'the waves suck you in then you drown if like, you should sink down beneath, i'll swim down with you is that what you want?' - deftones

i don't think there is an age where you are just automatically grown up. it takes time, experience, and loss. it's been about 3 years since my father died and it still feels like it was yesterday i was a scared little girl trying to learn to use a gun. zephyr took our father's death hard. he didn't talk to me for months and said it was my fault i didn't bring him with us but we both know neither one of us could get him in the truck, even if we did he would've turned and neither one of us would have the guts to put him down. 

i've gotten more experienced with the new species we live with. learned how to kill them quickly and quietly. the men on the radio call them the infected. we are in georgia now and zee is beginning to catch something bad. "isa, when's the next break? i gotta pee." he complains from the passenger's seat as he twists around his rubix cube. "i don't know." i reply watching the street signs pass. we drive up the road aways and we are greeted by a small, charred, abandoned town. some burnt-down shops and dead plants line the street.

"this must have been a community at some point." i say out loud looking at the broken wall that was once barricading this place. "woodsbury. sounds rich." zee says reading the sign on the boutique we pull up beside. "stay here. if you see anything, hide." i say handing him a knife. we realized sound draws them so it's best to stay quiet. i shut the door behind me and wait for zee to lock the doors before walking into the ashy corner store. i push open the door and hold my knife just in case there is someone or something in here i don't wanna come across unprotected. after a moment or two, i grab some things off the shelf and stuff them in my backpack. i come across some medicine and take it all hoping i can find something for zee. 

my eyes wander over to a picture hanging on the wall behind the register of a father and daughter at what looks to be a carnival. they are smiling big and both holding cotton candy. she looks about 13, like zee. before i can turn around an infected runs out of the back room and jumps on top of me. i struggle to hold it away from me while i grab at the knife i dropped. the infected growls at me and its decaying face is inches away from mine. i finally grip my fingers around the handle of the knife and drive straight into the infected's head letting it fall beside me. i pant and lay flat for a moment to catch my breath then i sit up and look at the infected.

 i had never gotten a good look at them. their clothes are obviously ragged and dirty, their skin is rotting and covered in moss and blood, and their faces and teeth are decayed along with hairy worm-like fungus filling their mouths, i assume that's what infects you. i pick up my bag and hurry out of the store and back to the truck. once i reach the door i knock 3 times and the locks click. "what happened to you?" zee asks frantically referring to the blood all over my shirt. "fight with an infected." i reply. "did you find anything?" he asks. "a bit." i say handing him some food and some meds. "take those it will help with the fever." i say. jumping back into the driver's seat. 

i watch through the rearview mirror he stuffs the food in his bag and his arm twitches. ignorantly, i push it to the back of my head and put the keys in the ignition. a few moments pass and we merge onto a highway. "can i ask you something important?" zee asks picking at his fingers. "yeah, of course. anything." i reply watching the night sky in front of me. "if you turn into a monster is it still you inside?" he asks and my heart skips a beat. i watch in the rearview mirror as he pulls up his sleeve revealing a bit mark on his forearm. 

"yesterday, when we took down those infected at the gas station, one got me." he says and i hit the brakes. "why didn't you tell me." i ask turning to face him. "i was scared you'd leave me behind." he cries and i climb into the back, him hugging him tightly. "zeph." i say and some tears fall. "never." i say looking at him. "promise you will stay awake with me?" he asks as we both know he won't make it to morning. "i promise." i reply as he snuggles into his seat. silently i cry, watching him fall asleep in my arms. my eyes rest on his small torso as i watch it slowly move up and down. quietly, i grab all my things and climb out of the truck, leaving a trail of tears behind. i sit in the back cargo bed of the truck and shut my eyes for just a second before accidentally drifting off to sleep.

the sun warms my cheek and my eyes open to the bright light shining down on me. for just a second all is peaceful till banging in the window and growling catch my attention. i lay there frozen not wanting to move from my uncomfortable position. zephyr stands in the back seat trying to claw through the window to get to me. his skin is already discolored and his eyes as fogged over leaving a face i don't recognize. with tears gathering in my eyes, i grab my stuff and jump down off the truck leaving my baby brother behind.

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my shoes are about to give away on the bottom and my bag is too heavy for my back. my throat burns from the lack of water and i'm surrounded by abandoned skyscrapers covered in moss and broken structures. the sky rumbles and it starts to rain. "great." i mumble to myself and i jog through the abandoned streets into an old record store. i scope out the store for any infected and once it's clear i sit against the wall waiting for the rain to stop. my eyes doze off a few times but i smack myself awake knowing my luck has entirely run out so no risks should be taken.

i open my pack and pull out my canteen trying to collect some rainwater to boil later. after setting it out i sit back down and start drawing on the floor beside me a few moments of just sitting there watching the rain, i curl up in a ball and cry. the last few hours reality really set in that i'm completely alone now—no one to talk to, no one to protect, no one to help me. 

the cold wet floor dampens my hair and clothes but i don't mind, i have no energy to move. my ears focus on the shuffling from behind the building and i pray it's an infected to just take me out of my misery. i turn my head and i'm met not with an infected but a man holding a gun to my face. not what i wished for but hey, still ends the same. "gareth?" the man with the gun says and a few other people emerge from the hallway of the store. "do we take her?" the man with the gun asks. "why not." i assume, gareth, says and i feel the weapon hit the back of my head knocking me clean out. 

i open my eyes and it's dark, wherever i am. i pray i'm dead and this is the afterlife. "is she awake?" i hear someone say from the back of the train car. "who the fuck are you?!" i shout scurrying to the back wall of this odd room holding a hand to the back of my head where i was hit. a woman stands up walking into the small bit of light shining in through a hole. "i'm tess. this is joel. don't worry we'll get out of here." tess says cautiously. "where am i?" i ask standing up and she shakes her head. "it's a place called terminus. these assholes said they'd give us the route back to boston then shoved us in here." tess groans. "boston?" i ask and she nods. "yeah. we have a camp there." she explains. "tess." joel says basically telling her to shut up. "what? it's a big city." tess grunts turning back to me. 

"where'd they pick you up at?" she asks. "the city." i reply and she looks surprised. "what's your name, kid?" she adds. "you ask a lot of questions." i reply feeling for my gun then remembering i'm held captive so most likely i wouldn't have it with me. tess stares at me blankly waiting for her answer. "isa. my name is isa." i reply. suddenly the door opens and someone throws a can into the car exploding gas everywhere. i drop to the ground hoping to breathe in as little as i can. the air fogs up and i didn't notice joel was gone till they slammed the door and tess crawls over to me. "you okay?" she asks. "fine." i answer, jumping up. "shit." tess says noticing her friend is gone. "we need to leave." i say and she tries to peak out of the hole in the door. "what do you see?" i ask.

"more cars. no people. we're fenced in." she replies ripping a piece of wood off the wall and handing me it. "what's this for?" i ask holding the stake. "we need to take them down when they come for us." tess says taking a small knife from her boot. "you mean kill them?" i ask in disbelief. i've never killed anyone before. "yeah. you've got it." she says sighing and standing beside the door. quiet minutes pass and the crunching of boots trails up to our car. the man swings the door open and tess jumps out at him stabbing him in the neck. i jump out and run after her as we duck and run through buildings. 

no one notices us since this place is in a state of panic. everyone is yelling and running in different directions as a propane tank not far from us blows up and infected start swarming in. "we gotta find joel!" tess says and i follow behind her. weaponless, we run through the crowds of people and infected. tess bursts through a door and inside we see a couple of men lined up with a few already dead. they are crouched over what looks to be a giant sink filled with blood. a very sweaty man and a couple of his friends untie themselves and run through the door before we can say anything. i hope they make it. 

tess runs over and cuts the ropes off joel and he jumps up. "crazy son of a bitch took out these two and ran off with his friends. they were gonna cook us up, tess." joel says referring to the men on the floor. i follow tess and joel out through the door and they grab what i think is their pack's along with mine as we leave. "over the fence!" joel yells leading us through a crowd of infected and human cannibals. tess and joel boost me up but my ankle gets caught on my way down. i dangle from the fence groaning in pain as tess and joel hop over yanking me down. "can you run?" tess asks and i remember my father asking me that very question the night the world died. i nod, limping as fast as i could into the tree line.

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"well looks like we really aren't getting back to boston now. we got no map." joel mutters walking alongside tess. "shut up, just let me think." she snaps back. "while you're thinking, what are we doing with that kid? you really think FEDRA is just gonna accept us back with open arms along with a whole other stranger?" joel asks and i'm getting the sense he doesn't like me. "you guys need to go to boston?" i ask and tess nods following joel's sigh. "well i need to go to new york." i explain and tess looks over at joel. 

"no, no way." joel says quickly. "why not joel? she's a kid. she won't make it to new york on her own. boston's not that far up the coast past new york, we can make it in a few weeks." she explains. joel grunts and continues walking ahead of us through the trees. "is he always an asshole like this?" i ask tess and she smirks. "most of the time." she replies. "what's so important in new york?" tess adds. "hopefully my grandparents." i answer looking down at my feet as we walk. "how bout your parents? what happened to them?" she asks. "mom died a few months before the outbreak, dad was killed, brother was bit." i reply coldly.

"there's a building up ahead!" joel shouts from way farther ahead. "what kind?" tess shouts back. "looks like a church!" joel replies and tess and i start jogging to catch up. the church is small with white siding that looks ratted, the door is boarded up with a chain and the sign outside reads 'st sarah's church'. joel carefully runs up the steps and creaks open the door. tess and joel sneak in and after a moment they call it safe. i walk in and it smells of sweat and canned food. pews line the church and empty cans are on the floor. "looks like someone lives here." i say.

"what do you think joel?" tess asks. "it's 4 walls and a roof so it's better than what we've had in a while." he says laying down in a pew. "what are you doing?" i ask him confused why we aren't leaving yet. "relaxing." joel replies with his eyes closed. "did you forget we are going to new york?" i ask him. "did you forget it's across the country? can't make it there in one night." he replies still laying down. i huff and slide down the wall setting my bag beside me. 

i pull out a sandwich i had made a few days ago and it still looks good to eat so i peel off the wrapping. i watch as tess hands joel a piece of beef jerky and they both sit watching me eat my sandwich. "you sure you came from a community? i've been living out here on my own and at least i've got the stuff to make a sandwich." i say taking a bite. joel just glares at me while he cleans his gun. "can i have a gun?" i ask and they both look up at me. i have my bag but my gun was left back at terminus. "no." they both say in unison. "why not? i know how to shoot." i argue. "no." tess says again. "fine, i'll just throw sandwiches at the infected." i mutter taking another bite. 

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a couple of hours pass and joel's snoring is keeping me awake. i toss and turn in the pew till i get frustrated enough to sit up. i scan the room and notice a door to the right of the altar. quietly, i stand up and walk over there making sure i don't creak the floor. i turn the nob and i enter a small office with a sofa. "jackpot." i whisper laying down on the sofa. it isn't very comfortable but will do better than a pew and the best part is no more snoring. once i get comfortable i find myself staring out the window at the moon. it's bright tonight and i watch the birds fly through the shadows. i turn and accidentally knock over a vase that was sitting on the table beside me. i think nothing of it and turn back to the window.

a contorted figure ruins my view and immediately i jump from the couch causing it to see me through the window. the infected begin banging on the window and more join it. soon enough more than a dozen infected are surrounding the church. i grab my things and run out into the nave. "tess!" i shout shaking her awake. "we're surrounded by infected. there are like a hundred outside." i exclaim and she shoots up and runs over to joel waking him up. "a herd must have been passing by." tess says taking a look through the window. the infected had started to gather at the door banging on it causing the chains to rattle. 

"what do we do, joel?" tess asks concerned and joel just stands there. i run back into the office after i remembered making a note that the floor was uneven. i push the carpet away and a small door is revealed. "guys!" i shout and they both come running in. "maybe it leads out." i say and a loud bang echo through the church. "i really hope that wasn't the door." i say throwing open the hatch. "you go first i'll stay and watch your backs." tess says and joel jumps down into the hole. "it's good." joel says from underneath the church. i follow behind him making sure i look where i crawl to hopefully not step on any rats. 

tess jumps down and shuts the door behind her and follows us out. once joel breaks the foundation open we sneak through the trees and run. 

.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。.

bruh exams are kicking my ass 😭

im at the point where studying is not helping and i just need to take the test already LMAO

anyways im loving tess and isa's relationship rn 

and yk joel too...

if you could comment and vote it would mean so much to me and would help this book out a ton!

A

<3