'i can't remember how it feels i reach for me, but i'm not there it's so lonely, but who cares?' - girl in red

"this one." the savior says pointing to rick. "hi, you're rick, right? i'm negan. and i do not appreciate you killing my men. also, when i sent more of my people to kill your people for killing my people, you killed more of my people. not cool. not cool." negan explains. "you have no idea how not cool that shit is, but i think you're gonna be up to speed shortly. yeah, you are so gonna regret crossing me in a few minutes. yes, you are." negan repeats with a grin plastered on his face. rick stares at him with glossy eyes, not speaking a word or even a whimper.

"you see, rick, whatever you do, no matter what, you don't mess with the new world order. and the new world order is this, it's really very simple, so even if you are stupid which you very well may be, you can understand it. you ready? here goes, pay attention." negan says dropping his bat off his shoulder and holding it in rick's face. "give me your shit..or i will kill you. today was career day. we invested a lot so you can know who i am and what i do. you work for me now." negan adds walking up and down the line of us and swinging his bat around next to him. 

the hairs on my arms raise every time we walks by me with that thing. i can see the blood stains imprinted on it. i assume that those pictures from the outpost were done by this bat. negan's boots crunch on the rocky ground which digs into my knees and makes it unbearable to kneel here anymore. slowly, i sit more on my shins, taking the weight off my knees. the cold, midnight wind blows on my face and into my eyes, it makes it harder to keep the tears in. "you have shit, you give it to me. that's your job. now, i know that is a mighty big, nasty pill to swallow, but swallow it you most certainly will. you ruled the roost. you built something. you thought you were safe. i get it. but, the word is out. you are not safe." negan continues and i just pray for this to be over.

i wish i was back at home, in bed with carl, dreaming of long walks by the pond with judith and eating joel's shitty sunday pancakes. i almost smile at the thought of being at home with the people i love but my happiness falls real quickly when i feel the presence of a savior appears behind me. "in fact, you are pegged, more pegged if you don't do what i want. and what i want i half your shit and if that's too much you can make, find, or steal more, and it'll even out sooner or later. this is your way of life now. the more you fight back, the harder it will be." negan explains holding his bat up in the air as he waves his arms around expressively. 

"so, if someone knocks on your door...you let us in. we own that door. you try to stop us and we will knock it down. you understand?" negan asks rick. rick gives no response. "what, no answer?" negan asks cupping his hand around his ear and leaning towards rick. "you don't really think that you were gonna get away with this scot-free, did you? i don't want to kill you people. just want to make that clear from the get-go. i want you to work for me, and you can't do that if you're dead, now can you? i'm not growing a garden." negan says smiling. 

"but you killed my people, a whole damn lot of them. more than i'm comfortable with. and for that, you're gonna pay. so, now..i'm gonna beat the holy hell out of one of you. this- this is lucille, and she is awesome!" negan exclaims, swinging the bat around, grinning at it proudly. "all this, all this is just so we can pick out which one of you gets the honor." he adds looking at each one of us. i shift around again trying to even out the weight and i feel a slight pinch on my leg, i think hard and recall carl slipping a small butterfly knife into my pocket as we left alexandria.

i try not to move much to hopefully hide the bloodstain on my pants so i can keep this knife on me. i watch as negan walks up and down the line of us. joel straightens his posture hoping to look fearless but the look in his eyes says it all, he's horrified, we all are. negan swings the bat back and forth and walks up to me. "lighten up, kid. cry a little, you're starting to freak me out." he says chuckling. i try as hard as i can to keep my face as straight as possible. negan passes by abraham as he puffs out his chest and looks up at negan's face, many here haven't dared to look him in the eye, i on the other hand, that's all i can do. i want him to look into the eyes of the people he's plotting to kill, maybe it will give us a chance. "huh, i gotta shave this shit." negan says scratching his beard, and looking down at abraham. 

"you got one of our guns." negan says walking up to carl. my head feels foggy and i want to jump out of line and end this but if i did, we would all die. i clench my fists hard and take comfort in feeling the ring around my finger. i watch, silently, as negan crouches down- eye level with carl. i could see him tensing up as negan inches closer. "you got a lot of our guns." negan adds. he takes a moment and watches carl's expressions, most likely matching mine. "these two.." negan says smiling and looking over at rick for clarification on his guess of carl and i. "yeah, you two. little future serial killers." negan adds standing up and grinning. he seems to amuse himself with himself quite often.

he slowly walks up to maggie and stops in front of her. "jesus." he hums. "you look shitty. i should just put you out of your misery right now." negan says raising his bat and my heart drops. my hand reaches for the knife before glenn jumping out of line stops me. he screams for negan to leave maggie alone and sobs as the two watch each other sit there in pain. dwight lands a few blows on glenn before negan holds his arm out to get a word in. "nope. nope, get him back in line." negan says shaking his head as dwight drags glenn back to his spot. he laughs at glenn's cries. "all right, listen. don't any of you do that again. i will shut that shit down, no exceptions. first one's free, i get it. it's an emotional moment." negan explains and my mind wanders back to my knife. i feel it in there.

i could easily grab it and end this. negan isn't even looking at me, he is too busy watching glenn. i try to move- i do, but my body freezes. my arms won't budge and my legs definitely won't hold me up. the cold air stiffened me like a statue in a museum. "sucks, doesn't it? the moment you realize you don't know shit." he says looking at rick and then following the line down my way. his eyes lock with mine then he looks one over at joel. "this your kid, right?" negan asks him pointing at me with the bat. he walks closer to me shoving the bat in my face, causing me to look up a little. "this is definitely your kid." he chuckles. 

"just stop this!" rick shouts and negan raises the bat even higher above my head. "don't make me kill the kid!" he shouts back. surprisingly i've managed to refrain from crying, a few tears have slipped here and there but i blame the wind. "i gotta pick somebody. everyone's at the table waiting for me to order!" negan exclaims, again with a smile across his face. he walks up and down the line again looking at everyone. "maybe i should just take these two out, double whammy! one-eyed sheriff and his badass girlfriend." negan exclaims pointing his bat at carl and i. joel fidgets in his spot watching the bat move closer to me. 

negan continues to whistle as he walks up and down the line of us. "i simply cannot decide." he says stroking his chin. he turns around and smiles. "i've got an idea." he adds chuckling at himself. he walks up to rick and points the bat in his face. "eenie." he says moving over to maggie. "meenie." followed by "miney." as he reaches sasha. he continues up and down the line till he gets to the end of the riddle. "my mother..told me..to pick..the very best one." negan says pointing the bat at everyone. "and you." he says in front of carl. "are." he adds standing above joel. "it."

.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。.

well..mb LOL

ik you knew it was coming so don't be too upset, we both expected it.