Author : Bhumika987

Reviewer : belkisaris

• COVER : 8/10

Cover is really good. The only issue I have is the title. I would suggest to put it on the bottom or at the top and a tad smaller. It took a lot, and it was distracted from the amazing cover that you have.

• TITLE : 10/10

The title is very attractive and unique. It is also eye-catching. Impressive job with that.

• BLURB : 8/10

I like the blurb, but you might lose some potential readers. The blurbs tell the whole plot you want a sense of mystery and make something to spike the future readers' curiosity.

• CREATIVITY : 10/10

I love your story. There are a lot of mafia stories on Wattpad and usually I think they are overdone, but yours bring something unique. You have put your own spin on it and made it unique. That's something that's difficult to do. Impressive job!

• PLOT : 15/15

What I said about creativity you have brought an unique plot. Usually the guy is ruthless leader of the mafia either kidnap the girl, or something like that but our main character Rachel is not your usual damsel in distress girl, she is a badass as well and is not easily seduced with the good looking Vincent.

• CHARACTERS : 7/10

Although you have amazing and unique characters. They needed to develop everything on the chapters using a computer type of description. Although I have found that refreshing and unique you need to describe the characters a bit more instead of telling us. From what I read, your story is not a single person's P.O.V is
like someone else telling the story. Instead of saying Rachel's eyes are blue do something like. Her eyes were the color of a newly bloomed bluebell from the valley, enchanting, delicate yet fierce. Something like that where you are not telling the readers her eyes are blue but showing them.

• GRAMMAR : 9/15

There were a lot of issues with grammar and description. I would suggest if English is not your first language to download Grammatically and ProWrittingAid they have free options and although they don't make the reading perfect, there's always a need for an editor for perfect chapters, they help a lot. Another thing I use for description help is https://www.descriptionari.com/ I put blue eyes and came up with the example I gave on characters of how to show your readers instead of telling. I saw that you're in a book club, that's another great way to get help with grammar so keep it up. Another thing I found issues with was the way the chapters were. Whenever Rachel or Vincent or another character spoke, it was stated like: Rachel- Hii! Vincent. I am not sure if you want to do it like a play sort of like Romeo and Juliet if that's the case I am impressed, but it needs a tad help I am not familiar with that type of writing so I would suggest asking someone who those for help if that wasn't the case I would suggest to change that type of writing and do it
like: "Hi! Vincent." Rachel says. Vincent stares at Rachel with a questioning frown. "You seem to know me."

• COMMUNICATION : 5/5

I saw you answering every single comment and question and even acknowledged the ones from the book club. Never lose that.

• OVERALL IMPRESSION : 15/15

I love the book and will continue reading this amazing story to see where you are taking the story. I am pretty sure that if you fix the few errors in the story, you will have a popular story in your hands.

• TOTAL : 87/100