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..........M.E.R.I.D.I.A.N......L.I.G.H.T.S..........

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It's been eight months since I started skating.

Yes, I had proven my mom and myself wrong.

When I first had that conversation with my parents, I had been serious when I told them that I wanted to try ice skating, or figure skating, as I now knew. But there had always been that part in the back of my mind that contradicted what I was saying back then. What if I did give up skating? What if I get tired of it quickly?

If I did get tired, my mom would most likely bump me in the head as my skates alone cost twenty thousand pesos.

Fortunately, that didn't happen. I had come to love the sport.

Sure, in the beginning, I was always falling down my butt. However, thanks to Coach Edmund, I slowly but surely was able to glide along the ice without needing to stay beside the rails.

Whenever my coach taught me, he would always bring me to center ice.

Didn't you know how nerve-wracking that was for a complete beginner?

Well, Coach Edmund had always been slightly sadistic beneath his gentle demeanor.

These past eight months had been very beneficial to my skating life. I skated daily, somehow, I was able to manage my time efficiently. School started at 8 am and ended at 5 pm. At 5 pm onwards, my driver would accompany me to Megamall, where the skating rink was. In the Philippines, there were only two rinks in total. One was in Megamall, while the other was in a faraway province, Cebu.

My practice usually runs four hours in total during the weekdays. In the weekends, I usually stayed at the rink for six hours.

It was very difficult. Very, very difficult.

Did I think about quitting? Yes, who didn't?

Did I ever follow through it, even for just a week? No, and I think I never would.

Skating became my passion. Skating became my life.

My family was shocked that I was so passionate about the sport. Fortunately, my parents had my back 100% of the way.

The cold temperature at the rink gave me a relaxing feeling as I glided around. I had always loved the cold. Even though I was born in Warm & Sunny Philippines, I preferred a cold environment as opposed to a warm one. I thanked God for solar panels in my house, else our electric bill would've shot through the roof since I always liked to turn the A/C on.

Surprisingly, there were only four of us in the ice rink at the moment, and judging from their movements they were only guest skaters who tried skating for fun. Usually, the rink was filled to the brim, seeing as we only had two rinks in the country.

Coach Edmund was an assistant coach way back when I first met him. A few months after that, he became certified and was accredited to coach.

I started to practice my spins. My coach always said that a good foundation was the most important thing in figure skating.

As well as the jumps. But I just added that last part.

Just then, the audio began to switch to a new song. It was a mixtape from Moulin Rouge.

https://youtu.be/ijCg8sBPlcU

In time with the music, I glided backward before doing a one-foot turn. I brought my arms forward as I acted out the choreography forming in my mind. Doing backward crossovers as I spanned across the rink before doing a waltz jump, I continued practicing my footwork in time with the music.

I was so immersed in acting out the developing choreography in my mind that I didn't notice as the other skaters and their acquaintances outside the rink stopped to watch me.

The music began to build up as I did a crossover before doing a single Axel. I glided across the ice, let myself relax and proceeded to do a double toe. My landing was a little shaky but I paid it no mind as I continued on with a flying sit spin.

I got out of the spin and put my arms overhead in yearning as I acted the emotion from the ballad. I continued to glide and play out the scenario with immense emotion before doing a double loop, half loop, double Salchow.

Crossovers and one-foot turn before gliding again then I readied myself before smoothly performed a double flip in the air. My arms fluidly moved through the air at the accelerating tempo of the music. It had reached the climax and neared the end as I did a combination spin consisting of a camel spin, frattiani, haircutter and ended it with a scratch spin.

The music ended and silence once again permeated the air. I was still situated in a pose as I tried to get my breathing back in order.

A sudden outburst of cheering and applause filled the rink.

I was startled out of my pose as my consciousness came back to me. Very flustered, I began to turn red at the attention I was getting as the mall was filled with people outside of the rink. It seemed that my routine attracted the attention of other mall goers.

I honestly didn't notice that I attracted so much attention. That's the problem with me. Every time I skated to a routine, especially when accompanied by a beautiful track, I immerse myself into the music and act it out with my evoked emotions. I couldn't help but choreograph it in my mind.

Hastily, I bowed to the audience before gliding towards the entrance. I wasn't used to the attention.

"Good job!" Coach Edmund laughed, patting me around the shoulders. "You really should join the novice competition, Ela."

"C-coach," I stuttered, mightily embarrassed. I wasn't really built for shows or whatever. I just did skating for fun and improvement. That's what I always told him. He probably already memorized my Refusal Speech.

Skating in competitions where hundreds of eyes were ready to criticize your every move?

Hell no.

"No, I'm serious." Coach Edmund turned to me. "You have so much talent, Ela. You improved a lot in such a short amount of time. Didn't you know some people take years just to do what you did? And that dedication to this sport... I wouldn't be surprised if one day you'll be able to represent our country."

If I had a hint of a blush earlier, I was probably a full-blown cherry red tomato now.

"Stop joking around," I countered weakly, as I proceeded to sit down on the sitting area near the lockers. I untied the laces before removing my skates. I sighed in relief as my feet began to relax.

"I told you, I'm serious." Coach Edmund sat beside me.

"Coach, you know I can't perform in front of plenty of people right?"

He raised his brow at me.

"And no, I didn't even know that I would attract that much attention, so earlier doesn't count," I butted in advance, already knowing what he'd say.

Coach Edmund sighed.

"Ela, you really should think about it again." He raised his hand as I started to say something. "No, seriously, think about it. Skating around for fun and improving your skills is one thing, but competing in competitions gives you a different kind of rush and adrenaline that you wouldn't be able to feel just by staying where you are."

"Coach..."

"You're still young, Ela. You have so much untapped potential. So, before you automatically trash this application, promise me you'll think about carefully." Coach Edmund handed over an application, on it were the words Basic Novice Figure Skating Competition. I reached out and tried to take it from him but he didn't let go. "Seriously. Do not trash this immediately, not like the other times." I sighed, before nodding. He then let go of the form.

"I'll take your word for it." He patted me again on the shoulders before standing up. "Well, I have other students, I'll see you around." He waved at me before going to the rink again.

"Thanks, Coach!" I called after him.

I held the application in my hands.

Sighing once again, I shoved the paper into my bag before I took out my phone and earphones. I still had fifteen minutes left before my driver would be here to pick me up.

I wore my earphones before going through the media files. I then found the video I was searching for.

It was this particular video that I personally recorded that got me interested in figure skating. It was the video of that Mysterious Mushroom-haired Han-boy, as I impetuously dubbed him.

I watched the video again for the umpteenth time and, still, I couldn't help but be amazed at this boy.

Sure, I watched other videos of the other figure skaters online. And yes, plenty of these said figure skaters were leaps and bounds better than the boy. But there was something different about this boy. I think it's the way he moved or the innate raw talent that he obviously had.

Even if I didn't know his name, nor his face since I wasn't able to get a clear look at him back then - It had been a long time, the only thing I clearly remembered was his mushroom hair - and the video that I recorded was pretty blurry, there was something that I was certain of.

This Mysterious Mushroom-haired Han-boy - aka MMH - would be great in the future.

I didn't know how exactly I know, and I wouldn't also be able to explain how I know. I just knew that he will. Yes, that's my credibility going down the drain right there.

*****

I was finishing up my homework when someone knocked on my door.

"Hey, mind if I come in?" Mom leaned against the doorway.

If my brothers inherited their looks from my dad, in turn, I mostly inherited my looks from my mom. She also had brown almond-shaped eyes, rosy cheeks, and soft black wavy hair that delicately framed her heart-shaped face.

"Sure." I shrugged, before jotting down a few more words to complete my homework so that I could put it away.

Mom sat on my bed and I turned towards her still at my seat.

"What's up?" I was curious about what brought her here.

"Well..." Mom dragged on, before pulling out a folded paper from her pocket, "look what I found from the laundry."

"Mom!" I tried to snatch away the novice application, but Mom was faster.

"So, when are you going to tell me about this?" Mom asked, waving around the application.

"Never," I deadpanned.

"Your coach just called," Mom continued, ignoring me. "He said that you're more than qualified to participate in this thing."

"Ma," I whined, wanting her to drop this.

"And he also told me to tell to not let you throw this in the trash asap."

"Yeah, he told me that too. Several times."

"So, why don't you?" Mom asked, the application still in her grasp. "Participate, I mean."

"Ma, you of all people know how I do with crowds." I rolled my eyes. "Whenever I show up on stage to entertain people, I always blank out." I took careful consideration to say the word 'entertain' in a highly distasteful manner.

"Honey, that was years ago," Mom deadpanned. Yep, I inherited that look from her. "Like, kindergarten years ago."

"I still blanked out," I pointed out.

"I honestly don't know how you can remember something so long ago yet forget the things I'm asking you to do."

"It's different. That horrific event back then scarred me for life," I informed her in another deadpanned look.

"Then you can Un-Scar your life."

"Is that even a legitimate word, Ma?"

"That doesn't matter." Mom waved away my sarcasm as she handed me the application. "Now, fill this in."

"Uh, No!" I pushed the application away.

"Uhuh, Yes." She pushed it back to me again.

"Ma!"

"Look, honey," Mom began, intently looking at me that I had no choice but to shut up. It's the Mom Look. "I know you. I know every quirk of your personality, be it the Good one, the Bad one, or the Weird one-"

"Hey!"

"-and that's why I know that you will regret it if you let this opportunity pass you by."

"No, I won't."

"Yes, you will," Mom countered. "Listen, Elana. You're only thirteen at this time of your life. You will never get back the years again. As cliché as it sounds, you should live life to the fullest. There's nothing more annoying than regretting something you hadn't done just because you hesitated."

"Is this from experience?" I joked around.

"Yes, it is," Mom said bluntly.

Oh.

Well, this was awkward.

"I'm telling you this because I did hesitate on something, and now, I'm regretting it even today. Thoughts sometimes cross my mind on Why didn't I do this or Why didn't I do that. I don't want you to experience the same thing."

"Why don't we reverse that. Thoughts like Why did I do that may cross my mind," I couldn't help but butt in again.

"Believe it or not honey, it's better to do something, than not doing anything at all," Mom stated wisely, before quickly adding, "of course, not illegal things."

We came to a standstill.

I know my mom was right. But I just couldn't stand crowds.

Was it really worth it though? To let this opportunity pass me by just because I was too nervous to perform?

"I don't have a costume," I gave a halfhearted excuse.

"Easily done, I can buy you plenty of costumes. We can buy it tomorrow."

"Ma, I don't even have a routine."

"Yes, you do."

"Ha?"

"Your coach sent this to me." Mom took out her phone before playing a video on it. It was a video of me earlier today performing the Moulin Rouge routine.

"What the!"

"Honey, I'm not sadistic enough to let you perform if I know you suck."

"You're pretty blunt, Ma," I commented.

"I know."

"And there is such a thing as an SP and an FS."

"Your coach told me he recorded more of your routines in the past and was going to send it to me tomorrow."

"Ugh!"

The betrayal was high.

"Anyways, I saw the video and I was amazed. I was shocked. You didn't tell me you can do all this stuff."

"It's nothing really." I fidgeted, blushing slightly.

"I can tell you that it's definitely not nothing. I thought you can only skate around, and by skate, I meant walking on the ice or something. But here, you're actually dancing gracefully, and those jumps! Wow!"

"Plenty of other skaters are way better than me," I protested, uncomfortable.

"So what? It's no fun if someone isn't better than you. That's what those competitions are there for. Someone is always better. You just have to catch up to them and beat them into submission."

"Ok, Ma, is this your past talking again?"

"That doesn't matter." Mom waved it off again then commanded me, "Now sign this and let me brag about you to my amigas."

"Really, Ma, really."

*****

I couldn't stop my hands from trembling as I sat on the bench waiting for my turn to come.

The skater on the ice was nearly finished with her routine.

"Hey." Coach Edmund placed a hand on my back. "It's fine to be nervous. I actually don't know of any skater who wasn't nervous in a competition. But don't let it get to you."

"Sorry," I mumbled.

"Don't be. Just do your best out there. We're all cheering for you." Coach Edmund smiled. "Word of advice. Imagine that you're the only one at the stadium. Just do what you always do when you're alone dancing with the music."

"Yes, Coach." I nodded firmly. I closed my eyes and deeply breathed.

I forced myself to calm down.

The applause rang out signaling the end of the short program, or simply called SP, of the current skater. The figure skating competitions were basically composed of a short program and a long program. The scores of each program would be added together - and voila! - the skater with the highest score would be the one to win the competition.

It was my turn now.

I opened my eyes and stood up. I proceeded to the rink before handing the blade covers to my coach.

Once on the ice, I leaned my hands on the railings, lifted up my foot, the left foot first, then down, then the right foot second, then down again. I patted the railing twice before I bowed to my coach. I patted the railing once. Then I pushed off the railing gliding backward before doing a forward crossover circling the rink before gradually gliding towards center ice.

The audience cheered as I first entered the ice, the loudest being my family as I could hear their distinctive voices. But I didn't look at them. No, I cleared my mind, following the advice of my coach.

I was the only person inside the stadium. All those outside noises were ignored.

I was going to immerse myself in the music.

And immersed myself, I did.

https://youtu.be/rUuusqy50yk

(FS- Tchaikovsky's Valse Sentimentale)

If someone would ask me if the audience liked my program, I wouldn't be able to answer. Because I didn't pay any notice if anyone cheered for my spins or jumps. Maybe I did hear the applause but I quickly forgot about it.

Instead, I focused entirely on my SP. Letting my body dance fluidly through practiced movements. Hope and despair swallowed me and flowed throughout my body. It felt surreal as I spun around the ice in increasing intensity as the music started to reach the climax.

I was able to do all my jumps and my spins at just the right times. As my SP was ending, I did one last combination spin consisting of a camel spin, evolving into a donut spin and then a sit spin that then shifted into a layback spin with my right arm reaching upwards. I rotated a few more times as I straightened my body before holding both my hands in front of me just as the music stopped.

Thunderous applause filled the stadium.

*****

I had just finished skating my long program, also called free skate or FS. It was the Moulin Rouge program but without the vocals, as it wasn't allowed in competition. I managed to have a clean skate as I did all my spins and jumps.

Once again, I was met with enthusiastic applause. I couldn't help but laugh in exhilaration as adrenaline coursed through my veins ever since my FS started. It didn't help that I could also hear my brothers cheering my name in manly-man voices.

I bowed once again to the crowd exciting them into another applause before I glided towards the entrance of the rink to meet my coach. We hugged each other before going to the bench area. It's not the typical Kiss & Cry that was on televised international competitions. It was really just the benches beside the locker area where I usually hang out.

I was in first place in the SP.

My scores were announced and the crowd cheered again.

I was also in first place in the FS.

Making it an overall first place for me.

Later on, I was standing on an elevated stadium with a gold medal hanging around my neck and a small bouquet of flowers in my hands. The silver and bronze medalists were beside me. We all smiled as flashes from the cameras surrounded us.

Finally, I was released from the clutches of the event coordinators.

"You were so awesome!" Kuya Gabby exclaimed.

"Congratulations!" Kuya Matt grinned at me.

Both of them simultaneously engulfed me in bear hugs.

"I'm so proud of you." Dad hugged me tightly before letting my mom man-handle me into a hug, squeezing me in a slightly painful yet comforting manner.

"I just knew you could do it." Mom held on for a few moments before finally letting me go.

"Are you crying?" I laughingly asked her.

"No!" Mom frowned, rapidly blinking her eyes. "Stop imagining things!"

Dad laughed at her causing Mom to jab him on the side with her elbow. My dad embraced her in return and kissed the side of her head.

I couldn't help but smile at the sight of them. My parents were so sweet. I wish I could have a life like that in the future.

*****

After my victory in the basic novice division, it was like some intense fire awoke inside of me.

Coach Edmund was right. There's a massive difference between skating casually against skating competitively.

I upped my practice with my coach. In the Philippines, coaches or assistant coaches could be hired for thirty minutes, and it cost around a hundred and fifty pesos. I usually hire Coach Edmund for an hour every day back before I was skating casually. I begged my parents to lengthen my time with him. I really wanted to improve my skills.

I was alright when it came to my step sequence and spins. However, my jumps, especially my Axel and doubles, were shaky at best.

A few months later, I hit a huge roadblock in my progress.

Due to some bargain sites in the internet advertising ice skating entrance coupons, people could get an entrance pass by paying half the price. The consequence of that was that the rink was always, and I meant always, full of people. So much, that I couldn't practice properly.

I couldn't even do my steps without stopping every few feet since guest skaters were fumbling around in my way. Let alone spins or jumps.

I sighed in frustration as I was forced to stop again.

Usually, my coach would place yellow cones in the corner of the rink to give me some space to practice. However, some guest skaters kept on coming in and out of my already small practice area, subsequently disrupting me.

That little space in the rink... I couldn't even do jumps, which was the element that I badly needed to improve. My time with my coach was also dwindling as the coaches and assistant coaches were hired in a first come first serve basis. I knew that he wanted to teach me, but it's the mall's policy to abide by that rule.

I stopped as another guest skater obstructed my way. I sighed again before heading to the lockers. I wasn't going to be able to practice anymore at this point.

Sometime later, my driver picked me up and we went home.

When I was lying down on my bed, I watched the video again on my phone.

I wondered how much MMH improved.

I tried searching for him online and to no avail. I couldn't exactly type Mushroom-Haired Boy Figure Skater Japan Jingu Competition now, could I?

Well, I did. No searches were found.

I didn't even know what rank he placed in. But I'm pretty sure he was placed first or at least stood at the podium as he skated clean.

It became my routine to watch this blurry recorded video of MMH whenever I'm down in the dumps when it came to my skate. It might sound creepy to other people thinking that a fourteen-year-old teenage girl repeatedly watched the video of an eight - or ten - year old boy.

...

Well, it did sound creepy.

But I would vehemently deny anything like that. I watched this video to remind me that if a young boy with weird mushroom-hair could do it, then I could do it as well.

The video finished.

I saw on my phone that it was already November 12.

Wow, it had been a year since I started figure skating. I had been to many ups and downs. I couldn't help but laugh as I remembered my first month trying the sport. I was not kidding when I said that I sucked at balancing.

Fortunately, once I got rid of my fear of falling due to my repeated falls in the first few weeks, I strengthened my determination and was able to learn how to properly glide without support.

I placed my phone on the bedside table to charge it. For a moment or so, I sat on my bed in a contemplative manner, before I then got up and went to my parents' room.

Knocking on the door, I waited for their reply.

"Come in," Mom called out.

I went inside and closed the door behind me. My parents were in their pajamas watching television.

"Yes, honey?"

I sat on the chair by the desk before looking down at my hands.

"..."

My dad lowered the sound of the TV as both of them looked at me.

"What's wrong?" Dad asked.

I sighed again, clutching my hands together.

The topic that I was going to bring up... I had already thought about it for a month now. It was at the corner of my mind ever since my practice was repeatedly hindered.

"I really want to be a good skater," I began, still looking down.

My parents looked at each other before turning to face me again.

"Yes, and you are." Dad was pretty confused.

"But I'm not good enough." I shook my head.

"Ela, of course you are, you won that competition."

"Ma, that's only the basic novice. There are plenty of skaters my age who are way better than me."

"Yes, of course, but that's only typical Ela," Dad said, slowly. "It's a wide world out there."

"I know." I finally looked up, seriously gazing at them. "But I want to be better. I want to be better at skating. I want to be better than anybody else."

My parents stayed silent. I guess they were surprised at my wordings or confused on what exactly I'm trying to point out.

I continued.

"You were right, Ma. Remember, when you told me that I would regret it if I didn't do something when I should have done it? To live life to the fullest? That I couldn't take back the years if I hesitated?"

"You said that I was only thirteen at that time in my life. Well, I'm only fourteen now at this time of my life as well. And I don't want to regret it."

"When I joined that competition... a fire began to burn inside me. It was exhilarating. I worked hard in practice. I want to improve my steps. I want to make my spins faster. I want to land my jumps properly. I want to skate in that kind of atmosphere again."

"I want to be the best in figure skating."

...

"But, it would be too difficult for me to do that here... in the Philippines."

...

"What do you mean, Elana?" Dad asked. "Weren't you practicing for hours daily?"

I sighed before I told them my situation at the skating arena. About how I wasn't able to practice properly, or how I didn't even have enough space in the rink.

"Wait, wait," Mom interrupted, furrowing her brows. "Let me get this straight. What you're actually saying is that you want to practice abroad. In another country. Is that what you're saying?"

"Yes," I mumbled.

"What? What about your school?" Mom protested, immediately.

I didn't reply as I didn't really know what to say.

"I know you're passionate about your sport, Elana. But education is very important," Mom stressed, looking at me intently.

"I-I can still do school. I can manage it." I fumbled awkwardly.

"How? You're in another country. How exactly can you attend school in the Philippines when you're in another country?" Mom raised her brow at me.

I opened my mouth but closed it again as I really didn't have a reply.

It was frustrating. Mom was right, education was very important. But so was figure skating. I sincerely loved figure skating. It's my passion. My vocation.

Clutching my hands together, I sat there conflicted as my parents stared at me.

"How about..." Dad started, catching our attention. "How about we go to another country this December? I mean, maybe, Japan or Korea? I heard that there were skating clubs there that is exclusive for figure skaters?"

Mom and I started in surprise.

"Rick."

"It's fine, Leia." Dad draped an arm across Mom's shoulders. "The kid is obviously very passionate about skating."

"But. School," Mom let out.

"Yes, school is very important, and I'm sure Elana understands that, right Elana?" Dad raised his brows at me.

"Yes. Totally," I immediately agreed.

"And, it's nearing Christmas break. When's your Christmas break, Ela?"

"It starts on December 5, and I know classes resume at January 4."

"Look, a whole month." Dad grinned at my mom.

"A whole month," Mom slowly articulated. "The kids may be free from school, but we do have work you know."

"Babe, it's our company. A phone convo will do, and if we're really needed at the office then we could alternate. Besides, I don't think Gab or Matt would want to stay abroad for a whole month. One of us needs to be here at some point."

Mom still didn't look convinced.

"If I didn't see just how serious our kid was about this, I myself would've dismissed the idea. But our daughter has talent. She can excel in this, I know it. and I want to support her all the way through," Dad said to my mom.

Mom's face softened and stayed quiet for a few moments.

"I know." Mom sighed resignedly, before looking at me. "Search for skating clubs. But only in Asia. The nearer the better."

I was stunned. I was actually expecting to be refused point blank.

"Seriously!" I squealed.

If someone would've asked me about this later, I would say that I just let out a high pitched sound. Elana Ferrer does not squeal.

"Go. Now," Mom commanded, imperiously waving me away.

I couldn't but let out a high pitched sound again before bear-hugging both my parents.

"Take this seriously, you hear," Mom warned me. "We're only allowing you because you're so serious about this. Think of it as a trial period."

"I know. I know. I will. Thank you!"

I bolted out of the room before they could change their mind.

*****

"You got everything with you?" Mom asked. She was wearing a thick black jacket with matching scarf.

December weather in Japan was legit cold. It wasn't snowing yet though. I could only hazard a guess how freezing it would be if it did snow.

"Yep," I replied, holding up my duffel bag on my shoulders.

"Ok, let's go."

Mom went inside the huge building but I stayed put for a while as I gazed at what my skating home in Nagoya would be for this December.

And hopefully, for many more years to come.

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..........M.E.R.I.D.I.A.N......L.I.G.H.T.S..........

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(Guess who's Elana's gonna meet. (ﾉ◕ヮ◕)ﾉ*:･ﾟ✧ )