You've Got Siblings and Your Mama Is A Thug?

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"Sup, bitch," Feenyx greets me upon entering the car and buckles her seatbelt.

"Where were you?" I ask.

"Waiting for you in the staffroom, asshole," she snorts. "and you sure took your time doing whatever you and Tesla were doing."

"It took longer than expected," I tell her, switching on the engine and putting the car into reverse.

"Holy Hera! Please tell me y'all weren't fucking in the classroom."

"What?! No! God, no – I mean, do I think having sex in the office or classroom is kinda hot, yeah sure – but no. Hell no!"

"Ew! Ya nasty little son of a Cerberus! Y'all better have cleaned up after yourselves for committing such unholy war crimes in there. Matter of fact, I should incinerate the whole classroom 'cause no amount of bleach and Clorox will be able to clean the cum stains."

"We didn't fuck excessively in this classroom like a bunch of maniacs on heat! Gosh!"

"Fuck outta here with that bullshit. I bet y'all got into a heated argument and fucked right after."

"WE DID NOT... this time."

Feenyx throws her hands up with a triumphant expression on her face. "I rest my mother fucking my case."

"Oh, fuck off, Nyxxie."

"Ey, I ain't the one out here being a nymphomaniac with a hair kink – "

"You're really not going to live that down," I deadpan, briefly looking at her.

"Never," she answers in a faux sweet voice.

I roll my eyes. "But seriously, where were you? You said you were going to meet up with me at the car when I called."

"I walked in on the school Head Boy harassing Dane Bauer in the hallway. You remember Dane Bauer? The quiet awkward nerdy kid who sits in the right corner? Anyway, the Head Boy was trying to play it off as if he and the kid were just being boys having their fun, but of course, I saw through his bullshit and I gave him a warning. After that, I took the stairs all the way to the parking lot.

"You could have taken the elevator."

"Hell naw!" she yells. "Those things get stuffy and crowded. I love my space and breathing freely, thank you very much."

"You did not have to yell," I say, looking at her unamused.

"Point is, I hate elevators. Besides, it's good exercise. Anyways, what were you and Tatiana up to?"

My mood suddenly dulls a bit as I clench my jaw. "Nothing much. I was just helping her with some work stuff."

"And?" she drawls out, not satisfied with my answer.

I sigh. "I brought up what happened in the staffroom."

"What she say?"

"Nothing useful. She was evasive and defensive about it."

"Aha! So the trick knows that she's playing you but won't admit it."

"Can we not talk about it, please? I'm already angry and frustrated as it is just by thinking about it." I say, stopping the car at a red light."

"Hey, you put yourself in this mess, homie. You reap what you sow, bitch," She replies, earning a hard look from me. "Don't give me that look! You know I'm right!"

I roll my eyes, moving the car after the light turns green. "Whatever, Nyxxie."

"Anyway, we need to stop by the grocery store."

"Why?"

"Because we're almost out of food and I need ingredients to cook tonight."

"Why can't we have takeout?"

"We had takeout last night. I may have a high-paying job on the side that affords me to order takeout every night, I prefer having actual food that's actually healthy and not ramen noodles."

"Ramen noodles are the best."

"They're barely a full meal, my guy! We're having a proper meal: end of discussion and you're helping."

"Why do I gotta?"

"Equality, bitch. I do almost everything around the house. And as Jennifer Lopez says 'I ain't gon be cooking all day, I ain't your mama. I ain't gon do your laundry, I ain't your mama – "

"Don't ever do that ever again."

"Do what?"

"Quoting songs. It's cringe."

"Fuck you, you millennial. Your whole generation is the living embodiment of cringe."

"Says the lady who's older than the boomers."

".... that was uncalled for...."

"You reap what you sow, bitch."

Feenyx rolls her eyes, and we continue driving in silence.

"I ain't your mama, boy, I ain't your mama – "

"Woman, I will throw you out of my car if you keep doing that."

♡

"Ah! My eyes!" I cry, rubbing my eyes with my wrist.

"Dude, you're chopping onions, not walking into people filming a porno skit. Relax." She remarks dryly as she's stirring her pot.

"But it's hurting my eyes."

"And your wailing is hurting my ears."

"You're always so mean to me."

"That's how I show my love, pretty boy."

My phone rings harshly several times. I quickly rush over and open the screen, where I see a text notification from my mother.

Mom

Hey Urie

Don't forget to collect your suit.

I stare at the message confused for a moment until it finally dawns on me. "Shit! I was supposed to collect my suit last week."

"Suit? What do you need a suit for?" Feenyx asks, looking up from the pot.

"My sister's getting married in three weeks. I was meant to collect the suit she bought for me before I fly home to Arcadia," I tell her. "Can't believe I forgot."

Her eyes widen, registering surprise. "You have a sibling?"

"Two siblings. How do you not know this? You read my file." I furrow my eyebrows.

"I just browsed through that mother fucker for the important stuff. I ain't got no time to be reading all that info like it's a novel."

"Wow, you are terrible at your job."

"Shut up, you middle child. I still get paid anyway."

I roll my eyes.

"Tell me more about your siblings."

"There's not much to tell," I say, walking over to the stove with a bowl of cut onions and peppers. "My older sister, Shay, is only about five years older than I am and is getting married soon. Her fiancé, Jay, is a cool guy."

"Well, damn. Even their names rhyme." She comments, making me laugh.

"My younger brother, Eloi is in his final year of college. He's a brat but I still love him regardless."

"What about your parents?"

"My parents," I let out a ragged laugh. "My parents are the definition of opposites attract."

Feenyx looks at me, waiting for me to explain further.

"My dad is pretty calm, peaceful and laid back. My mom, however, is the type of woman who chooses violence and has no problem fighting anyone if you mess with her and her family." I tell her. "She's basically 'fuck around and find out' and 'these hands are rated E for everyone' reincarnate. And when she whips out her cast iron pan, just know you're either dead or waking in a hospital bed from a coma."

"You for real?" she exclaims.

"For real, for real," I confirm. "Rumour has it that her cast iron pan was passed down in her family for generations. She swung that bitch at this one lady who couldn't get a hint after my dad kindly rejected her and one of the jocks at my school after she saw me come home with a black eye back when I was a senior in high school."

"Damn, Mama Kobayashi is out here acting like a thug from the ghetto. I like her already." She grins. "I should meet her. I have a feeling she and I will get along just well 'cause I'm all about that thug life."

"I dunno..." I answer hesitantly. "My mom kinda developed trust issues towards any woman I associate with because of Toni."

"Can't say I blame her." She comments.

"Point is, don't expect her to welcome you with open arms right off the bat," I tell her. "You kinda have to earn her trust."

"Guess I got work towards earning her trust when we go to your home town for the wedding then."

"'We?'" I crow confused. "You want to come to Arcadia just so you can become friends with my mom."

"Of course I do. I want her to teach me how to swing at ma fuckas with a cast iron pan." She bumps her hip against mine. "Food's ready. Let's eat."

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