'life is unfair, kill yourself or get over it.' - black box recorder

the name 'the saviors' hit me like a ton of bricks. i remember so clearly the mangled sign hanging over the old factory erik brought me to. that place is filled with demented people and now they coming back for revenge. "joel, we need to leave." i say grabbing his wrist as we all follow gregory outside. "it's fine." joel says brushing me off. "nathan, what happened to everybody else? where's tim and marsha?" gregory says to a man walking up from the gate. "they're dead." nathan replies walking up to gregory. "negan?" he asks and flashes of that day repeat in my mind as i watch the encounter. 

"we had a deal." gregory adds standing with his hands on his hips. "he said it wasn't enough. was the drop light?" another man, who came with nathan, asks gregory. "no." gregory answers. "they still have craig." a woman adds. "they said they'd keep him alive, return him to us, if i deliver a message to you." nathan says walking closer to gregory. "so tell me." he says and nathan looks down at him. "i'm sorry." nathan says resting a hand on gregory's shoulder. quickly, nathan pulls his knife from his belt and shoves it into gregory's stomach. 

my jaw drops and everyone rushes to help gregory. rick and michonne push away nathan but he screams and throws a punch at rick. my eyes follow rick as he kicks nathan down to the ground and throws some punches. another man runs over to rick and tries to throw him off of nathan. joel rushes over and tackles the guy to the ground but the man manages to wiggle on top of joel and wrap his hands around his neck.

joel's face turns a shade of blue and as quick as i can i pull out my knife and stab the man in the neck causing him to let go of joel and fall to the ground. people scream in terror and i feel eyes watching me from every angle. i drop the knife with a shudder and drop down beside joel to help him up. rick ends up stabbing nathan as well and the townspeople stare at all of us. rick, joel, and i are covered in blood and the people all stare at us in horror. "what?" rick asks nonchalantly, wiping blood from his mouth. "nathan, ethan! you killed them!" the woman cries. "he tried to kill gregory, then us." rick explains looking around at the people. 

she walks up and punches rick in the face but gets tossed on her ass by michonne as soon as rick hits the ground. "drop it now!" cal yells walking up to us with a spear. "i don't think i will." rick answers holding his gun up. "everyone, this is over! it's over. ethan and nathan were our friends but let's not pretend they were anything more than cowards who attacked us. they did this, and these people stopped them." jesus shouts running between rick and cal. "what can i do?" rick asks. "put the gun away. you've done enough. you need to know things aren't as simple as they may seem. just give me some time." jesus answers. the townspeople walk away in horror and our group helps bring gregory to the infirmary.

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the group and i sit out in the living room of the barrington house anxiously waiting for jesus to come out and give us an update. i look everywhere but at anyone's face. the hardwood floor catches my attention and i follow the grains that travel through the wood like snakes. my stomach churns and i blame my lack of food on the nausea. i feel my head just in case i'm getting sick but i feel nothing but my sweaty hairline. jesus's loud footsteps stomp down the stairs and i look up watching him walk over to rick. "dr. carson was able to patch gregory up. he's in pain but he'll live." jesus explains. "so what now?" michonne asks walking up next to rick. "things like that don't usually happen here, but, it's settled." jesus replies. 

"we heard the name negan. a while back, joel and isa had an altercation with his men. who is he?" rick says and i whip my head over to look at joel who shakes his head. i'm hoping that means he didn't share the full truth with rick about what happened inside that factory. i ended up telling joel everything, from how the place smelled to even how many times i remember smashing down on erik's head. i figured telling him would be better than me holding it all in. "negan's the head of a group of people he calls the saviors. as soon as the walls were built, the saviors showed up. they met with gregory on behalf of their boss, two really freaky guys, they made a lot of demands, even more threats. before they left they killed one of us--rory. he was 16 years old." jesus explains and my arms shiver. carl and i are 16, enid not far from, what would happen if they got to alexandria? 

i dealt with a small group of his men and it was like hell on earth, i wonder how evil negan is. "the saviors told us we needed to understand, right off the bat. gregory's not exactly good at confrontation. he's not the leader i would've chosen, but he helped make this place what it is, and the people like him." jesus adds. "he made the deal." maggie interrupts. "half of everything. pur supplies, our crops, our livestock, it goes to the saviors." jesus says. "and what do you get in return?" joel asks. "they don't kill us." jesus answers. "why not just kill them?" daryl asks so unbothered and i almost laugh remembering how many men there were guarding that camp, and i only saw most of the outside. 

"most of the people here don't know how to fight, even if we had ammo." jesus says. "well how many people does negan have?" rick asks. "when i was inside i saw groups as big as 20 men. probably more inside." i say standing up and i can feel everyone's eyes crawling all over me. "hold on, they show up, kill a kid and you give them half of everything? nah, these dicks just got a good story. the boogeyman ain't shit." daryl adds. "how do you know?" jesus asks. "about 2 months ago i took some of his guys out at their fences, and left them in pieces and puddles." joel answers. "you know, we'll do it. if we go get your man back, kill negan, take out his boys, will you hook us up?" daryl asks jesus. "woah, wait a minute." i exclaim standing up but daryl holds his hand out to shush me. "will you?" he repeats. "confrontation's never been an issue for us." rick adds.

"i'll take it to gregory." jesus says before turning to the staircase. "you have no idea what you just signed us all up for. you killed us all." i say looking between rick and daryl. "isa, it may have looked like trouble to you when you were in there but you had shit going on. it sounds like his men are just a bunch of pussies." daryl says and joel stands up next to me looking down at me. "yeah, whatever." i scoff before walking outside to cool off. the door slams behind me and i scan the yard seeing a pen of cows to the left of me. i follow the trail of stones to the fence and reach my hand out to pet a cow. "you know you shouldn't pet cows. they'll bite ya, happened to me at a fair." joel says standing beside me, obviously trying to cheer me up. i ignore him and watch the cow munch on the grass beneath him.

"i know what happened to you was scary but we have the numbers now. maybe taking on this group won't be bad for us who knows? killing negan and his people could benefit us and jesus's people so much, plus you said it yourself negan didn't know about erik's plans. maybe you killed exactly who you needed to kill. negan could be reasonable." joel explains and i shake my head. "you don't know what i went through inside of those walls. i was starved out, touched, teased, and stuck chained up. those people are monsters if they were able to put up with him, going back there is just walking up to death's door. i don't want you all to do it." i say turning to face him. "you need to trust rick. he's been to hell and back. he can get us through this." joel adds. i turn back to the cow and watch it walk away dangling grass from its mouth. 

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the sun started to fall as jesus helped divvy out some food and medicine for us as a down payment. i load a big basket of mangos into the RV as others do the same, taking trips to and from it. the smell of all the fruits makes my stomach twist with nausea and i guess it's been too long since i last ate. i take a mango from the basket and take a bite before walking back up the hill to grab any more baskets for us to take home. "all done for today." rick says walking up to me. "you and joel are our family, and i do everything i can to keep my family safe. these people won't hurt you again, isa. i won't let them." rick says and my eyes sting a little. "thank you, rick." i say giving him a hug. 

i follow rick to the RV and climb in after everyone. maggie sits with glenn at the back holding a sonogram that dr. carson gave them after a check-up on the baby. joel sits with daryl, both staring out the window. i sit down beside maggie and she hands me the picture. "dr. carson said it's a healthy baby, everything looks good." she says with a smile. "do you know if it's a boy or girl?" i ask staring at the small picture in my hands. "no, we won't for a while but i'm guessing boy." maggie says wrapping one arm around my shoulders. "it's definitely a girl." glenn says setting a hand on maggie's small stomach. 

abraham sits across from us cleaning his gun and michonne sits with rick in the front hand in hand. i miss carl. i can't wait to tell him everything that happened today. glenn hands the picture over to joel who looks at it and smiles, he passes it to daryl who then, after a good look at the baby then back at glenn, passes it to abraham. the picture makes its way around the RV and everyone is joyful looking at the new addition to our family.

.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。.

i did 1/3 of my exams today, let's just say history isn't my strong suit..

anyways it's almost summer break 😍

A

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