"I feel like a cocoon." Jordan admitted awkwardly. He really did look like a cocoon, all wrapped up in the huge blankets James brought him. But I guess I shouldn't judge, I was the one who wrapped them around him. I bit down on my lip to keep from smiling, so I wouldn't make him feel embarrassed, but it was hard when he looked so adorable in his bundle of sheets.

James laughed at him, despite my obvious attempt to conceal my laughter. "Well you look like a cocoon. You couldn't have just pulled the blankets over him Tom?"

I shook my head no. He needs to be as warm as possible, and simply laying blankets over him isn't gonna do the trick. Besides, I like cocoon Jordan.

Jordan rolled his soft brown eyes and scoffed. "He just wants to see me suffer as much as possible. He proved that point when he poured scalding water over my freezing body."

Oh come on, I only did it to save his limbs. Frost bite can freeze off parts of your body if you don't treat it properly.

But...I may have enjoyed his little bath a bit more than I should have.

"Keep...you safe." I attempted a convincing smile.

He rolled his eyes a second time. "Yeah yeah, that's your excuse for everything."

I shrugged causally, because I knew that'd make him even more irritated. My theory proved to be true when he groaned, obviously annoyed.

After that, there was a long silence. James was sitting cross-legged on the floor, fiddling mindlessly with an etch-a-sketch, but he was too far away from us for me to see what he was doodling. He looked pretty invested in it though, his tongue sticking out slightly and a look of determination in his bright blue eyes. Ugh. These mixed feelings are killing me. Again.

Talk to Jordan. Jordan wants attention and he wants my love.

"Jordan...n-need anything?" He looked pretty content sitting there in his blanket cocoon, biting at his cracked lips as he watched James doodle too.

"Well...I don't wanna sound needy or anything but...I kinda need another inhaler...and some food...and-...you know what just forget about it. I'll be fine." I watched him shift a little in his blankets, trying to loosen them up so he could move. Aw. He's afraid he's annoying me with his human needs.

"J-James? Help get...inhaler?" He's usually good at going on scavenger hunts. I remember back when it was just us, we'd make lists for each other to try and find the weirdest objects we could think of. One time James put me up to finding a protractor. It took me weeks to find one, but I finally did when I went with a hoard one day to an old school and we broke into a classroom full of living. On top of one of the desks was a protractor. James was so salty about it, sure that I would never be able to find one.

I miss scavenger hunts.

He didn't look up from his doodling went he spoke. "Yes, just give me one second. I believe I'm almost finished."

"What are you drawing?" Jordan asked timidly.
James let go of the small knobs and held up the large red rectangle, showing an amazingly detailed drawing of...me and Jordan. Jordan looked like he was sitting up on a tree, smiling down at the earth below him. You could see every little detail in his face and his body, from the small quiff of his hair to the stubble on his cheeks. I was standing below him with my arms outstretched, an almost human smile on my lips. He detailed me too, putting extra emphasis on my dimples and my eyes. It almost looked like a scene from a movie, or a poem I'd read before with James, a Shakespeare poem I think. Romeo and Juliet. It was one of my favorites, because it was so sad and tragic.

I was in love with the etch-a-sketch.

Jordan's eyes nearly fell out of his head. "Wh...how are you so good at everything?!" He asked exasperated.

James only smiled. "That, my friend, is a secret only I will ever know."

~

"He's never mentioned what his last name was? His life before this? If he's dead or alive? Nothing at all?" Jordan looked at me expectantly, but what was I supposed to tell him? James never talks about his last life or himself in general. He's always asking about me and worrying about me, teaching me things and challenging me. It was kinda weird now that I really thought about it. How can someone be so selfless? The only time he ever put something before me was when he left, and I know he knew it would tear me to pieces. But he never explained why he left, where he was going, or if he was coming back.

James is a damn mystery.

"Nothing." I said simply. Jordan huffed, irritated by the sudden mystery on our hands. Or maybe he just can't stand not knowing about something. Probably both.

"Have you ever tried snooping through his room?" He asked suddenly. I shook my head immediately at the thought. I would never go through James' personal stuff. He respects my privacy and I should do the same. But damn I'm curious to see what he's hiding.

"Oh come on, it'll be just a peak. He won't even notice. And he didn't take the car so it'll be awhile before he gets back. It's totally fine. Please?" He put on those wide puppy dog eyes, his brown orbs shimmering slightly in the lamp light. God he's perfect. How can I say no?

"F-Fine." I'm gonna regret this so much.

We snuck off to James room, which was only a room down from mine. I couldn't help but feel some guilt in me as I stared at his door. He didn't like it whenever I asked to go in his room. He acted uncomfortable. He would not approve of me doing this. The door wasn't locked so we went on inside. Both of us gasped when we went in.

The room was...horribly bare. The bedsheets were perfectly made, every frame on the wall perfect, the floor clean and white, not a single thing on the floor. What the hell? James is not an organized person. Or at least...I don't think he is. He's always messy in my room, never putting up my collections where they're supposed to go, leaving trash everywhere, never cleaning up after himself. Did he really live in here? It couldn't be possible.

"He's...pretty neat. I guess." Jordan coughed awkwardly.

"No...hiding something. Got to be." This is not him. This room isn't James. He's hiding something, he thought someone might come in here and he's hiding his secrets. But would he really be that careful?

"Okay then...should we look around?"

I nodded in response. I wasn't into this a few minutes ago, but now I definitely was.

We began looking under everything. Frames, the bed, the dresser, all over the bathroom, in his closet, in his drawers. Everything was empty or completely cleaned out.

Jordan sighed after we checked under the bed one last time. "Tom I hate to say it, but James is about as innocent as a puppy. There is literally nothing in here that shows him even remotely having a personality."

"No...got to be...something. Know it." I moved to sit on the bed, when one of the pillows fell off into the floor. I went to put it back on the bed, when I noticed something.

Something was poking out from inside the pillow.

We both stared at it for a moment, unsure of what to do. Jordan spoke first. "...is that?"

I pulled out what ever was sticking out from the pillow, and I was really surprised when it was just a picture frame.

The picture inside made me feel depressed. It was James, younger and happier looking, standing beside a huge tree with his arms outstretched towards the top of it. And at the top of that tree, was a girl. She had long straight black hair and dark brown eyes, a wide smile that matched her facial features perfectly. She was gazing almost dreamily at James, and he was doing the same to her. And what struck me the most heart breaking was on her outstretched hand that was reaching for James', there was a small golden band on her ring finger.

James had a wife.

"Oh my god...he...he had a wife? But I thought...he acted just like he was into you. I don't understand..." Jordan stared at the picture with his mouth agape.

The etch-a-sketch drawing. He drew us as him and his wife. Did he see that when he looked at us? His wife and him? The thought made me feel so sad. He must be in so much pain, seeing us together when he didn't have his wife anymore. How could I be so selfish? He was hurting and I couldn't even see it. He lost his wife. He lost the love of his life.

"What are you doing?"

Jordan and I froze. How did he get back this quickly? Did he run?

"What are you doing in my room?" His tone was more aggressive that time. He is going to throw a fit. He's going to yell at us, scream how could we go through his things without asking. He's gonna hate me.

I looked down at the picture one last time, and I saw a small black text at the bottom of the photo.

~ Kelsey and James ~

"Who is...K-Kelsey?" I blurted aloud. Okay so maybe right now as not the time to ask that. Why did my lips betray me?

He stomped over to the bed and ripped the photo our of my hands so hard, it actually scare me. He was furious. I could tell by the red face and the icy glare in his eyes. "It's none of your damn business who she is. Get out. Now."

No don't be mad, please. I just wanted to know more about you. "J-James-"

"NO! GET OUT YOU STUTTERING IDIOT!" He shouted in my face.

He's never shouted at me. He's never been angry with me. He's never hurt me.

But now he's done all three and I don't know what to do, other than run out of the room as quickly as possible. And when I left and Jordan did too, he slammed the door in our faces as hard as he could. He hates me.

The horrible thought made me feel sick. My best friend, the one I'd been with for centuries, hates me. I violated his privacy and he hates me. He hates me.

I silently walked back to my room and went inside, laying down on the bed and burying my face in the pillows. Im a horrible person. How could I go through his things? How could I be such an idiot?

I felt the bed shift slightly and a hand wrap around me. "If it means anything...I don't think you're a stuttering idiot. I think you're great. I love you very much."

I didn't want to talk. I was suddenly anxious about the way I spoke, acted, felt. I'm an idiot. A stuttering idiot.

Nothing but a stuttering idiot.

~

"Tom come out of this bathroom!"

I said nothing. I haven't said anything in the last three days. I'm tired of stuttering and being stupid. It's better to just stay quiet and keep to myself. It's better this way.

"Tom please! Please say something to let me know you're still alive, because I haven't seen you in a solid two days. You do know I have to pee like really badly, right?"

I still said nothing, but I did hit the side of the tub twice so he'd know I was alive.

"Okay now you're just being a smart ass. Please come out. I miss you."

Silence.

"Tom...please I'm begging you, please come out. You aren't a stuttering idiot, James was just mad. And it wasn't even your fault he's mad...it's mine."

Not a word. I refused to move or talk. Maybe if I sit here long enough, I'll rot and die. It is possible. I've seen it happen before. When the dead give up, they sit and they stare, until their skin crinkles away and they become skeletons.
Nothing would please me more right now than to be a skeleton.

"Tom. If you don't come out of there in the next ten seconds, I'll take the car and go to the mini mall by myself. Without camouflaging myself. I will do it, don't test me."

He wouldn't really do that, would he? No that's too stupid. He knows what happens when he goes off alone.

"I'm leaving then. Taking the keys and then I'm off. Right now. I'm going. You gonna stop me?"

Ugh. As much as I want to shrivel away into nothing and finally be free from this withered world, there's still Jordan. He appreciates me and he cares about me enough to where he might miss me. And I know he'll be absolutely helpless if I leave him alone.

I sat up from my spot in the tub and stretched my limbs. I felt my bones cracking quietly as I did so. It's weird how stiff your body becomes after you sit and do nothing for two days. I managed to pull myself out of the tub and shuffle over to the door. I didn't want to leave the bathroom. I didn't want to go back and face the world.

But it's for Jordan.

I unlocked the knob, and before I could even open the door, it flung open on its own. Arms flew around me and squeezed my ribs so hard I thought they were gonna break. Jordan's smell hit me like a slap to the face. I realized then that I hadn't eaten in weeks, and that Jordan was more than potentially in danger of being eaten.

"Oh thank god. I missed you. I was actually thinking about cutting the hinges off the door so I could get in. Thank you for opening the door..."

Did he always smell this good? Shit, it's overpowering. And he's so warm too, that's not helping at all.

"J-Jordan...not safe." I tried to move away a little from his grip, but he wouldn't let go. His face was buried into the crook of my neck and his hair was tickling my nose. If he doesn't get off me soon this is gonna be bad.

"What do you mean? You're right here...I'm safe. Stop worrying." He looked up at me then and I barely got a moment to register what he was about to do before he actually did it. He kissed me.

This isn't going to end well.

~

"Does it really taste that bad?"

I scrunched up my face in response. Peaches are absolutely disgusting. It's like trying to swallow wet garbage. Is all of regular food like this for me? If so, then I really am screwed.

"Here, try marshmallows. I think they taste good." Jordan shoved a bag of white fluffy things. I physically gagged just looking at them. He's said that about everything so far, that they taste good. Nothing has tasted anything near good, nothing.

He rolled his eyes at me. "Oh come on. We need to keep trying things. Are you still hungry after eating all of this stuff?"

I nodded guiltily. Yes I'm starving to death and I feel like my stomach is trying to digest itself. This crap is not filling me up. I need the food I always eat, no matter how much I try to deny it. I need to feed.

"Well...we can try some other things. You haven't tasted macaroni or pasta yet, have you?" He pulled a microwave dinner out of the kitchen freezer. I'm not sure if I trust those freezers. Sure the hotel has power most of the time, but that doesn't mean everything in the freezers are kept frozen.

"Not...good. Freezers...don't w-work sometimes."

He frowned at my observation. "Well Tom I don't want to hurt your feelings, but you are kinda dead already. It's not like food poisoning is gonna kill you."

I guess he's right, I'm not getting any deader. But I don't think the food would be any tastier when it's thawed out and outdated. I shrugged as an okay.

Multiple microwave dinners later, and I've already thrown up twice in the floor. Macaroni is flavorless and bland, pasta is the same, chicken is crunchy and gross, and roast beef is the most disgusting thing I have eaten so far. Real food and junk food both suck.

Jordan groaned as I made a disgusted face at green beans. "Tom I really don't know what to do. Everything I used to consider amazingly good is awful to you. The last thing here is a can of Nutella and a bottle of pickles, and I have a feeling you'll hate both. Oh, and a pizza dinner. But you've hated every microwaveable meal you've tried so..." He sighed and sat down the remaining stuff in front of me.

Nutella sort of looks different from everything I've tried. It looks kinda creamy. I screwed off the lid and dipped my finger inside of it and tasted it.

Oh my sweet Jesus. This is good.

It tastes so creamy and sweet. It's literally the only thing I've tasted so far that has a taste. I grabbed a spoon from one of the discarded tray dinners and scooped up another huge chunk of Nutella. Before I knew it, I'd already eaten half a jar and I wasn't stopping anytime soon. Meanwhile Jordan was staring at me like I'd suddenly grown a second head. What's wrong with Nutella? Doesn't he like it?

"Are you kidding me? You like Nutella out of all things you've tried? My zombie boyfriend likes Nutella. Oh my god." He shook his head and began laughing hysterically, but I didn't get what was funny.

"What?" I asked him.

"It's just- forget it. I'm glad you finally like something. I wonder if you like peanut butter or chocolate. You probably would. Nutella is basically peanut butter and chocolate mixed." He was staring at me with pure amazement as I ate through the rest of the jar. The way he was just ogling at me was making me feel anxious. Seriously, what's wrong with Nutella? Is it made of dead babies?

"Want...some?" I offered him the jar, even though there was barely anything in it.

He smiled and shook his head no. "You just eat all of it. We can get more later I'm sure. There was no shortage of Nutella before the world ended, believe me. Are you feeling a little less hungry now?"

Actually...I didn't feel hungry at all. Thank god for Nutella I guess.

~

"Still thinkin' about James?"

I nodded solemnly. How could I not think about him after what he said to me?

"Come cuddle with me in bed then! I'll take your mind off of him." Jordan wiggled his eyes brows at me from across the room and did a weird dance with his shoulders. Idiot. Freaking adorable idiot.

"No...thank you." Cuddling sounds nice, but I really don't want to right now. I kinda just wanna sulk and look through the sunset photos James gave me.

"Thomas. If you don't get in this bed in ten seconds, I'll throw you in it."

I rolled my eyes the best I could. He can't even open a fridge without struggling, and he's gonna lift me and throw me on the bed? Yeah right.

"Tom. Five seconds."

I still continued to ignore him, focusing on the bright yellow and orange pictures in my hands. He never said where he took these or where he went off to. He probably never will now that he hates me.

All of the sudden, I felt arms hook themselves under mine and weakly attempt to pull me up from the carpet. Jordan is attempting to lift me. This is just wonderful.

He let out frustrated growls every time he dropped me on my butt or lost grip on my shoulders. "Are you made of lead?! How much do you weigh?!" He was dragging me now, but I still wasn't really going anywhere. Do I get up and end his fruitless efforts to get me on the bed? Or do I continue to watch his struggle?
Eh, the second ones more entertaining.

"Tommmm get up! I am not gonna let you sit here and rot! You're gonna come cuddle with me and we are going to talk about our feelings!"

Feelings? Gross.

"Nah." I would've shrugged to irritate him even more, but he was yanking my arms back so I couldn't really do it.

"Nah? I'll nah you, you sulky salt shaker. Get on the bed!" He gave me one last strong lift, and I was on the bed. He huffed angrily and flopped down beside me, groaning in exhaustion. "God you're heavy."

"You're...not strong."

"Shut up. I don't like exercise and I barely eat anything anything anymore. No wonder I'm so weak." He sighed and curled up next to me, nuzzling his head against my shoulder. I felt bad for him. That stupid camp basically ruined his life. He must have been such a happy person before the world ended. I wonder what I was like before the world ended. Was I happy? Did I have a wife like James?

"Tom..." Jordan poked me.

"Hm?"

"Tell me what you're thinking. I don't like it when you're quiet."

"Why don't...you?"

"Because when you're quiet you look miserable. I don't want you to be miserable."

I am miserable, I wanted to say. My best friend hates me because I violated his privacy.

He turned over to face me, slipping his hand in mine. "Why don't we go to the mini mall or something? We can go to the record store and steal some more music."

I shook my head. I don't wanna go anywhere. I just want to be miserable.

He sighed at my refusal. "Then what do you wanna do?"

"Nothing," I replied emotionlessly.

"You wouldn't wanna make out or anything? Or have sex in the back of the convertible? Nothing like that?"

What. He...what? He wants to have sex in the back of the convertible? Where did this even come from? I started laughing at him, and once I started I couldn't stop. I was clutching my stomach I was laughing so hard. Why would someone so innocent and awkward want sex in the back of a car?

"Don't laugh at me!" He smacked my arm and blushed furiously.

"That...you're f-fantasy?" I laughed and pinched one of his cheeks and he swatted my arm away angrily.

"I shouldn't have even told you. You're so mean." He pouted and turned on his other side, attempting to ignore me.

"Just t-teasing. Really...want to?" Because hey, that actually doesn't sound like a bad idea. Aside from the whole being crammed in a tiny car thing.

"Not anymore! You totally ruined my dreams Tom..."

"S-Sorry. Cuddle?" I wrapped an arm around his waist and kissed his cheek. I genuinely did feel bad about laughing at him.

"No, your cuddle privileges have been revoked. Cuddle with your own hand tonight." He blew a raspberry just for good measure. Idiot.

"Okay." I stood up from the bed and returned back to my corner. I heard him growl stressfully and a pillow was thrown at my head, but I easily dodged it. He's got pretty bad aim too.

"I spent literally a million years trying to lift you onto the bed and you go back? Are you heartless?"

"No. Still...have heart. Just d-doesn't....work." I grinned when he rolled his eyes at me.

"Yeah that explains why you suck at being a boyfriend."

"Ouch," I responded with fake hurt. "Thought...you loved...me."

"I do love you. I'm just saying you suck at being a boyfriend."

"What...does good b-boy...friends do?" Ugh, that didn't turn out how I wanted it to. I feel like my English is slowly getting worse.

"Well...I don't know. They do nice things for their partners. They...they give you flowers and send you love letters and...you know what, just forget it. It's the apocalypse, you can't buy flowers or send letters anymore...the most romantic thing I've seen since the world ended was a guy drawing a crappy portrait of his girlfriend, and Captain gave them both two days of community service for it..." He sighed solemnly and pulled the covers over his head. Wow, that's pretty depressing. No wonder nobody loved anybody in that camp. It's like they outlawed love or something.

Someday I'd like to bite a chunk out of this Captain guys face.

"I'll...get you...f-flowers. And write...letters." I can't hold a pencil without breaking it, so the letters will be harder to do. But the flowers should be no problem. I know a store a short way from here that has tons of fake ones. Unless he wants real flowers. That would be a problem.

"You don't have to...it'd be really nice of you though..."

I know he wants me to, the little shy ass. "I will."

He smiled and looked down at his shoes. "...thank you Tom."

"Y-You w-welcome." Stupid stutter. I'm such a stupid stuttering idiot. I can't even say you're welcome without butchering the words. James was right about me.

"You know...you're not a stuttering idiot. Don't let what he said bother you. You're smart Tom."

I smiled. "You...think so?"

He nodded confidently. "I know so. You're the smartest person I know."

I think all I needed was that huge confidence boost, because soon after, this happened.

"Wanna go have sex in the convertible?" I said perfectly. I watched his smile grow ten sizes and he nodded excitedly. I rushed to the bed and yanked him up, pulling him towards the door while he giggled like a maniac.

Screw James. I have Jordan.
~~~

I hate this chapter because I wrote it months ago but I didn't want to rewrite it so here ya go have some TRASH

I have a plot for this book a promise xD just give me a bit to rewrite some stuff and plan out how I'm gonna make it all fit together :3 I watched Warm Bodies again last night and got some more inspiration to post a chappie so yaaaaay

Anyway gotta blast bc I'm bad at authors notes bye I love u

- Lee