"all this running around bearing down on my shoulders." - tame impala

as i shuffle quietly down the hall my foot hits something lying on the floor. i squint, thinking it's more wood but as i look closer it's a bat, negan's bat. i chuckle as i pick it up, putting away my knives. it's covered in guts, asking hanging from the wire. i rest it on my shoulder as i start back down the hall. "what you have..that was never gonna last. sooner or later, you were gonna meet people like us. you can't save me, or my people, or even yours. you can't save anyone because you don't care about anyone. you use people to bring food..to sleep with you..to protect you. the only thing you care about is this stupid bat." i say pouring some of my extra gas on it. "you can't even save that." i chuckle. "i'll make you a deal. i'll let you kiss her goodbye." i add. "don't you touch her!" he shouts. 

i flick my lighter on and the bat lights up in flames. "come and get her." i say as the flames wave in front of me. i hit the door, holding the walkers, as hard as i can with the bat. the wood starts to crack and negan runs around the corner tackling me into the room full of the dead. we tumble out onto the dusty floor, the bat lighting up the decaying faces standing above us. i grab the bat and scramble to my feet. i hit negan on the shoulder with the burning bat and he groans in pain as a walker grabs my shoulder. i push it off of me and hit it over the head with the bat, spraying blood all over me. 

"get your hands off her." negan says through his teeth. i swing at him but he manages to wiggle away. i spin around trying to whack him as he runs away from walkers. two stand up from the ground, covered in flames. more walkers come in through the door and growl at us. "goddamn psychopath, you're gonna kill us both." negan says from out of my sight. "long as it's you first." i reply hitting another walker down. negan runs up and tackles me again, fighting me for the burning bat. i push him off me and he jumps up grabbing the bat from the ground. i chase after him, knocking him into a window. it shatters letting a ray of light in. i stab a few walkers in the head as they gather around us. 

i watch out of the corner of my eye as negan jumps out the window. i push through the crowd of the dead, following him. smoke follows behind me as i get out into the sun. i look around scanning the parking lot for negan but i see no sign of him. "fuck." i say out of breath setting a hand on my stomach to catch my breath. 

⋇⋆✦⋆⋇

i set down packages of gauze on the shelves, unloading pills, and more first aid kits daryl and some others have picked up on the last few runs. i stuff some things into duffel bags, getting things ready to bring over to hillop. alexadnria is quiet today, empty. the door opens and i expect it to be daryl getting me to go. "i'll be right there." i say and i hear someone clear their throat. i turn around and see siddiq standing there awkwardly. "i brought more towels." he mumbles setting them on the bed. "not there. they go in that cupboard." i say sternly. "what'd you say your specialty was anyways?" i ask getting annoyed already. "i was a second-year EM resident at-" he says and i cut him off. he has more experience than i do in this, i learned from a textbook a few months ago. i can't let him know that though, i hate this guy. 

"so you never performed surgery?" i ask with a small chuckle. "three times." he barks. "amputations?" i ask. "no but i can figure it out." he replies. "are you even strong enough to hold someone down who hasn't been drugged?" i ask, purposely harassing him with questions. "i can figure it out." he says exhaling sharply. "can you even shoot a gun?" i ask a little louder, trailing from the medical topic. "more importantly, can you shoot a gun while holding someone down?" i add. "i'm pretty sure i know enough to-" he says and i chuckle. "really?" i ask turning back to the shelves. "cause it sounds to me like you don't know shit about shit." i say. "there's a lot i haven't done, i know that, but from my first day at the hospital to this moment now, all i've done are things i've never done." he says sternly.

"people are coming, right now, to hurt hilltop and i'm standing here ready to help. so stop asking me what i've done and start telling me what to do besides where to put the damn towels." siddiq argues and i look at him blankly. "grab the shit, let's go." i say grabbing a backpack and a couple of bags before walking out of the infirmary and to the car out front. siddiq follows and closes the trunk before getting in the passenger's seat. daryl walks up and climbs into the back, tossing me a granola bar. i start up the car and drive through the front gate and down the road toward hilltop.

the car ride is quiet, not awkward silence, just silence. "here." daryl says roughly handing me his canteen. i take a sip before shoving it in siddiq's lap. "drink." i add not taking my eyes away from the road. he takes a sip and hands it back to daryl. the breaks squeel as i pull into hilltop, the gate closing behind us. siddiq and i unload the bags into the medical trailer without any words. the sun starts to set and i finish unpacking the last bag. without saying anything i walk out of the trailer, pulling a cigarette out of my back pocket and lighting it. daryl walks up to me and sticks his hand out. i hand him one and he lights it with his lighter. i blow out smoke into the pink and orange sky as hilltop lines up cars along the pathway of the gate. 

"i'm leavin'." daryl says taking a puff. "'kay." i reply. "watch yourself with these saviors." he adds. "always do." i answer vaguely and he deeply exhales smoke out. the night sky swallows us whole, faster than i anticipated. our advantage of high lookouts and daylight has withered. i stand next to maggie on the porch as we overlook the hilltop. cars sit randomly throughout the grass, making places to hide in the moment of gunfire. people stand around, holding guns almost half the size of themselves. all is quiet as we wait for any sign of the saviors arrival. crickets chirp in the bushes, leaving us with a deep feeling of ominousness. 

suddenly lights shine up against our walls, blinding me at the change in adaptation. jerry waves his arm, signalling we are no longer alone. maggie lets out a sharp sigh before turning to face the front door. "here we go." she whispers. the trucks come to a stop as their breaks sequel. "negan, i want to talk to negan." maggie says into her walkie. "well, hello there. you are speaking to negan, but my birth certificate says simon. with whom do i have the distinct displeasure of speaking with?" simon replies. "maggie. maggie rhee. the widow." maggie says with disgust directed to the name they call her. 

"well, then. hello again, widow rhee, and allow me to offer my condolences. for what's happened and what's about to happen. in case it's not already plain as hilltop's potatoes, yours is truly speaking on behalf of negan this go 'round. and i assure you the man himself received your care package next day delivery. i noticed it was the box that i gave you in good faith- trick's on me. but the bill's come due and you and your people are gonna have to pay. quite dearly i'm afraid." simon explains.

"your 38 people are alive and breathing. turn around and leave us be, and they stay that way. but if you don't, i have 38 bullets that i will personally fire into all 38." maggie says as diane leads the group of saviors out of the house and onto the porch with us. maggie lifts the walkie to a guy, possibly around the same age as i, and he speaks into it. "it's too nice of a night to spend it dyin' slow, don't you think, simon?" he asks. "how's this gonna go?" maggie adds. "well, maggie rhee, this is highly regrettable but the way i see it, the saviors you're in possession of there, are damaged goods." simon says and i scoff. of course, he won't take them back. he is too blinded by the thought of negan dead he is the leader, he just wants the power to take us all out. simon doesn't give a shit about anyone but himself and it's gonna get him killed and if it isn't us who does it, negan will.

"you know, they have gotten themselves into their own pickle, and this organization prizes those who, a, avoid capture and, b, figure out their own shit when said outcome eventuates. which, in the end, is my way of saying screw them." he answers and the walkie clicks off. "did you really think that cockamamie play would work?" gregory asks maggie as he stands there, tied up with the saviors. "it will." maggie replies, staring off at the front gate. a moment of silence passes, calmness if you will. the rumbling of daryl's motorcycle hums through the dark trees, gunshots ring through the air at the saviors. 

kal and a few others pull the gate open for daryl to come in, just as we expected the saviors drive on in too. our people send one of our school buses right in front of the saviors car as they drive in, blocking their trucks. "now!" maggie shouts and our people pop out from every corner, shooting at the loose saviors. glass shatters and people grunt and cry as our bullets hit them, knocking them to the ground. i stand alongside maggie on the porch, watching the flashes of the guns light up the cold night. suddenly, a small group of saviors stand up from the back of the trucks, shooting arrows at us. one hits me in the side as a few hit the saviors, knocking them to the ground. 

maggie crouches and pushes me inside the house. "take the prisoners to my office, hold them there till this is done." maggie says to dianne who then rounds all the breathing saviors up and leads them to maggie's office. maggie rips through the drawers of the house looking for anything to wrap my side. "maggie." i say watching the blood drip from the hole. "wait here." she says running upstairs, then coming back down with my bag. she scatters all the things around and looks at me, waiting for me to tell her what to do. 

"rip it out, you have to take it out." i groan, laying on the carpet of the house. her breath shudders as she grips her fist around the arrow. "i'm good, do it." i say clenching my fists. quickly, she rips the arrow from my side and i can't help but scream. the pain is unimaginable, worse than when i was shot. with shaky hands i grab gause and stuff my wound with it, then wrap it tight with a bandage. maggie kneels there, cautiously looking back at the front door and then back at me. "help me up." i say, hoping to get back out there. "no, you need to sit." she says sternly. "i'm okay, maggie." i say wincing as she stands me up. 

instead of taking me back outside we both stumble up the staircase. she opens to door to our room and lays me down on the bed. "go, i'm okay." i say, wheezing a bit. i'm not lying, i should be fine. nothing major was punctured, i'm not still bleeding profusely. "are you sure?" she asks. "positive, go help." i say sitting up a bit. she nods and walks out, latching the door behind her. as soon as she leaves in grunt. it burns to move, feels like someone is repeatedly stabbing me. i look at the wound and notice it's way higher than my stomach, more by my lungs. relief washes over me and i sigh, that burns too.

hours pass and the gunfire softens as the sun comes up. i look over at the clock and see the red numbers shining back at me. my headaches and sweat drenches my clothes. the door opens and daryl walks in with maggie behind him. "just a scratch, don't look at me like that." i say and my voice sounds weaker than it usually does. he looks at me with a different expression as he cautiously walks over and rests a hand on my forehead. "you've got a fever kid." he says and i shake my head. "no i don't. i can't." i say hoping he isn't saying what i think he's saying. 

"are you bit?" he asks roughly. "no." i answer confidently. "it could be infection, bacterial." i mumble. "i can check her for bites." maggie says and daryl nods as he steps out, closing the door shut behind him. "i'm not bit." i say standing up with her help. she scans my legs and as i told them, nothing. i take my shirt off and look around in the mirror, turning a full 360, but still nothing. "it's got to be an infection." i say peeling off the bandage from my wound. i look at it in the mirror, black charred skin lines the wound as it weeps. "we'll get siddiq up here, he'll keep monitoring you." maggie says very monotonely. 

"are they all gone?" i ask peering out the window. "they fell back, left. it's over for today." she replies. i sigh and carefully sit back down. "shout if you need one of us, daryl offered to sit outside for a while. we have a lot of cleanups to do out there. i'll be back later." maggie says shutting the door. 

.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。.

i'm back !! this semester has been super ass so i'm so sorry for not being consistent. i have exams then my new semester so hopefully i can get some more chapters out to you all !!