Kriya

"Hey…" Taani walked to me when she saw me. "Sorry about whatever happened at the party…"

"All cool." I tried to sound cheerful, when I was anything but that. Finding out what I had today, I just wanted to shut off from everyone around me.

Taani let out a little smile, before asking, looking afraid. “So you weren't kidding? You really are married?"

I thought it better to prove. I pulled out the bridal chain which I always kept hidden under my shirt and all thanks to the climate, I always had a scarf on. No one seemed to notice. Taani looked at my hands which held no engagement ring. I followed her gaze and understood what she must be wondering.

“Not a fan of rings so it stays here." I pulled out another chain, the one my friends had seen. I sounded convincing enough to Taani, but only I knew the truth.

Truth was, I loved rings. I didn’t want everyone to know. Now that my friends knew and it didn’t change their opinion about it, it made me wonder why I still don’t wear it. I mean, I’m married. I should be wearing it, shouldn’t I?

"Sorry… I shouldn't be asking. It's just a surprise… Never thought."

"It's okay." I interrupted.  

Once again, I was about to enter the classroom and Roy pulled me away to the fire-escape.

"What is wrong with you?” I exclaimed. How could he pull me like this?

"Why are you lying?"

"Excuse me?" I wasn't understanding him.

"I know you're not married. Why are you lying?"

I crossed my hands across my chest. "Oh really? Since when do you know about my life more than me? Besides, I don't think it necessary to give you any explanation."

"Wait, I'm sorry…" I stopped to give him one last chance for what he had to say. "It's just that… I can't believe it. I was so sure you liked me."

I felt chocked. "WHAT?! Wait a minute. Why? Why would you think that?"

"That night… the way you would react when…"

I controlled my anger. "That night, all I did was save you because you were in trouble because of me. They wanted to hurt me, not you. That was it."

"That was surely not it when I would touch you."

I put my hand up to signal 'stop' when he started to take a step towards me. "That night, I had mixed sedatives in the ointment because without it, you wouldn't have been able to rest. You applied the same on me. I hadn't thought about that before and so, neither of us were thinking straight. Any reaction with you close to me was purely self-conscious. What else would you expect? I have only had Swayam close to me. I am going to be conscious when anyone, you or someone else, invades that personal space."

From his expression, I could tell he was hurt. I hadn't meant for that. "Reyansh,” I said using his full, real name, “I'm sorry, but I never did give you any hints, actions or say anything. You must have taken something the wrong way and for that, I am sorry. I didn't want you to get hurt. Swayam is my husband and that's the truth. The sooner you forget about me, the better it will be for you."

"But you don't love him?" He asked, grasping on. I never said anything about love. The only thing I kept on repeating was that he was my husband.

I was taken aback for a few seconds before I covered up. "That's my personal life and between him and me. I don't need to tell you that."

I left. During class, I kept on thinking where and when my actions could have given the wrong assumption to Roy. I had seen Swayam heart broken and didn't wish that even for my worst enemy. And Roy, after all, was just a person who didn't much matter. Neither a friend nor a foe. He was just someone I was afraid of once because he bullied me, and then he was just someone I saw around university and disliked him for his ways, the vibe he gave me.

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A week had passed by. I was still wrapping my head around everything. Sharon. My friends knowing. Their daily random questions about Swayam and me. I felt closer to them than ever now that I was starting to share my personal life with them. And then, there was Roy. I didn’t talk to him after that time in the fire-exit. About the project? I was just working on it on my own. I just was not ready to face him, knowing his feelings towards me. I don’t think I can look at him without feeling guilty for having broken his heart, even if it were done unintentionally.

The weekend was here and Swayam had shifted back. Along with him, I entered the office building. This was the first time I was coming here. No one knew who I really was. Neither did they pause to see who was walking by. Everyone was just too busy in their own work. I was surprised to see these many employees. Then I told myself, it was obvious. This branch was the main office building in this state. Ofcourse there were going to be these many employees.

Entering Swayam's cabin, he made me sit on his chair. "You just sit and relax."

"Why? Am I not allowed to help?" I asked rolling myself around in a circle like a child.

He chuckled. "Trust me. You don't want the headache of reading through these things. Sometimes, I hate my signature because I've just signed so many of them!"

"Okay… But I want to do something." I looked at him with hopeful eyes.

"Alright, there is one thing." I was excited to hear what he had to say. "When I give you the files, you can sign them for me. And that's all you'll get to do." He stated at the end - in a way telling me there was nothing else he'd allow me to do.

I nodded, taking up his offer. Even that would be something. He sat in the chair opposite to me and went through the terms and conditions in the deals. His assistant, Aashi, came by half hour later to tell him what exactly was pending to do and then went on a coffee run for me.

Swayam

I gave her a look.

"What? I can't even tell my own employees to get me coffee now?" She retaliated. "As much as she is your assistant, she is mine's too." It was just a different thing that I never took part in business work.

Still, I wanted to make a point. "She has more important things to do, you know?"

"Hey, nothing can be important than keeping her boss happy. Which, by the way, is me."

I gaped. Was she really doing this? "Madam, didn't you just say this office belonged to both of us? How come you're the only boss now?"

She gave me a grin. "Simple, if I'm happy; you're happy. So in short, she keeps me happy. You're happy. Her job's done!"

I shook my head at her innocent playing around and went back to reading. She started doodling on the first scrap paper she could find while she waited for me to finish up. When Aashi came back with her coffee, she asked her to get her a burger.

Aashi looked at me with a look of is-she-serious?! Aashi wasn't wrong. Kriya could have asked for both things at the same time. I believed the same and looked at Kriya with a serious look.

"I promise, this is the last thing I'll ask for from her - for today. Then she's all yours." She quickly announced.

I sighed. I couldn't say no to her after all. I looked at Aashi. "Please? And get some pizza too for me? Don't forget your lunch either." She nodded and left. I had always treated her well and never took her work for advantage. So for my sake, she turned a deaf ear to Kriya and fulfilled her demands.

All three of us had our lunch together. Kriya finally accepted it to herself that Aashi wasn't a bad person and was an honest worker. She started treating her nicely and didn't 'order' her around. That, I was relieved about, since if she hadn’t, I was sure. As soon as it would be just me and Aashi, she would have my head. I very well knew Aashi didn’t put up with people’s crap, and I was only thankful that she put up with Kriya because Kriya was my wife, and I was Aashi’s friend.

Kriya

"Swayam?"

"Hmm?" He was engrossed in his laptop.

"Suno na…" I pleaded when he didn't look at me.

"Kya hai Kriya? I'm busy na…"

His tone somehow hurt me. Aashi looked up, hearing it too.

"Okay..." I replied lowly. Then I walked up to Aashi and handed her the note I had written. Trying my best to put on a happy smile, I left. I was sure Aashi could tell I was pretending and that I was hurt by Swayam's snappy reply.

"If he asks, tell him I'm just in the office walking around. He'll worry pointlessly else." My note said.

Swayam

"Ahem-ahem." Aashi cleared her throat standing in front of me.

"Hmm?" I didn't look up at her.

"Swayam!" Her voice was sharp and urgent, anger reflected from her tone.

"What?!" I finally looked up and choose to give my surroundings some attention. "Where's Kriya?" I immediately asked.

"Exactly. Where is she? You were so engrossed in your work that you replied rudely to her and she left. You've never hurt her before." She stated as the facts had it.

"Shit!" I finally remembered my reply. "Where'd she go?"

"Walking around. Go find her."

I left and after starting from the closest place and around, I finally found her on the second floor, standing by the huge glass window that looked out to the busy street.

"Kriya?" She looked at me when she heard me calling her. She gave me a smile. "I'm so sorry!" I apologized when I neared her. "I didn't intend to be rude."

"I know. I'm not mad." She told me. "You must be busy with all the work piled up. You had to postpone things because of me, and then another week with all the shifting. I'm sorry. I shouldn’t have bothered you. Sometimes I forget I’m not a kid anymore, but almost 21 now."

We smiled, the wary out of the way. "So, what'd you want to say?" I asked, not telling her what I truly wanted to tell her, which is that I loved her more because she didn’t care whether she acted her age or not. She was just herself, and that quality of hers is something I would always admire about her.

"Oh that? I was just tired of sitting and wanted to walk around. Thought it's the first time I've been here and I don't really know anyone or where everything is."

I nodded, understanding she wanted to take a tour and I was so busy that I hadn't realized she hadn't seen her own company at all. I pulled her along with me. "Chalo, let's introduce you to Swayam's second home."

She grinned and willingly followed. I showed her the cafeteria, storage room, where offices were and where the technicals were and heads of different departments, what was on each floor, and finally, the terrace, on the twenty second floor. "Whenever we have office parties, we host them here. A perfect view and nice wind." She stood at a safe distance and peeped down. It was a LONG way down.

She looked at me to ask a question but I answered before she could ask. "We put the railings up so no one falls down." She chuckled, realizing it was a stupid question.

"Everyone seems nice." She had met only the head of departments from all the floors.

"Well, when their bosses are so nice, why wouldn't they be too?"

She looped her arm around mine as if this was normal. "Just one more year till graduation. Then I can share half of your burden."

"Swayam?" Aashi ran up and from her unstable breathing, it seemed she had been running up and down trying to find us, when all this girl needed to do was take the elevator to the security floor and check the camera screens to see which floor we were on.

"Sorry… to disturb you. But Mr. Zue is on the line. It's important you talk to him now.'

I nodded and looked at Kriya to speak but she gave me a slight push saying it was fine if I went. "Go. I'll be down in a minute."

Kriya

 After Swayam left with Aashi, I analyzed how much Swayam was handling and not even once, he let me know of just how much he had to take care of. I genuinely wanted to share all the work so he could relax. For the first time in years, I felt as if I was seeing the complete Swayam Shekhawat just now.

Till now, I was only aware of his homely caring attitude, and the heartless one he once faked when we first met, the façade he wanted others to see him as. It was the first time I was seeing him as a businessman ordering around and successfully running over a trillion dollar international business. All the load on just his shoulders.

"Swayam… why don't you ever share your budens?" I asked out to open air, only because asking it simply in my head wasn’t enough.

"Aashi, go home." I told her when I caught her yawning. It was nearing to 10 p.m. and everyone had left at 7:30. She had stayed back and knowing Swayam, I knew he wouldn't be done for atleast a few more hours.

"But…" Aashi objected.

"Really, you should go. It’s very late. And you know how Swayam is. He won't be done anytime soon. You've been here since early morning as it is."

"Okay." She gathered her stuff and was almost out of the door when she stopped. "It was nice meeting you Kriya. You're lucky to have Swayam."

I smiled back, her words rewinding in my head. I knew I was and no matter how many times I accepted it or appreciated him, it would be less.

"Good night." I bid Aashi and then turned to see Swayam on the table in his chair. He was completely unaware of the conversation happening in the same room. That's how absorbed he was in the file he was reading.

I looked around for Swayam's head phones as I hadn't brought mines along. I hadn't known I’d be here this late. Finding them, I plugged them in my ears and turned on the play list in my iPhone.

Roy

"Taani? What are you doing here?" I asked as I turned to see her entering my room.

"I know it's late. But I just needed to talk to you. Face to face." I nodded for her to come in and we went out to the balcony. "How are you holding up? With Kriya and all?" She asked.

"How did you cope knowing I loved someone else?" He asked. The question was, after all, fair. The only way Taani could understand what I must be feeling was because she went through it too.

"Honestly, it sucks to be in this position."

I nodded. "I know. But… I can't do anything either. She was right. She never said or did anything that should have made me feel as if she returned my feelings. She never did lead me on."

Taani put a consoling hand over mines, which rested on the railing. "You'll move on soon."

She knew I wouldn't. Still, she wanted to give me hope. I didn’t understand it. "Have you?" I asked bluntly. Then I realized he was being rude when she was simply trying to be there for me, as a friend, as she had promised she'd always be. "I'm sorry."

"No, it's okay. Rey, I know it's hard. Trust me, I know. You feel as if your heart is being ripped into millions of pieces, then forced to put it together, only to have it ripped apart again, over and over again. What hurts the most is that it was done by someone you trusted and had given your heart to. When they don't return the feelings, the rejection is the saddest pain yet the truth of life.”

“I loved you. I still do. But I've accepted the fact that you are not mine's to have. You love Kriya and that feeling will never really go away. It'll stay within there…" She pointed at my heart. "-for the rest of the life. But, as I accepted, you will too accept sooner or later that she was never written to be with you. Destiny had other plans for me and it does for you too."

"Since when do you talk smart?" I joked, knowing tears were falling from her eyes. In the night dark, I could still see then. They were about to from in mines as well.

She chuckled at my attempt to lighten the moment. "Heartbreaks can make you philosophical."

We remained silent for a while. "Why did you make me realize I loved her? I mean, you would have known it meant our breakup. Why?" I questioned.

She smiled. "I already told you, Rey. If I hadn't, you wouldn't be happy and even if you would have been with me, I wouldn't be entirely happy either."

"Still, wasn't there something that wanted you to do otherwise? Anything to not let me go?"

"Yes, but then I would be cheating myself. Betraying both of us. And if you truly love Kriya, you will not do anything stupid as to affect her married life with Swayam, got it?"

"How did you-?" I started to question, stunned, but then dropped it. "I'll try not to." I promised. And the promises I made to her, he rarely broke them. There was that thought, and after the offer, I had for a second considered it. But after listening to Taani, seeing the kind of love she was showing me to give, I knew what I had to do next.

We were on the same boat. She loved me, I loved Kriya and Kriya couldn't be mines. I didn't know if Kriya loved Swayam or not, but it didn't matter. The bottom point was, it could never be. She had prayed for me to be happy in my life and unlike her, to get my love. But as the game went cruel and had its way, I had to suffer the same as her. She had never wished for me to go through the same things. Alas, nothing was within either of our control any longer. One truth had changed many lives.

"We should get in. It's getting colder outside." I spoke and walked in. She stood there for a second and followed inside to the warm room.

"What are you going to do next?" She asked.

"Something silly - if you hadn't shown me the right way just now."

She was happy seeing I wasn't taking it negatively. "Love really does change people." She concluded out loud, assuming what I must be thinking making that decision.

"Hurts, doesn't it?" A female voice said, coming up from the turning in the fire-escape. I turned to see the girl, and remembered seeing her just the other day. Sharon. "Being rejected by the one you love? Not being able to have them?"

"Excuse me." I politely turned to leave, not wanting to have a conversation, especially with her. She made my head hurt.

"It's not the first time she's done that, you know?"

"Who are you?" I knew her name was Sharon, but I needed to know who she was.

She took a step up to meet his eye. "What's more important for you is what I can do for you." I raised my brows, her words appealing. "What if I said you could have Kriya?"

I scoffed. "And why would you want to help me?"

"I have my own reasons." She announced. "That doesn't concern you though. All you need to decide is if you want Kriya or not. At the end, you'll have the one you love, and me - him. One week. I’ll give you one week to decide."

Taani

"You know, I can't say if that's a good thing or bad. One side, I feel like doing everything I can to get Kriya and remove Swayam from the picture. I want to be selfish. But on the other side, it's forcing me to think about Kriya and where her happiness lays. It's forcing me to be selfless."

I smiled, knowing just how that felt. Knowing Rey loved Kriya, even I felt like keeping Kriya as far away from Rey as possible, even though Kriya never was around us. She had never tried to steal Rey away from me. And on the other side, I knew I had to let Rey know. I wanted to help Rey get his love, if only I had known about Kriya and Swayam then, I wouldn’t have made him realize his true love, or encouraged him to pursue it. I would have saved him the heartbreak.

I scoffed, hating life for what it was. "Life is but a big web of truth - even if the truth is bitter. In life, we love. And, we lose. Love demands sacrifices. At every step. It's a fact neither you nor I can undo."

××××××××××××

Swayam

I stretched my neck and happened to look up. I saw Kriya on the tiny couch, her knees hugging her chest. Noticing the time, I cursed himself. I didn't know what it was about work that just seemed to take a hold over my senses. I didn't want to wake her but I knew I’d have to. I couldn't have her sleeping there the whole night when there wasn't a blanket here and I had no idea where the air control room was so I could turn the heat on.

"Kriya?" At the soft call, she opened her eyes. I took the ear plugs out and motioned for her to get up. "You can sleep in the car.'

She didn't wake up completely and hence, I had to hold her as she walked. She rested her head on my chest as she mumbled, "You could've just picked me up."

Oh, trust me. I had considered that option. I pressed the elevator button to the basement as we got in. I had her sit in the car when we reached the floor and buckled her in. Time and again, I had to keep her head from bouncing sideways as she slept, her head resting on the belt.

I didn't want to carry her up the stairs and hence just kicked the door open of my room and laid her down on my bed. Tucking her comfortably in blanket, I turned the lights off and was about to leave when she threatened. "Don't you dare go back to work. Sleep.'

Instead of going out of the room, I closed the door and came back in, a smile playing on my lips.

××××××××××××

Kriya

Swayam snapped me out of my thoughts during breakfast. Again, Vicky had eaten quickly and darted out the door to meet Neha. "So lost?"

"Nothing..."

"Want to share?" He asked, seeing that it was anything but ‘nothing’.

I shook my head. "Nothing important. How's Aashi?" He was surprised. "What? I can't make friends and ask about them?"

"I thought you didn't like her."

I hit my forehead. "You really weren't paying attention yesterday, were you? If you were, you would have seen our crazy talks."

I was diverting the topic.

I couldn't stop thinking about Roy's question. Till Swayam wasn’t here, it was easy to push it out of my head. But ever since his return yesterday, it was hard to not replay the words over and over again in my head.

"But you don't love him?"

His question kept ringing up and down my head, covering all of my thoughts. I had never experienced love. I really didn't know. Blinking, I looked at Swayam who seemed to be waiting for my answer.

"Huh?"

"I said, why don't we invite her over for dinner? Since you both seem to be good friends now."

I nodded. "Yeah, that'd be great. Can I come with you to office? I wanna invite her personally."

"Sure. First finish eating. Don't rush."

I took my chewing down a level. If he hadn't said it, I was about ready to gulp all my food down.

“Oh, and I told them.”

“Who?”

“Hannah, Shane and Car.”

“You did?” He asked, sounding surprised.

I nodded. “Well, they seemed to already know for a long time now, but still. They officially know.” I knew why he was surprised. He knew of my fear about telling them. Seeing me composed, he just smiled.

“Good for you.” I nodded again. It was indeed good. I could be open around them, not having a constant fear that I would say something I wasn’t supposed to.

“Can I invite them for dinner too?”

He chuckled, “Kriya, they’re your friends. You live in this house more than I do. You can invite whoever you want, especially now that they know.”

I grinned. He might be right, but I didn’t want to invite them without him feeling comfortable around them.

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