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..........M.E.R.I.D.I.A.N......L.I.G.H.T.S..........

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February 23, 2010

https://youtu.be/TJgO1O_jd5g

(SP - Nathan Lanier's Time)

I got into center ice, stretched out my arms and held my pose.

Then the music began.

Something felt off. I first noticed it when I did my initial crossover.

Maybe it was the nerves due to competing at such a high-level event. Or, maybe it was the immense pressure I felt from having my whole country's expectation placed on my feeble shoulders.

And what a heavy expectation it was. I was the only athlete that represented the Philippines in this year's Olympics.

Triple Salchow.

Bam!

I fell heavily on the ice, successfully knocking my breath away.

Quickly, I got up and proceeded with the program, ignoring my aching chest. I coughed several times as I tried to get my breathing into order.

My mind began to doubt as countless worries slithered in my thoughts.

Relax, Elana.

Relax.

I forced myself to calm down whilst doing my combination spins.

Gliding gracefully around, I vaguely heard the supportive sounds from the audience. Oddly enough, It was like I was in a bubble and the sound was muffled and distorted.

I discarded the distractions from my mind as I proceeded with my step sequence. Every turn I made emitted precision and confidence as I geared myself to the next phase.

Triple flip, triple toe combination.

Excitement rippled through the audience as I successfully landed the jumps in succession.

My passionate dancing led everyone to watch the story I was portraying. The story of a puppet breaking its chain-like strings to form a revolution. In every program I choreographed, I strove to form a story within the dance. I opted to build stories in my programs so that I could easily visualize my character and properly interpret it to the general public.

Triple Axel.

I landed it perfectly.

The crowd went wild as I did. Finally, I entered the last phase of my program.

My movements consisted of unconcealed zeal as the program reached the climax. My last combination spin was done in a swift and decisive manner as I curved and bent my body in different positions before I finally ended in a beautiful Beillmann spin.

I finally stopped and held my pose, and was then met with the enthusiastic applause of the people.

...

"Elana Ferrer from the Philippines has earned in the short program, 52.08 points and is currently in 11th place."

...

I was placed 19th by the time the ladies' short program ended.

*****

"How's your day? Training?" Yuzuru's voice sounded. His ever-deepening voice startled me at times. It was a constant reminder that the bratty kid that I knew for years was well on his way to becoming a full-grown man.

"Good so far. We're at the site now." I squished my phone between my ear and shoulders as I tried to chat with him whilst tying on my shoelaces. "But only on the ground, I just used up my ice time days ago."

"I watched your short. Nice Axel."

"Ugh, how?"

"It's the Olympics." I could hear the smirk on his voice. "Plenty of videos floating around the net. Wasn't able to stream it live though. Coach Nanami's working me down the ground."

"She's doing it right. Someone's gotta tame and drag you to practice every now and then."

Of course, I jest.

If someone heard me telling that to Yuzuru, of all people, I feared that they would label me as insane and ship me into the nearest institution. Anyone who knew Yuzuru personally would know that he's a training demon.

Yes, due to his asthma, school, and, basically, life, his training was cut down to an average of only two hours per session. But just how many times does he train in a week? That's the vital question here.

I groaned audibly as I remembered that I was practically visible to the whole world. Or, at least to those people who cared enough to focus on the figure skating Olympics... which was practically one of the most popular events in the Winter Olympics.

Yeah, I wasn't getting out on this one.

I heard Yuzuru laughing on the other side of the line. He knew how averse I was to the media. Sure, I did photoshoots, interviews, and competitions.

Still, it was kind of weird to see my face on television or where else.

"That's embarrassing. Now everyone can analyze how my face smacked down the ice," I said, dryly. "Damn Salchow."

"It wasn't that bad," his amused voice replied back, before he questioned, "how is it by the way? Are you hurt?" Concern was predominant on his tone.

"Only my pride."

"Era." He sighed in relief as I replied in the negative. Sarcastic yes, but negative of injuries. "You did great. Sure, the fall was surprising, but you still did great. Don't let anybody, even yourself, tell you otherwise."

I wasn't able to reply to that. I opened my mouth, yet closed it again. This guy could really make a woman speechless whenever he wanted to. A pleasant feeling spread through my chest as I heard those words. I couldn't help but let out a soft, tender smile.

"Thank you, Yuzuru." I bit my lip as I tried to suppress my smile. "I needed that."

A few paces away, I saw Coach Edmund signaling at me.

"Coach's calling."

"Ok, I won't hold you up anymore," he replied warmly. "I know you can do it. Come home soon, I'll treat you to ice cream, or whichever you like."

"Thanks, and I'll remember that. I don't forget free food." I laughed as we said our goodbyes and hanged the phone.

I handed my jacket and duffel bag to Coach Edmund as I readied myself for the day. Placing on my earphones, I played a random upbeat song before I went on ahead and started my training.

I jogged around the practice area in order to condition my body. At the corner of my eyes, I could see Coach Edmund sitting on one of those steel chairs. His arms were crossed as he meticulously watched my progress. I was grateful that he's here to support me, as a coach, as well as a friend.

When I saw my final placement in the short program, I felt crushing defeat.

19th place.

Considering that this was my first senior season, a part of me was glad that I even advanced to the free skate. Nonetheless, I always had that stubborn competitive side.

Seeing my down-trodden appearance, Coach Edmund was quick to encourage me.

"It's too early to give up." Coach Edmund ruffled my hair as he grinned. "We're only halfway through the finish line."

"Still... 19th place, huh..."

"What's so bad about that? 19 is a good number. Just think of it this way, out of billions of people in the world, you're currently ranked 19th from being the best in the ladies figure skating division. What? Cool huh?" Coach Edmund nudged me with his elbow goodnaturedly.

At that time, I just smiled weakly in return.

"Hey, what did I say?" He quirked his lips and winked. "We've talked about it, right? This is your first senior season. Your first time encountering these beasts, ahem, I mean ladies, but still beasts in the figure skating world. The juniors and the seniors are vastly different. You just need some more experience, by then you'll be able to go head to head against the rest."

"Was that supposed to be encouraging? I don't know if I should be offended or not. You just literally implied that I'll be a beast once I gain more experience." I tried to set a deadpanned expression, but my lips betrayed me as I tried hard not to smile.

Snorting in an utterly unladylike manner, I shook my head from the memories as I tried to focus on my training. Coach Edmund was an awkward, silly, yet dependable character, that's for sure.

True, back then, a mix of disappointment and gratefulness assaulted my psyche.

I knew that I wouldn't win gold. Let alone stand on the podium.

It wasn't a pessimistic thought. It's as realistic as it could get. The ladies' division was notoriously known for its clean programs, especially when it came to the medalists.

I made a fatal mistake with that triple Salchow.

If you wanted to medal in the ladies' division, you had to strive for a clean and perfect program. It was competitive because the current figure skaters in my division didn't breach the quads. There wasn't enough technical score to make up for the difference just in case one made a mistake in their jumps.

With everyone doing triples, the main difference was if you could land that triple cleanly or not. That's why even a little mistake in your jump would mean a lot of points lost.

Either way, I was grateful for this opportunity to compete in the Olympics. Even if I knew that it would be a blurry dream to aim for gold in my current place and skills, I would still do my very best in the long program.

I wanted to know how far I could reach with my current state.

*****

February 25, 2010

"Ladies, you have one minute remaining."

I was surprisingly slotted in the last group. I was the first to skate in the last group, thus, opening the last round of battle in this ladies figure skating Olympics.

Wonder why a 19th placer was slotted in the last group together with the high rankers such as Kim Yuna and Asada Mao?

Well, the placings didn't work by ranking so to speak. It's decided by draw lots.

I always had bad luck in draw lots. Or, at least that's what I thought.

Gradually, that kind of thinking began to change years ago.

Think about it.

If I didn't lose against my brother in that particular draw, my family would've gone to Cambodia instead. I would've missed my chance to see a certain mushroom-haired boy skate. Hence, I wouldn't know that I even have a passion for figure skating.

Yet, here I was now, waiting for this practice session to end, and thus, begin the last stretch of my journey in the 2010 Vancouver Olympics.

So many things resulted from one simple coincidence.

That's why this time around, I wasn't quick to judge as I saw the number 19 scrawled out from that little piece of paper. The same number as my rank from the short program.

I smirked to myself as excitement burned through my being.

"Ladies, your warm-up has ended. Please leave the ice."

Finally, the announcer had called out for the rest of the skaters to withdraw from the ice. I was left alone in the rink, standing in front of Coach Edmund on the railings as I did some last minute stretching and mental preparation.

Taking a few slow yet deep breaths, I calmly placed my hand on the railing, lifted up my left foot, then down, lifted up my right foot, then down again. I patted the railing, then bowed to my Coach. I pushed off from the railing, doing a forward crossover as I circled the rink one last time before finally coming to a stop on center ice.

Many skaters had these so-called rituals. They vary from skater to skater.

And this was my own personal ritual.

It wasn't intentional. When I first started competing locally, I just instinctively did the ritual. I guess I was too nervous at that time as it was my first time being watched by so many people, so I just did these moves suddenly and awkwardly to relieve some of the anxiety.

From then on, it became a habit. Somehow, It didn't feel right whenever I didn't do my personal ritual. I tried to avoid those situations.

"Representing Philippines, Elana Ferrer."

The crowd burst into excited cheers as I readied my pose.

https://youtu.be/F1ctv7Thtw4

(FS - Itzhak Perlman's Por una Cabeza) 

I didn't know what possessed me as I went through the motions of my program.

Elegance and pride mixed together as a woven dance began to unravel.

Triple loop.

Triple toe, Double loop combination.

Landing the jumps with such swiftness that speckles of ice floated in the air, my body swayed similar to that of innocence and courtship. My hand reached out and gently caressed an imaginary suitor.

Triple flip.

Triple Loop.

I entered my initial combination spin with swiftness and precision, showing the moves and ending it in the same manner. The Beillmann spin at the end added a nice touch before I pivoted and proceeded with the rest of the choreography.

Triple Salchow, triple Lutz combination in a Rippon variation.

I glided enchantingly on the ice as I portrayed the scene that played out in my mind. The audience was enthralled at my ever-impassioned dance.

Triple Salchow, double toe combination.

Triple Axel.

I didn't notice as the crowd cheered even more loudly as I was too lost in the trappings of my program. Specks of ice flew as my step sequence became more rapid, swift, and unpredictable. Slowly and surely elevating it to Level 4.

Gliding in beautiful yet small circles, I performed an Ina Bauer prompting a new round of excited cheers from the crowd. The climax of the program had started and ended with my final combination spin. The music began to fade just as I spun slowly and held my final pose.

The stadium burst into enormous applause as plushies and flowers began to rain down the rink. Panting heavily, I bowed down to each side of the audience prompting cheers every time I do so.

...

"Elana Ferrer from the Philippines has earned in the free skate, 135.77 points which is the new seasons best and a personal best. Her total competition score is 188.42 points. She is currently in 1st place."

...

Electricity ran throughout my entire body.

Coach Edmund was right.

19.

It wasn't such a bad number after all.

*****

I didn't win any medal.

I wasn't even able to touch the podium.

In the end, I was placed 6th for this year's Figure Skating Olympics. Even so, I happily cheered along with everyone else at the Victory Ceremony.

Yes, it was depressing at first. But with all the encouragement from the people around me, and also the sheer thought that I went from 19th place down to 6th place?

It was awesome.

Finally, I was reunited with my family. Coach Edmund was thoughtful enough to personally escort me to where my family was in the stands. Hugs and kisses were thrown into the mix before we settled down to watch the Victory Ceremony.

The winners were announced one after another to get on the podium. The winner's anthem played out, this time it was South Korea's anthem as Kim Yuna had won this year's Olympics with world breaking scores. Thereafter, the winners just skated around the ice, taking commemorative pictures and the like.

Laughing out loud, I watched humorously as my brothers draped their arm around my mother, who's standing between them waving around a large Philippine flag banner in her hands, and swayed as a group.

My hair was ruffled, successfully messing the perfectly designed style. For once, I didn't care as I shared a smile with my Dad. 

"I've said it before, and I'll say it again. No doubt, I will say it countless times in the future as well. I'm so proud of you *Anak." Amidst the sea of crowd, my dad brought me in for a tight comforting hug.

"Thanks, Dad. I love you."

That particular kind of warmth that only a parent could give to their child settled deep within my chest had subsequently helped erase the lingering disappointment and regret.

"I love you too, Anak."

*****

The Philippine media went wild on my performance in the 2010 Vancouver Olympics.

From Junior to Senior.

From 19th to 6th.

It was like a Cinderella story with a slightly happy yet also bittersweet ending.

A perfect, dramatic rise with a twist in the end.

Televisions contained countless reports, newspapers posted my face on the front page, magazines used my old shoots as their cover. Most of all, the internet. It burned wild with countless articles and forum threads. Videos of my programs, both new and old, being shared here and there.

It was insane.

This went on for a few weeks as I juggled my time between public functions where I was commemorated or given honorary trophies, interviews where I was grilled with whatever stereotypical questions the hosts had prepared, and countless offers for advertisements, in which I had to push back the majority as I was too tired from it all.

Pushed back since my initial rejections were met with countless counter-offers.

I reject the advert proposal, they just place a higher amount.

Finally, enough was enough.

"Save me," I pleaded.

"I already booked your ticket." Yuzuru laughed loudly before lowering his voice in a tender tone. 

"Era," Yuzuru said softly in a comfortable manner, "come home."

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..........M.E.R.I.D.I.A.N......L.I.G.H.T.S..........

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Terms:

Anak - Child; Parent or Older person referring to a younger family member

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(If you liked this chapter, please leave a vote and/or a comment, thank you!~)

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