( zero. )

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THE FIRST SOUND YOU HEARD WAS THE BEEPING OF AN OBJECT BESIDE YOUR HEAD.

It was a sound you were all-too familiar with, a sound you didn't want to hear in that exact moment, a sound that you absolutely dreaded.

Then the bright atmosphere was the first thing that greeted you, along with hushed voices tucked in the corner.

It was then that in that exact moment that you had realized something.

You failed.

When your mother had heard your soft moan in pain, she was beyond relieved and quickly rushed toward your aching figure splayed along the hospital bed.

Tears brimmed the corners of her tired eyes, her shaking hand reaching towards a strand of your dark brown hair.

"Oh thank god." She breathed.

"...Mom? W-What happened?" You wondered, matching colored eyes scanning your surroundings before landing on her fatigued figure.

"You're in the hospital, darling. I'm so glad you're okay." She explained, quietly.

You just stayed quiet, soaking in her words.

"...so, I'm not dead?" You questioned, and your mother quickly shakes her head in disagreement.

"No, baby. You're not."

It's quiet between you both, as the older woman steps away to call the nurse while pressing down upon a red button.

The door soon opens, revealing the familiar brunette nurse you've met several times in the past.

"Miss Matt. We are so glad you're awake, it's been a long couple of days. You were out for about a week, nobody believed you were going to make it."

Her words were encouraging, almost optimistic, but all you could hear were the words 'nobody believed you were going to make it'.

It was at that moment that tears built up in your brown eyes, one trailing down the side of your cheek.

I was so close, you thought.

Your mother, believing the tears were of relief, gave a small reassuring smile before her own tears fell down and hit the back of her hand.

"I knew you were going to make it. I'll get you help, I'm sorry for being such a horrible mother." She whispered.

You stared at the crying woman, slightly shocked.

You didn't want the only positive person in your life to cry, she did not deserve that after all she had been through growing up.

After everything you both had been through, her crying was something you often avoided.

But you just wanted to disappear.

You didn't want to be placed on this Earth anymore, you were done with everything, having lost all your friends to suicide to your father and sister being murdered in cold blood.

You were there when everything happened, feeling helpless in each situation.

At least with death you can see them, again.

"I can't loose you, too. I lost everyone else, please Eris. Don't leave me like everyone else." She begged, and in that moment you had saw your mother helpless.

The woman who was the definition of strength was begging for you to live.

"...Mom." You were at loss for words.

Her hand soon cradled your own, holding it against the side of her face to feel the warmth you gave off, as if she was trying to believe that you were real.

You couldn't let her down, you told yourself you couldn't. "Okay, I promise."

If you can't live for yourself, you'd live for her.