Your POV

         𝕎𝕣𝕚𝕥𝕚𝕟𝕘. 𝕎𝕙𝕒𝕥'𝕤 𝕟𝕠𝕥 𝕥𝕠 𝕝𝕠𝕧𝕖? It's an art quite frankly and free therapy, in a way. You pick up a quill and a piece of parchment and it just...flows. Your thoughts, desires, worries, fears, and hopes all escape from the locked up chambers in your brain, through your writing utensil flooding the page. It's a relief. An escape. Your inner thoughts create a story, those very thoughts, desires, worries, fears, and hopes make up who you are. In reality, you're writing a book about yourself, but instead of the  thoughts swarming your brain like a tornado that just keeps circling, it all starts to make sense. You realize just how small your thoughts are once they are belittled on that page, the fierce lion made up of those very thoughts, ready to pounce, turning into a cub. 

At least, that's how I feel. I started journaling when I was eleven, my first year at Hogwarts. It helps me sort things out in my brain and at this point it's become a needed routine. I like to write my entries in the form of letters. It's quite soothing. I think of it as my letter to the universe. I'm writing the universe what I'm thinking that's bothering me and it will do with the information what it will. That way not only am I writing out my feelings, but I'm releasing it and giving it to someone else to control my fate.

 It's towards the end of the summer before my third year at Hogwarts, and I have barely touched my journal. Nothing too exciting has been happening to urge me to have to write a 'letter to the universe'. All I've really done this summer is explore nature with mum and dad.

 We aren't the richest family, but we're pretty well off. I love it here. The (l/n) household is a cozy cottage located basically in the middle of nowhere with the most gorgeous view of the water and hills beyond, not to mention the beautiful sunsets that glow soft shades against the horizon. I love to journal under the willow tree by the lavender field just after noon, the smell is beautiful and while I think, I like to look at the purple shades swaying in the wind. Even when I go to Hogwarts, I still sometimes have the lavender scent clinging to my clothes. It really does sound like the dream, maybe even a fantasy, when you describe it. I mean it truly is, it being the place where I've grown up and made all of my memories with mum and dad, but it feels like a lie. 

Mum and dad don't really like talking about my life before them which is understandable, just unfortunate for me. Not knowing my biological parents makes me feel as though my puzzle is unfinished, waiting for me to find the missing piece. I feel they know something I don't and I just have a strong urge that it's important for me to find out who they are, but I have nowhere to start. My parents tell me that  I was found outside the entrance of Diagon Alley by Ollivander himself wrapped in newspaper, and given to my parents by the Ministry of Magic for they thought my parents would be my best shot at a good childhood since they didn't know of any of my relatives. Which is the most cliché thing I've ever heard, but is apparently all there is to my story. I love going back to Hogwarts, because it feels like I'm living a different life, an independent, magical life. It distracts me from the demons of my past-distracts me from the shadows at night that threaten to consume my mind to think I'm not good enough, that no one can love me if they wanted to, that I'm unlovable, and a bother. all of these thoughts implanted into my brain all because a couple decided they didn't want their child. Those very thoughts dissolve occasionally creeping back up when I least expect it, but my friends that are more like family scare them away, creating a shield.

I have about two days until I have to go to platform 9 3/4 to catch the train, and I still haven't gone shopping. I miss my friends more than I think I ever have. I've only written to Ron and Harry once, maybe twice, but not much is expected of them in the writing department during summer. Hermione and I promised each other to write at least once a week and so far we have both kept our promise. I wasn't the most fond of Hermione when I met her in the Great Hall in first year, her constantly correcting me and just spitting out random facts and book titles. Don't even get her started on Hogwarts: A History, I swear that girl studied that book like it was her religion. Eventually, the things that made me iffy about Hermione, became the very things that made her my best friend. I'm hoping the when I enter Diagon Alley tomorrow, the trio happens to be shopping as well.

The Next Day

I awoke to my dear mother screeching my name. "(Y/n) dear! We HAVE to go to Diagon Alley today or you might miss your opportunity to get all the good stuff on your school list!" Astra screams up the stairs. 

 I groan into my pillow not being able to muster up the energy to yell a reply.

 "(Y/n), are you awake?" Astra screeches once again. 

"Yes mother I'm comingggg." I managed to belt out.

I was up late thinking about what the school year might have to offer. I get really bad anxiety towards the beginning of the school year, thinking about the dangers and struggles I'll have to go through, the sleepless nights and not so stellar grades as a possibility of me going back. These thoughts consumed my brain along with the anxiety, allowing me to get a grand 4 hours of sleep, hence my lack of energy. I reluctantly move my body so that my feet plant onto the soft carpet next to my bed. 

Walking over to my closet, I can't help but try and pick an outfit that might catch the eye of a certain boy who lived. I will admit, I had been thinking of Harry an odd amount during the summer. It was not something I was used to for sure. I mean yeah I might have fancied him a little our first two years at Hogwarts, but it was just a silly crush. Right? 

I shake the idea out of my head and throw on a black skirt with a maroon sweater, adding a gold necklace and some small earrings for a bit of flare. 

Once ready, I walk downstairs into the kitchen to find my mother drinking her tea at the table. 

"Ok mum, I'm ready now." I say in a rather nervous tone, the thought of seeing Harry creeping back into my thoughts. 

"What so snazzy for?" She says, seeming suspicious of this odd behavior.

"What do you mean? Just wanted to wear something other than sweatpants for a change. Is there something wrong with that?" I say a little annoyed at the fact that my mother can so easily read me. 

"Hmm interesting. Are you sure this isn't about a boy?" I notice the smirk grow on her face as she finishes her sentence.

"What? A boy? Please mum that's outrageous. I don't even know any boys so how could I fancy any. I mean there's Ron and Harry but we've been best friends since first year." I really didn't feel like exposing myself right now to my mum.

"I could think of one" She replies slowly.

I feel my face get hot as embarrassment floods my senses. "Mum please can we just go? It's already half past noon." I say, my mood quickly switching from embarrassed to impatient.

"Ok (y/n), sorry I asked." She defends.

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

As I enter Diagon Alley I immediately feel at home and it makes me a little emotional. Even after a few years, me being a witch is still overwhelming and bazaar. I look around at the bustling students, rushing to get their school supplies, parents obviously distressed at the last minute searching. I smile, knowing me being here brings me one step closer to seeing my friends again. One step closer to being home. The first two years were surely hard, I did pretty good in school, but juggling having to protect Harry and my own life in the process is what made it so difficult. My mind gets tired just thinking about the fact that I know this year probably won't be any different, and I will have great challenges ahead of me. As the warm Sun beats against my face, I look around, spotting Hagrid near Ollivander's and I walk over. 

"Hagrid!" I yell excitedly, finally seeing someone from the wizarding school after months of being away. 

"Ah (y/n)! Oh how lovely to see you! How have you been?" Hagrid asks with genuine interest in his voice.

"Hagrid I'm so glad to see you here! I'm better now, how are you?" I exclaim, joy overtaking me at the kind giants presence. 

"I'm lovely thank you. Say, I would think you would be with Harry, Hermione, and Ron right now, why are you here alone?"

My heart begins to pick up speed. They're here? I mean it makes sense, most students buy their items for the school year the day before the first day, but I guess I didn't think that would be the case with the trio. Or maybe part of me was hoping. 

"Oh I'm with my mum, Astra, but I didn't know they were here. Do you know where they are?" I regret asking this question, as for some reason, the mere thought of seeing Harry after the long summer makes me anxious.

"Ah yes, they are just down there, gettin' some supplies I assume." He answers kindly.

"Ok great, thanks Hagrid, nice seeing you again." I wave goodbye as I begin to walk in the direction that Hagrid said the trio was located.

I stop dead in my tracks as I spot them, laughing at something Ron had said. They look at me, smiles growing wider as they rush over, while I still stand there frozen. 

"(y/n)!" They say in unison, getting closer.

I glance over at Harry, a smile wide on his face as he walks over. God, his smile. Something about it gave me butterflies. Really his smile is enough to affect you? I scold myself for thinking of him in this way. You never have seen Harry like this before, why now? Do I actually have a crush on Harry James Potter? What have I gotten myself into.

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a/n~ Hey everyone! Hope you enjoyed the first chapter, I'm happy with how it turned out :) Sorry that it was a little slow burn and kinda short, but I'm so excited for the chapters ahead. 

Let me know what you thought and until next time. ~i

Mrs. Potter Squad