Fancy Spellings And Weird Pronunciations

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I hear muffled voices along with shuffling in my room the moment I started regaining consciousness. I groan, stirring in my bed and pull my blankets to my head, trying to block out the noise and reality altogether. Reality can wait. I don't want to deal with reality. 

"Urie!"

"What?!" I yell, eventually snapping my eyes open and regret it instantly. I feel a wave of pain shoot through my skull and go all the way to my brain until it starts bleeding. It feels like two cavemen are going at it with my skull and brain with two stone axes simultaneously.

As I slowly open my eyes and adjust my vision and find Vinny in my room holding my poodle.

"Sup," Vinny says casually.

"What the fuck are you doing holding my dog - you know what? I don't even want to know. It's too early for this." I say. My voice is a bit hoarse and slurred, partly because I'm still sleepy but mostly because of the alcohol. My mouth tastes like rusty copper and sandpaper and that is not a good mix at all.

"First of all, it's like five p.m. You've been asleep all day. Second, you weren't responding so I thought Hera could give you CPR in case you were dead." He tells me.

"Dogs don't give CPR." I deadpan, narrowing my eyes at how ridiculous he's being.

"She kinda did that one time you thought you were kissing Toni in your sleep."

I feel my blood rush all the way to my face and throw my pillow at him.

"We don't speak of that!" I wail.

"It was pretty hilarious, not gonna lie. I even recorded it." Vinny adds with a mischievous smirk tugging his lips.

I let out a sigh as I sit up straight. "Why are you here?"

"Well, being the awesome and loving friend that I am -" he starts

"Fuck you. Sid is a better loving friend than you." I retort with a snort.

Vinny feigns an offended gasp. "When have I ever not?"

"The time you woke up the entire apartment complex singing 'I believe I can fly' at the top of your damn lungs and got into shit with the landlord."

"That was a long time ago." He pouts.

"It was last week!" I snap, wincing in pain. Fuck this hangover.

"Well, I was going to leave you some meds and hangover remedy for your hangover but I see where your loyalties lie." Vinny huffs dramatically as he turns around, sticking his nose in the air like a diva. I roll my eyes. "And don't keep your hook-up girl waiting."

I knit my eyebrows confused. "What are you talking about?"

"I saw some lady looking around your place by the time I got here." He explains, looking at me over his shoulder. "Didn't take you as someone who's into one nightstands."

I knit my eyebrows. "I never had a one-night stand. I don't even remember bringing anyone to my apartment last night." I tell him.

"I mean...you were drunk so -"

"Motherfucker, do you see me naked in bed?" I say, gesticulating at my black Harry Potter t-shirt.

"So who's the red-haired lady in your apartment then?"

I kick off my blankets, get out of bed and make my way to the living room to see what Vinny's talking about and on about. And lo and behold, I see the woman he's talking about standing in my living room with a confused look plastered on her face.

Just as Vinny said, she has long and wavy red hair, styled into a half bun with a crown of loose curls hanging around her head while the rest of her hair is hanging freely around her sun-kissed shoulders. Her face is sculpted with high cheekbones, a bulbous tipped nose, and thin pink lips, her eyebrows are elegantly brushed and neatly shaped that compliment her eyes which have a unique shade of hazel that makes them look like a flame. She's also dressed in a long white dress that makes her look like a Greek Goddess.

She is beautiful beyond words in the English dialect. Such ethereal beauty was enough to hypnotise any man on earth just by looking at her every woman green with envy.

Whoa there, Urie. You cannot be simping over a woman you just met. I mentally shake my head out of my dazed state.

"Can I help you, ma'am?" I ask.

"Yes," she answers in an alto voice that's complimenting her thick Italian accent. "I'm looking for Yuri Kobayashi."

"Who?" I knit my eyebrows confused.

"Yuri Kobayashi. You know him?"

"I think she's referring to you, dude." Vinny nudges my arm.

"Oh," I answer raising my eyebrows. "That would me but it's pronounced ooh-ree-ey."

She blinks confused before taking out - a file. Where the hell did she get a file? I think.

It's pretty odd that a woman I've never seen in my life is just standing in my apartment, gawking at me as if I'm some alien. She can't be any of the teachers or non-teaching staff at school since my memory is sharp enough to recognise their faces. So who is she?

"How the fuck is U-R-I-E pronounced ooh-ree-ey?!" she exclaims pointing at the file. "It says Yuri and you can't convince me otherwise."

"Amen!" Vinny replies earning a look from me. "What? Your name pronunciation doesn't make sense."

"Mortals and their fancy spellings and weird pronunciations am I right?" the redhead says, putting her fists on her hips.

"Tell me about it." Vinny agrees.

"Now wait a damn minute!" I snap, catching both of their attention. I turn to the woman. "Who the hell are you?"

"A secretary now turned therapist apparently." She answers, rolling her eyes.

My face affects confusion as I look at Vinny. He shrugs his shoulders, returning the same look indicating that he's just as confused by the situation as I am.

"I'm confused," I say.

The red-haired sighs. "Were you or were you not at a fountain that has a statue of Eros and made a wish along the lines of - and I quote - 'it would be nice having someone who actually wants to be with me all the way through and doesn't stop half way' - end quote." She says while reading the folder.

"Gimme that!" I snatch the file from her hand.

"Hey!" she protests, but I ignore her as I browse through the file.

To say that I am surprised at what I'm reading would be an understatement. The file is pretty thorough about everything to do with me - and I do mean everything. My age, background, favourite stuff - heck even some of my habits and most embarrassing moments in my life. This much information about me is enough to put my own mother to shame and she's the one who knows me more than I even know myself.

"What are you? A stalker, FBI agent, CIA?" I demand, pointing the file at her.

"None of the above, asshole." She snatches the file. "I got this information from The Fates' archives since they collect information about the mortals."

"Wait? The Fates as in The Fates from Greek Mythology?" Vinny asks. "They're actually real?"

"Yep." She confirms.

"Wait a minute," I say, rubbing my temples. "There is no way that The Fates or any other Greek Mythological being is real. So it's either you're pranking us or you're just crazy."

"The Olympian Gods are very much real." She clarifies. "It's just that they stopped interacting and giving a damn about you mortals after y'all decided that you're too good and gangsta to worship them like you used to back in the day. Zeus and a couple of others weren't exactly thrilled by that."

"Are you a Goddess?" Vinny asks, earning an incredulous look from me.

"Don't entertain the crazy lady." I snap.

"I don't know about you, but I am very much invested in this." He says.

I facepalm and exhale a sigh.

"I'm actually a fire nymph." She answers.

"You look pretty human to me," I reply unamused.

"Gee! It's not like I'm disguised as a human to blend in and keep mortals from running away screaming as if they saw a literal hellspawn from the Underworld." She replies, with sarcasm dripping in her tone.

"And I'm supposed to believe everything you just said without any proof?" I raise an eyebrow.

"Fine. You have been warned."

My mouth opens silently, shock freezing my gullet. I stand with Vinny, speechless. I lost all feeling in my body as I watch the woman's body change right before us.

And that's when we both started screaming.

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