019 // Her

It had been 5 hours since London's outburst, his mother had cried for 1 of those hours, feeling guilt and heartbreak of her son's sadness and her daughter's death.

London on the other hand was in his room sitting on the floor, an oversized sweatshirt over his body, tear stains on his cheeks, eyes puffy and red, staring at old pictures of him and his family. He wanted to cry looking at every picture but tears would never come out.

He felt horrible for going off, For yelling at his mother for letting out his true feelings, he hated talking, he hated opening up but something within him opened up for him. It was like he was trying to fight back his inner thoughts, refusing to hide it any longer.

He felt as if he was slowly dying, slowly loosing everything that he once knew, everyday just seemed to get harder and harder. He wasn't living anymore he was just there. There because he had no other choice.

He closed his eyes and his his face behind his hands, he curled up into a ball on the furry gray rug on the floor, he let out soft sobs. He just wanted to live again, he wanted to be happy but it was if that feeling was so foreign to him. As if he hadn't heard of that feeling before. It was an exotic and thrilling feeling that he only dreamed of feeling again.

-

After calming down from his outburst, no one dared to go and check up on him, he could hear them moving on with their lives as if nothing had happened. London took a deep breath, then exhaling. He had got up and tried to move on as well. He did his homework, finished it. Decided to take a shower, after he had gotten dressed into another sweatshirt that was way to big for him and some sweatpants.

-

Jaden on the other hand for once wasn't drinking or high, he was at the park, yes the park. His childhood park where he played when he was much younger. He was sitting in one of the swings, barely moving, just in deep thought, way too deep. Even within those deep thoughts, he thought about London, way too much. He barely knew the boy yet he was so intrigued by him, So interested by the boy.

He was never around during lunch time in the lunch room, he saw the boy in the hallways and he had a very blank expression and when he smiled, you could tell that it wasn't sincere, that it meant nothing, that he wasn't really happy. It was just as if he saw everyone else doing it so he simply copied.

But the boy was very beautiful, it was if he was an angel, sent from heaven. He didn't deserve to be on this cruel earth. He adored those blue eyes, he didn't realize it and refused to. London probably thought that he didn't notice the nails that were perfectly painted or the very little makeup his wore or the pretty pink tint on his pretty plump lips-

No, no he shouldn't be thinking like this, not about a boy at least, not about a boy. Jaden you're a boy, he's a boy too. That's not okay. But yet he wanted to kiss those lips or his, how can something that others say is so sinful feel so right, so good.

Jaden closed his eyes, taking a deep breath trying to forget.

-

The next day, was just another day at school, Where classes started and ended, where students entered the classroom tired and left just as tired as they came in.

Currently, London was in English, not even paying attention to his teacher rambling on and on about who even knows what. There he sat at his desk, writing in his notebook. He had no idea about what he was writing per say, but he just kept going.  He had realized that he was writing a small story. About a boy, a boy who wanted to beautiful and pretty. A boy who wanted to wear gorgeous dresses whenever he wanted without getting yelled at or hurt. But, he couldn't, he couldn't because he had to be manly. He had to be strong, tough.

But, he just wasn't tough, he just wasn't, he couldn't be strong.

That's what he thought, But to Jaden, he thought London was one of the strongest people he had ever seen. It had been a month since noticing this boy and he could tell that a lot was bothering his mind and he wanted to know, he wanted to know everything.

London was taken out of his thoughts when the bell rung, He grabbed his backpack and notebook and left the classroom, Not even looking back.

-

"Jaden, what the fuck is up with you?" Rick, another one of his friends asked. Jaden and his friends were currently sitting at lunch, and His friends had noticed the boy's silence.

"Nothing." Jaden stated bluntly, not even pay attention to his friend, he was looking at a certain someone, that someone happened to be the blue eyed boy, London. Jaden had noticed that the boy was at lunch for once, he had his head down, reading. He was obviously reading something. Jaden had been watching the boys actions for almost the whole lunch period, every movement London made he took note of it.

"Jaden, a girl literally winked at you and looked at her then looked back to wherever your looking at. Wait? Why are you looking at that weird depressed boy?" Rick asked.

"I wasn't, I was just looking around." Jaden responded, finally paying attention to his friend. Rick got quiet for a moment.

"Dude, your not a fag are you?" Jerome joked, which his other friends laughed except Jaden. A serious look on his face as he responded to the homophobic comment."No. I'm not." Jaden said.

Jaden was just confused.

-

a/n: Thank you all for the sweet comments about this book it means a lot to me, I'm glad you guys like it. Makes me so happy that you enjoy this.