May 12, 2018
I think I might've screwed up...and now I'm scared

Here's why:
So on Thursday, my friend told me that other people have been telling him that my best friend has been talking about me. I asked him what did he say, he told me to promise him that I wouldn't tell my best friend so he told me. I told him that I didn't believe that. So yesterday, I was on the phone with my best friend and I told him what happened. I told him to promise me that he wouldn't tell my friend that I told him. He ended up confronting him about it and now they aren't friends anymore. Now I'm scared about how my friend will react if I see him on Monday....I'm scared that we won't wanna be my friend anymore....I already lost one friend...I don't want to lose another....and if I do lose him, it'll be my fault...just like how I lost my ex best friend....and that was also my fault...yes, my fault. My mom even told me that it was my fault. She did say that some of it was kind of my ex best friend's fault bc she could've handled things differently, but she still said it was my fault...and I agree with her....I agree that it's my fault....but I have to live with it....

I feel like a bad friend...

Maybe I shouldn't have friends...

Maybe I should just be alone....if I have no friends, I can't lose any, right...?