'in a foregin place, the saving grace was the feeling that it was a heart that he was stealing.' - arctic monkeys

it's been a couple of weeks since, the incident. honestly, the days have just jumbled together. i noticed joel is much more talkative and i on the other hand don't talk much. the moment and the feeling of me killing erik and what led up to it just keep repeating in my head. most times i don't hear joel when he's talking to me, i hear that fight echoing in my head. joel says something to me as i sit on the back of the pickup truck while joel looks through the rest of the cars. i turn to face him. "isa. did ya hear me?" joel asks. "no, sorry." i answer jumping down from the back of the truck. "well, i found this in there. beefaroni, chef boyardee." he says holding it up proudly with a smile. "cool." i reply. "have you ever played this?" he asks walking over to me with a box in his hands. "boggle? it's a word game." he says showing it to me. i shake my head. 

"well, if you wanna beat me at somethin' this would be it." he says and i partly smile. it hurts to smile. it hurts to cry. it hurts to do anything. i'm exhausted, my dreams haunt me at night and my memories haunt me during the day. i can't win anymore. "well, alright then. we're getting close. we'll make it to virginia by tonight, maybe bill is holdin' up out there." joel says and i forgot all about our plan. "got it." i say grabbing my bag and following behind him. "they had a guitar in that RV. it was all smashed but it got me thinkin', maybe i should find one. i haven't played in forever. in fact, i was thinkin' i could teach you. i bet you'd be great at it." joel says and i'd like to learn guitar. 

"yeah. sure. i'd like that." i say watching my dirty converse squish all the leaves below me. we walk for a while till we meet the outskirts of a city. the sign we passed said 'welcome to durham'. "okay here's what i'm thinking." joel says. "cut through that building to get around that stuff, find the skyscraper, go up and look around?" i say and he chuckles. "uh, actually, this time i was thinkin' we blast our way through that rubble. i found some dynamite back there." he says and i know he's kidding. joel wouldn't make that loud of an entrance. "seriously?" i ask. "no, so we're gonna cut through that building, find a skyscraper, go up, and look around. but i had you goin' didn't i?" he asks and i just nod my head a bit.

we walk into the building and ladders and tools are everywhere like it was being built when the world fell. "look at this place. talk about bad luck. military drops bombs.. not one of them hits the building you're trying to demolish." joel says peaking up an old elevator shaft. "no way up." he says before walking over to a gated-off area. he pushes open the gate and looks up at a hole in the ceiling. "if i get you up there, maybe you can drop that later down. maybe we go through that way. come on, ill give you a boost." joel says off in the distance as i look at a few old blueprints.

"you okay?" joel asks walking over to me. "yeah, fine." i respond. "you have just been extra quiet lately." he says and i feel bad. "oh, i'm sorry." i say silently cursing at myself for letting joel notice. "no, it's fine. did you hear what i said?" he asks. "yeah, boost. got it." i say following him over to the ladder. he climbs up and helps me boost onto his shoulders. i pull myself up onto the platform and pick up the ladder. i lower it down to joel when something catches my eye. i drop the later. "whoa!" i exclaim dropping the ladder and running off down the hall. "god dammit, isa!" joel shouts as i run up the stairs. "you gotta see this!" i shout. "isa!?" joel calls out. "up here!" i answer from the floor above him. 

"isa." he says. "come one!" i shout running through the hallways. i jump up the stairs and see the giraffe i spotted eating some leaves right in front of me. joel walks up behind me and the giraffe looks up. "don't scare it." i say softly. "i won't." joel replies ripping off some leaves and handing them to me. the giraffe walks over and eats the leaves straight from my hand. it's tongue tickles my hand and i laugh. joel hands me more and i watch the giraffe eat it as soon as i grab it. i can feel my smile growing bigger as it sticks it's tongue out at me. "so fucking cool." i say as we watch the giraffe walk off. "hey come back." i say running down the hall to another room to get a better look. joel follows and we watch as 6 giraffe's all run off into the city. 

"so, is it everything you hoped for?" joel asks and i laugh when i remember he said that to me on the roof after we escaped the museum. "it's got its ups and downs, but man. you can't deny that view." i respond and joel smiles. "look, i don't know what's going to happen to me when i get back to the qz." he says. "you'll be okay." i answer. "sure. it's just, the stuff tess and i did, they don't treat it lightly." he says. "i bet you'll just have to pay them paid somehow. i don't know." i say. "i'm just saying there is a risk. we don't have to go up the coast if you don't want to." he says and i can tell that if he were to go back there, they'd kill him. "joel, we can go whatever you want. i'll follow you anywhere." i say. "come on." i add jumping down the steps back to the main road. 

we walk through a tunnel and i see some camp set up ahead.  "was this a FEDRA thing?" i ask and joel shakes his head. "army. they put these places up all around the first few days after the outbreak. emergency medical camps. obviously didn't last. they had me in one just like this." he says. "with your daughter?" i ask. "no, she was already gone. " he answers. "what was wrong with you?" i ask and he points to his head. "it was for this. guy shot me and missed." he says explaining a scar on his face i've wondered about before. "i figured that happened later." i say. 

"nope, second day." he says. "well, i gotta hand it to the army people. they did a better job at stitching you up than i did." i say noticing joel stop behind me. "it was me. i was the guy that shot and missed." he says and i stop to face him. he sits down on a cement block and i sit next to him. "there's no story. sarah died.. and i couldn't see the point of living anymore. simple as that, and i wasn't scared either. i was ready. i couldn't have been more ready. when i went to pull the trigger, i flinched. still don't know why. anyway, the reason i'm telling you this-" he explains and i cut him off. 

"i know why you're telling me this." i say. "yeah, i reckon you do." he adds. "so time heals all wounds, huh." i ask him. "it wasn't time that did it." he says and i realize what he's saying. "well, i'm glad that..you flinched." i say. "me, too." joel sniffles. "we should probably get going." i say standing up behind joel. "you know what i'm in the mood for?" he says. "what?' i ask. "shitty puns." he answers. i laugh and pull out the joke book i found a couple of weeks ago. "people are making apocalypse jokes like there's no tomorrow." i say and joel looks at me. "too soon?" i ask and he laughs. "no, it's topical." he says. "oh, i love this one! moon rocks taste better than earth rocks. why?" i read. "cause they're meteor." i add with a laugh. "oh, that's terrible." joel laughs. 

"no, fuck you that one was actually good." i say with a smile. "that's a 0 out of 10." he adds. "all right. what did the green grape say to the purple grape?" i ask and he looks at me. "breathe, you idiot." i say. "that was a 3 out of 10." joel says. "seven, minimum." i bargain. "okay, i'll give it a five. 5 out of 10." he replies. "five?" i exclaim and a weak sizzling catches my attention. joel grabs me and we both fall to the ground as a loud bomb fills the air. my ears ring and i see joel get pulled away in the fog before i pass out. 

i wake up to arguing and my ears ringing. i sit up and see joel arguing with a man. i go to sit up and my arm is handcuffed to a pipe. "joel!" i screech. "turn around and get on your knees." the man says pointing his gun at joel. "anything bleeding? if i see as much as a twitch i'm kicking you both out." the man says. i pull at the pipe and it eventually breaks so i hit the man with it.  joel grabs the pipe and holds me back. "son of a bitch!" the man shouts. "bill, you done?" joel asks him and he mumbles as he rubs his shoulder. "am i done? you come into my camp, you set off all my traps, you damn near break my shootin' arm. who the fuck is this punk?" bill asks joel.

"i am none of your goddamn business, and we're here because you owe tess some favors and you can start by taking these off!" i shout dangling the handcuffs in his face. "i owe tess some favors is this a joke?" bill repeats. "look, i'll cut to the chase. tess got bit. we needed to get to boston but at this point, it would do us more harm than good." joel explains. "you're damn right it would do you more harm than good. you're the most wanted man in the whole city of boston. goin' back there would be a death wish. might as well just shoot yourself here." bill says sitting down at his table. 

"look we just need a car." joel says. "what makes you think i would just give you a car? if i had one that is." he says. "you don't have a car?" joel asks not believing him. "nope." bill answers. "but you do have parts. i know you do." joel adds. "parts. i have parts." bill explains. "meaning you could fix one up." joel says. "alright. but after this, i owe you nothing." bill says pulling out a map. "if we're gonna do this there is some gear i'm gonna need. it's on the other side of town. you help me get it and maybe, i can put together something that runs. you stay on my ass the whole camp is boobie trapped." bill says. "won't be hard to miss." i mutter and joel gives me a look so i shrug. 

"alright, grab whatever supplies you need." bill says so i wander off to his gun collection. i slip one in my bag and grab some food for the trip. joel wanders around for a bit picking things up and shoving them in his bag. we follow bill through an old bar and out into the streets. "so where are we goin' bill?" joel asks as we creep around the empty street. "my other safe house. more of an armory." bill explains. "wait, i thought we were gonna build a car?" i ask. 
we? do you know how to fix a car?" bill laughs. "bill." joel says sternly. "it's like i said, what i need is on the other side of town. i don't ever go over to that side cause it's filled with infected. so we're going to need guns." bill adds.

some grunting and groaning get my attention and joel sticks his arm out to block me from walking further. "oh, i've been meaning to take care of that. don't worry he can't get ya." bill says turning the corner and stabbing the infected in the head. it dangles in between two blocks of cement. we follow bill out into a cleared area of the town and off in the distance i notice a group of infected huddled together. "joel." i say quietly as bill rambles on ahead of us. "joel." i say again as one looks up at us. "go! run!" bill shouts as we chase after him. the two help me over a fence quickly before jumping over after me. i look back and the infected growl and screech at us through the fence. 

"you sure picked the shittest place to hold up here, huh?" joel says and bill laughs. "you know, as bad as those things are, at least their predictable. it's the people that scare me." i say. "i'll second that." bill says as we approach a house. "you sure that fence and gate are gonna hold them?" joel asks. "well i locked it. they don't have a key." bill replies. i quietly follow joel hoping to sneak past any more infected. we go through a couple of houses till bill stops at one with a cellar outside. he and joel open the doors and climb in as i follow. "you. don't touch anything." bill says to me and i raise my hands up in the air. "and you, close the door." bill adds and joel turns and slams shut the doors. 

"let's gear up." bill says turning on a lantern sitting on a crate. joel and bill walk off to grab some guns and i move around some papers reading a few maps and letters. "hey! what did i say when we walked down the steps?!" bill shouts over at me. "i'm just fixing your stupid pile!" i shout back. "don't touch!" bill says enunciating his words. i flip him off and he mumbles and turns back to joel. "okay. let's go." joel says swinging a shotgun on his back. "kid, i swear to god. if you took anything." bill says opening the hatch. "i don't need any of your shit." i respond jumping out as the doors slam behind me. 

"joel, you are keeping an eye on her, right?" bill says. "like a hawk." he mumbles as he fiddles with his gun. we follow bill down the streets and up some hills till we make it to another run-down neighbourhood. he takes us into the very last house on the street which is very boarded up. "you live here too?" i ask recalling the boarded-up windows and bookcases in front of the doors. "no." bill replies shortly. "take what you want. this poor son of a bitch won't need it." bill adds waving to a body hanging from the ceiling i gasp and carefully walk around it picking up a sweater and some socks. 

i go through the house looking for anything i can take. i found some toilet paper upstairs, some clothes for joel and i, and even a comic that i haven't read yet. back before the outbreak, zee had millions. he loved them, especially the batman ones. i stuffed the goods in my bag and follow joel's voice out into the garage. a truck sits in the middle of it and bill is working on the hood. "all right. should be good to drive." he says shutting the hood and wiping his hands on his pants. "thank you, bill." joel says holding out his hand for a handshake. "don't let me catch you two sneaking around my camp again." he says shaking joel's hand as i hop in the front seat. 

joel opens the car door and throws his bag and coat in the back before starting up the truck. bill opens the garage door for us and joel sighs. "ready?" he asks. "ready." i reply. 

.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。.

i felt like there wasn't enough between alexandria and meeting joel so i stuck some new things in there along with this extra chapter!

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