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I chew on the inside of my cheek until I taste the comforting, familiar metallic taste that makes me feel the littlest bit better. I could barely eat anything at breakfast, and would've skipped it all together if Jonathan hadn't been with me. 'It'll help the hangover' he said. He's right... but still.

I wish I could stay at the Byer's all day, hidden in the comfort of the only place I've ever felt comfortable in my whole life. I want to stay with Joyce, or go look for Will. Will. I should have been looking for him last night. Not at fucking Steve Harring-

But- Jonathan needs me at school. I have to check on Dustin, see what the boys... oh shit... the girl. Dammit! I have to find out what they're doing with the girl... And I went to a fucking party, throwing all of my fucking morals, who am I kidding, right? When my baby brother and his friends, oh right AND ME, found some GIRL in the fucking WOODS!

"Toni! Toni!"

"Huh?" I blink, snapping my head up to Jonathan standing by his car door.

"Are you okay?" He asks, his brows frowning in worry. He doesn't need to be worrying about me right now. He has too many other things to worry about.

I chew on the ripped skin in my mouth as I nod, taking in my surroundings realizing we're at school. School. In the parking lot. I zoned out as soon as I parked.

"Yeah." I blink, nodding slowly. "Yeah, yeah." I sniff, rubbing my nose. "You go ahead, I'm gonna go check on Dustin before school starts." I jab my thumb towards the middle school, only a short walk over.

"Okay." Jonathan nods back, seeming unsure. "Is your hand okay? Does the bandage feel too tight?" He checks on the other wound he had to take care of last night.

I stare down at the covered cut thinking of Barb. Heh. We having matching hands, look at us. I hope she's okay after last night, it was a lot. And making it to her car by herself. Driving home alone. Nancy was supposed to stay the night with her. Some friend, right?

Ugh. Rolling my eyes I push my curls out of my face and last night out of my mind.

"It's good." I swallow, hating any conversation about... "Don't wait up, I'll be okay." I assure him before spinning on rocks as I turn to make the trek up the hill to the middle school.

I run my thumb across the big bandage on my hand, fighting every urge to press it down into the cut, my mind begging for a distraction, my body encouraging me to do so. I can't even feel the pain on my knees, rather from numbness or they're unable to feel pain anymore I'm not sure. I stopped kicking my legs out at the doctors when they tap on them with that mini ax looking thing since I was ten and started having to pretend and kick them out myself. I always wonder if they see behind my pathetic attempt of a kick so they don't think something's absolutely wrong with me, they know, and freak my mother out even further. I think they do, and just choose to ignore it.

That's what I think most people do when they notice the little things that are just a little bit stranger than the ordinary. Choose to ignore it. Hoping it'll stop or go away, or better yet not there at all. Or there's the other option... which is make them feel like an absolute freak for it. Just because it may be a little different that what they do or what they're used to. That's what people do when someone does something different and they don't understand it so it freaks them out. They either ignore it, like Lonnie does, or half the people in this town. Or they make fun of it. Like the other half of people in this town, and like majority of those who go Hawkins Middle School or Hight School.

Unfortunately, you would think by the time these fucking imbeciles, who will all either become pregnant by the time their nineteen and have to marry the boring rich white guy who knocked them up or amount to nothing more than a charity drive runner or work at the bank, get to high school they would know better.... act better. But they don't. They never do. Example... the dumb fuck kids who're mean to the boys... grow up to be little intitled pricks like Tommy H. and Carol and...

"Toni!" Dust, Mike, and Lucas all shout drawing my attention to the bike rack they're at before they all hurry over to me.

"Hey guys." I smile, actually smile, cheering up the first time since- "Just came to check on you since I was at the Byer's last night." I ruffle Dustin's hat on his head and his toothless grin shines through as he bats my hand away.

"Oh, good!" Mike sighs in relief and I stretch a brow up. "We have the chance to tell you we're meeting up at my house after school, got it?"

"Uhhh, yeah, yeah." I agree quickly. "Is that girl still there?" I blurt out, wanting to know now.

"Yes." Lucas rolls his eyes. "She's still in Mike's basement."

I nod, following along. "Okay..."

"Yes, she's still there." Mike shoots Lucas a glare before turning back to me.

"She's gonna be our weapon later!" Dustin says excitedly.

"Woah, what, weapon?" I instantly repeat, feeling the normal whiplash I get when they all try to talk at once or say things that they most definitely should give more context for.

"She's not a weapon." Mike snaps at Dustin before I snap my fingers in front of all three of their faces to bring them back on track from breaking out into an argument... again.

"What's happening after school?" I ask.

"Oh, right." Mike's attention bounces back to me. "We're going to look for Will after school. El," He emphaizes, taking a moment to look at Dustin and Lucas, "Is going to help us."

"Right, right." I nod slowly. "And who's El?"

"Toni." Mike groans, throwing his head back and Lucas shakes his head at him just as the bell rings, causing Mike to spring back up. "Gotta go." He rushes in for a hug, Lucas next, before I can even hug back. "My house 3:15!" He calls over his shoulder as him and Lucas hurry off. Dustin stays, thankfully.

"Mike's house 3:15?" I look at him.

"Mhmm." He nods certainly. "I brought snacks." He says. "Hope that's okay."

I let out a chuckle, cracking another smile. "It's fine." What would I do without this goofy mess? "I'll be there." I tell him and he seems even more at ease than before.

"Okay, good." His grin grows. "I better get to class." He looks around at kids scurrying every which direction to get inside.

"Yeah, yeah, don't let me keep you." I say very seriously, glad he's still interested in school at all. Could not be me...

He crashes into me for a hug and this time I do get the chance to hug back.

"Love you, Toni." He whispers. This kid.

"Love you." I whisper back with a snort.

As he pulls back he frowns slightly. "Is your hand okay?" His little face scrunches up in concern as examines.

"Uh, yeah." I answer quickly, shoving my hand in my pocket. He looks up at me. "Swear. I cut it this morning helping Jonny in the kitchen." I throw out so easily. "He bandaged it up for me, just a small slice, nothing serious." I convince, not needing my little brother to worry, at all, but especially not about me.

"Okay." Dustin nods, perking right back up. "I have a band-aid if you need it later." He smiles before heading inside and my heart melts on the inside.

God what did I do to deserve these kids... and why was one ripped away from me?

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𝟶ʙᴜᴛᴛᴇʀʙɪsᴄᴜɪᴛ𝟽 sᴘᴇᴀᴋs!

Hey, heyyy!! Welcome back to Rightside Uppp!! When I TELL y'all the way I gasped & screamed when I saw that 'Rightside Up' is going to be one of the S5 episode titles... oh they know, they know... jk haha, but HOW FREAKIN COOL?!?!

Anywaysss, sry for not updating back this summer like I entended to for the S4 PT2 anniversary lmao, buttt... THANK Y'ALL SO MUCH FOR 400+ READSSS, HELLO?!

We celebrated Stranger Things Day last week but I held off on an update becauseee... today is Toni's birthdayyyy!! Sooo HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO MY FAVORITE NERD & FREAK TONI HENDERSON <333

Today is also actually my grandpa's birthday. He died 3 years ago this month & when he did I chose today to be Toni's birthday in honor of him after she got Scorpio on her zodiac sign test. So this one's for you grandpa, happy birthday in heaven <3

I hope y'all enjoyed this chapter!! (Sry for the sad turn lol) I loved getting to show Toni with her boys bc they love her so much & her chaotic thoughts are SO fun to write lolll. Also this chapter (it took you this long you dumb b- no I've act. thought this before lol) made me realize Toni is soooo adhd omlll. Haha, just had to throw that out there lmao.

Don't forget to comment y'all's thoughts, questions, & reactions & I'm SO glad more people are finding this book & getting to meet Toni!! Until next time... mwah!!