━━≾

6 Jan, 2025