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..........M.E.R.I.D.I.A.N......L.I.G.H.T.S..........

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"Yuzu." Someone interrupted me from my musings. "Yah, Yuzu."

"Ha?"

"Guess what?"

"Too lazy," I said, fending off this annoyance, "go bother someone else."

Sato grumbled, stubbornly moving his chair closer to my desk. He lowered his voice, waggled his brows suggestively. "I heard Hanabi's interested in you."

"Mmhm." I yawned sleepily, blinking away the tears that resulted from it.

"I'm not joking!" Sato insisted.

"Who said you were?"

"Your tone did."

"Does it look like I care?" I replied. Hand propped my chin, dully looking at him sideways through the corners of my eyes. "I didn't know you like to gossip. How shameful."

"Yah!" Sato exclaimed, gaining the attention of our other classmates. A bit embarrassed, he cleared his throat and waited for our classmates to ignore us before he leaned forward and lowered his voice again, "This is Hanabi. Hanabi!"

Head throbbing from this nonsense, I sighed heavily. "Plenty of Hanabi in school, common name."

"It's Hanabi, the one that transferred this year? New girl? Remember?"

"Dunno."

Sato opened and closed his mouth like fish, frustration building inside him. It amused me greatly. He sighed while nodding sarcastically. "Alright, I get it. Why the hell am I even saying this to a guy who rejects confessions on a monthly basis?"

"You make it sound like I'm such a heartless person." I lazily smirked and shifted my position to face him. Basically, I just shifted hands, my left hand was now the one propping my chin. "I consider myself quite the gentleman."

"You are so conceited, you know that?"

"Arigato." I nodded solemnly at him.

A few hours later, classes were finished and it was time to go home. My friends went over to my desk while I was arranging my bag.

"We're going to that new burger joint, wanna come?"

"Can't," I said, slinging my backpack on, "I have a meeting with the council."

"That sucks."

"Ok, see you."

Afterward, my friends left and I trudged towards the student council. It was the same old meeting that we had every month. Representatives from every class were required to listen as the student heads prattled on about boring and redundant regulatory stuff. I shouldn't have accepted the class representative position. I was too busy for this.

A buzz in my pocket caught my attention. Checking if anyone's looking my way, I slipped my phone from my pocket and held it under the table. When I saw who texted me, an unexpected smile found its way on my lips.

The Philippine Fed is crazy \(o__O)z

Most feds tend to be like that.

I looked up. The others were still busy talking to each other. I typed another message.

What did they do this time?

Era then went on to complain about various things in a series of texts to prove her point that her federation was indeed crazy.

I snorted and hid my mouth behind my hand when a schoolmate looked my way. I pretended to clear my throat and pay attention to the meeting.

Ohh, poor you.

I know, right? And I was like whut bruh? And they were like Uhuh, go do it, k bye.

Biting my lip to restrain my smile, I ran my hand down the side of my face as my own version of a face-palm. I never could be bored when with Era. Her eccentricities may not be as pronounced as others, but it was still there, lurking beneath her wonderful surface.

That's what made her unique. That's what I liked about her.

I guess... that's why she's the girl I was closest to and who I wanted to be closest to.

It's not a secret that I didn't have any close friends of the opposite sex in this school. I was polite to them, and they were quite friendly to me, sometimes, overly so, but there was still that barrier between the girls and me.

Relatives, yes, I get along well with my female relatives. As for training mates? It's actually an unspoken pre-requisite to be kind and get along well with other skaters. The ones I met in training camps... Kanako immediately came to mind as she was the one who got along best with me. I only considered her as a friend, a goofy friend like the other guys, nothing more.

However, the first genuinely close friend I had that I wanted to actively pursue was Era.

Being with her... it was such a nice thing... a warm and comfortable feeling. She had this effect on me. An effect where I could be myself. She didn't have any pretense like the others who were somehow intimidated by my presence. That's what made me comfortable in her presence. It was truly addicting.

So addicting that I didn't want to share her with anybody else.

I became possessive because of it.

As a result, I was unexpectedly drenched in ice cold water when she said that she was going to the prom with that unworthy guy.

Don't go.

No one was worthy of her. Aside from me.

I brooded in my room, clutching my phone between my hands, watching as text after text notified on my phone.

Why?

Why would she go out with that guy?

She doesn't even like the guy in that way. She told me herself.

This kind of thinking was dangerous. I was becoming too possessive. She was her own person. I didn't have the right to restrain her, limit her, no matter how I wanted to.

Oh, how I wanted to.

I thought it was just a simple crush for a pretty face and a wonderful personality. I didn't expect it to evolve into something more. Something deeper. Clenching the phone tightly, I had to admit that I was afraid.

I didn't want to lose her.

But above all else, I didn't want her to hate me.

I couldn't stand the thought of it.

*****

"Yuzu." Sato glided over, nudging my side.

"Mm?"

"Look, it's Hanabi."

"Who?"

"I can't believe you still don't know her!" Sato sighed insufferably. "Even I know her."

"Good for you."

"She looks so cute." Sato sighed dreamily.

"Really?" I curiously glanced over the girl to see what the hype was all about. I studied her slight form before I tilted my head. If I've seen her a few years ago, I probably would've found her cute. The girl had that kind of beauty that people would see on television.

Era destroyed my perception of girls.

Bad Era.

A wave of sadness washed through me. It's been a couple of months since we last talked. Every day, I question myself if this was the right thing to do. I knew that prom thing was important to her. I didn't want to take it away from her due to my own selfishness.

I decided to contact her again once she graduates. If I contacted her now... I was afraid I would be too possessive and tell her not to go to prom with that unworthy guy. I didn't want to limit her due to my own selfishness.

I shook my head and paid attention to what Sato was chattering about.

"Mm, she looks ok." I disinterestedly looked away, taking another gulp of water before sealing off the cap.

"You need to get your eyes checked..."

"I already did. I have prescription glasses, remember?"

"Shh! She's coming over!" Sato quietly panicked, agitatedly patting my shoulder. "She's coming over! Why is she coming over...?"

"I know! I get it, geez." I shrugged off Sato's annoying hand. "Ask her yourself."

The girl glided over to where we were standing. From what I could discern in those few seconds, she was a figure skater based on the way she easily handled herself on the ice. "Sato-san, good morning," she greeted.

"Ha, Hanabi-san, you're a skater as well?" Sato nervously inquired.

"Ah, Sato-san." The girl sweetly smiled, quickly glancing at me. There was a tint of shyness surrounding her presence. "Yes, I started when I was nine," she said to Sato. She glanced at me again. If I wasn't mistaken, I think it was obvious that she wanted Sato to introduce us.

Sato, being mightily dense in front of his crush, started to ramble on about random things. It was starting to get awkward between him and Hanabi, with Sato being too nervous to properly form a sentence and Hanabi starting to fidget and wearing a strained smile, also bluntly staring at me at this point.

I sighed heavily and closed my eyes for a split second before I erased any signs of discomfort. I politely greeted the girl just to save Sato from his bumbling situation. "You must be Hanabi-san?"

"Yes!" Hanabi perked up before flushing in embarrassment from her loud voice. In a much quieter and gentler tone, she said, "Yes, I'm Ogura Hanabi. I, I transferred to the same school, um, and I'm enrolling as a student here too, I mean in this rink." She nervously held her hands behind her back.

"We'll be training mates then," I said, smiling kindly at her. "Hanyu Yuzuru. It's nice to see the club gain another member. This guy here," I added, patting Sato on the back to get his sense together, "you can ask him anything if you find some things confusing."

"Yes," Hanabi said, bowing to me. "Yoroshiku onegaishimasu."

"Welcome to the club."

*****

The Vancouver Olympics had been over and done with. Watching Era fight through it despite the odds made me very excited. Adrenaline rushed throughout my body.

Era said over time that she did her best to chase me, stand by my side in the world podiums. Instead, I privately wondered how she came across that idea when I was the one chasing her.

I was the one who severely wanted to stand beside her. Not only in the figure skating community but also publicly in our relationship.

With our interactions, I knew she wasn't ready. Who would be when faced with a young guy?

For the nth time, I was frustrated that I was younger than her. She wouldn't take me seriously no matter what I did. I've outwardly shown that I liked her... didn't I?

I was lost in my thoughts that I didn't hear the rooftop door open.

"Yuzu-kun."

I was startled when I heard a familiar voice.

"Hanabi-san?"

"Yuzu-kun, it's me," Hanabi stuttered, a rampant blush covering her cheeks. "I was the one who wrote the letter."

The letter.

Yes, I was here because of that letter. I was too lost in thought thinking about Era that I remembered it just now.

It was an hour ago when my friends and I were in the shoe lockers just before the main entrance of the school. There were talking about a group blind date or something. I wasn't really paying attention.

"Ahh, look at these virgins." Touma shook his head despairingly. "Leave it to the master of romance, yah?"

"You only went to a blind date! Once!"

"He wasn't even supposed to be in it!" Sato goaded.

They changed their shoes and got their stuff while bickering. When they were at the main door they noticed that I wasn't going with them.

"Hey, Yuzu, what's up?

"Hm, I forgot something. You guys go on ahead."

"You sure?"

"Yeah, later." I waved at them as they said their goodbyes.

The reason for that was the letter that was now in my pocket. It was one of the usual love letters that I received. It may sound like that I was a player, but I wasn't. Far from it.

I never even had a girlfriend.

Nevertheless, I responded to each and every letter because I knew how hard it was to convey your feelings to the person that you love.

Back at the present, I listened to Hanabi. She told me that she liked me from the moment that she saw me. She liked me because I was kind enough to guide her to the faculty room on her first day of school.

She got lost and was worried that she would be late when I showed up. I was surprised because I didn't remember this particular event. Maybe because it was such an ordinary and unremarkable event that my mind chose not to keep it.

I kept my mouth shut because I knew it would unnecessarily hurt her if I blurted out such a thing. So, then, I listened.

Hanabi said more things and events that seemed ordinary to me but held such a significant thing to her. Such as the time I said some skating tips to her, the time I lent my CD to her, and even the time I opened the door for her because she was carrying the class files.

I suddenly realized that I was Hanabi.

I saw myself in Hanabi's position and Era in my position.

A wave of understanding came over me. I never accepted these confessions because I loved someone else. Even if it's easier to accept one and forget the other... I would never do that to Era.

"I'm sorry."

A hitched breath was heard and I saw Hanabi's shoulders tensed. A rush of pity went through me at the sight of her sorry state. She'll probably hate me if she could read my thoughts.

No one wanted to be pitied. I know I wouldn't if Era rejected me. I would hate it.

"I don't feel the same."

I bowed deeply to her for a long moment. She didn't utter a word. Hanabi just curled hands in a tight fist, pressed it against her chest and lowered her head.

It was a sad scene. I couldn't bear to look at it, fearing that I would be the same if faced with Era's rejection. I straightened from my bow, stepped aside, and went towards the rooftop door.

"Do you like someone else?"

I stalled in my steps as I heard her question.

A moment of silence passed before my footsteps were heard again, striding from the rooftop, ready to join the rest of the students.

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..........M.E.R.I.D.I.A.N......L.I.G.H.T.S..........

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(This takes place before Elana went to Sendai.)

(I love writing Yuzuru's POV.)

(P.S.: This chapter is the SECOND update today. Actually, Third, if you count the new novel posted on my page, Meridian Lights V2, an alternate universe of ML where Elana is younger.)

(P.P.S.: Please go back one chapter, titled: Infamy, to see the continuation of Meridian Lights.)