When a person dies, they stop breathing and all bodily functions would stop working.

But how does a person truly dies?

Some say that you die once you cease to exist and when your flesh and bones have decomposed, long enough for you to become one with the earth. 

Nature's cycle is what they call it.

In essence, Yuu died and should have disappeared.

But he didn't.

A thousand years ago, he was once human. A human who fell for another human, one who craves to have their affections returned.

Like any other foolish man, he waited and waited. 

Yuu only ever have affections for one person who he swore he would dedicate his life to. 

Like all the children in the ancient times, he was born in a poor family, neglected among his many siblings and expected to provide for himself when his parents were too busy frolicking and gambling around town to take care of him and his brothers and sisters.

Yuu often wondered why he was born. For that very matter, why did his parents birthed him when they could not raise or take care of him? Were children so easy to make and discard that they could stomach neglecting so many at once after having done their duty of 'creating' them?

Yuu thought that it was such a sad thing. He would not be like them. If the gods were kind enough to allow him to reach adulthood, he would not marry nor would he sire so many children. He would not allow them to suffer much like he and his siblings did.

Starved. Neglected. And hungry for affection.

Useless.

He was nine when two of his younger sisters died in their sleep. They were gaunt, sickly and thin. He was not surprised about their deaths. Yuu had heard them coughing every night, their stomach growling, like animalistic noises alerting him to an impending doom that could not be avoided.

And ah.

This was death. It was so sudden and natural. A process that could not be avoided or stopped.

In the Heian period, poverty was rampant even in a small town like theirs. Deaths occurred everywhere, people hardly blink about it. 

A thousand years later, he could still remember the dirty old wooden hut he lived in where his human parents and siblings would huddle together to shelter themselves from the wind and rain.

It was a time of great hardship until he met Mimi.

Having been born poor, he knew his place. What could he ever hope to accomplish? She was a person way out of his league, someone he could not possibly hope to reach.

But then, that rich merchant's daughter who was the envy of everyone in town had smiled at him and looked his way as if he was someone.

'Someday, you will find the right person for you.'

She looked at him like Yuu was an equal and not a mere parasite who was leeching off of the goodness of other people.

"Mimi-san, why did you befriend me? I cannot offer you anything. I am from a poor family and I have no means to adorn you with gifts.. I am uneducated. I cannot read or write. I do not have a house of my own except for the old wooden hut where my family reside. Why me? Why?"

"Do you believe yourself inferior because of that?"

"There is no other explanation..."

"Yuu-kun, you're funny." Yuu could never forget the smile on her face that day. So bright and so full of warmth. Her sincerity was blinding when she spoke to him in a way that made him feel he was someone special.

"Friendship." Mimi told him.

"You can offer me friendship."

No one ever told Yuu that having a connection and bond with someone who understands you deeply and knows you well would be so life-changing. 

Friendship.

So familiar yet so foreign. Yuu never had friends. Who would accept a poor boy like him who had not even a penny in his person? He was born with nothing and had accepted he would die with nothing.

"Everyone approached me because of Otou-sama. Otou-sama has a lot of money and people think if they become close with me or offer me marriage, they would live a life of luxury. I am Otou-sama's only child. I know my value well." Mimi smiled at him. It was a strange smile from a girl who has everything.

She looked as if she was carrying a burden much bigger than her own.

"But Yuu-kun is different."

"Yuu-kun is the only one who did not approach me. You were the only one who did not come after me for my background. In my mind, I thought that a person like Yuu-kun is hard to find. I want to be friends with someone like Yuu-kun." 

"Just because of that?"

"Just because of that."

Friendship was strange. You could be friends with someone with the strangest of reason yet somehow, it did not matter. The bond that comes after was what truly made sense of everything.

Did he deserve such happiness? Yuu often cried in his sleep, wondering what he did to deserve this and secretly hoping it was not a dream.

Even though a long time has passed and he had forgotten his human feelings when he became a demon, Yuu could not forget Mimi.

When he was at his lowest, she was the only one who reached to him. When he thought himself worthless, only Mimi thought otherwise. This is why he changed himself. He worked harder than anyone else to become a man that was worthy of her.

Yet perhaps Yuu was still lacking because even when those women who used to show him disdain had fallen for him after he became a changed man, only Mimi stayed the same.

Because she never changed. Mimi would smile at him like Yuu was her dearest friend.

It was touching, and so, so heartwarming. But Yuu who had already outgrown his desires for friendship wanted something else he could not have. Despite knowing the the hopelessness of it all, he still dared.

But Mimi never did looked at him the way she looked at Muzan.

Yuu had known for a long time. He was lacking something. He could not reach her and could not possibly be with her because her heart had already been stolen by someone else.

Or it was never meant for him in the first place.

For what reason did they met?

Only for him to feel so much grievance and pain afterwards?

"Mimi-san, Mimi-san....in the end, I could not match him. I am not as rich as him. I was not born noble. I could only ever be your 'friend' and 'little brother,' because I was born a lowlife with nothing to my name."

"While he was born with a silver spoon in his mouth, I was gnawing on dirt and wood to survive. He is much more capable than me. He could make you happy and provide you with anything you desire."

'Someday, you will find the right person for you.'

"I know this more than anyone. But I cannot help but think why am I not enough for you? "

♤♡◇♧

Present Day

"Yuu-kun...Yuu-kun..."

Yuu was snapped out of his thoughts. His white clawed hand held his head as he immersed himself in the past for a brief moment. A millennium had passed and the regrets he felt as a human were never forgotten. 

He lost his human emotions and shed off the weak shell he once was yet the past still haunts him.

"Yuu-kun...can you hear me?" Yuu snapped his eyes towards Nao.

"Yes...I hear you." He said, his pair of demon eyes staring intensely at her. Perhaps the reason why those memories of the past could not be forgotten was because they were the very reason that led him to his demonification. And when Yuu died, he had a lot of regrets and resentment, for himself and for the life he was born in.

If only he was born in a noble family, then perhaps...

Yuu dispersed the thought.

It no longer matter. In the end, he was the one beside with Mimi.

He'd kill her if she left.

If Yuu couldn't have her, then no one else can.

Especially not that person.

He lost once. It would not happen again. Even if they have to repeat the same life over and over again, no matter how many reincarnations or deaths. Because he was not worthy, he could only ever play the role of a villain and pretend that this was the happiness he had always been wanting.

"Yuu-kun, do you remember what I told you before?"

Yuu nodded. Even without being precise, he knew what she meant. "Yes."

'Someday, you will find the right person for you.'

"Am I the right person?" She asked him with an expression he could not decipher. 

Yuu's eyes glowed. This was the first time she had asked him this.

"Do I make you happy?" She asked again.

"Does being with me make you happy?"

Those questions caught him off guard, much like how this reincarnation of Mimi was different from the rest.

Nao smiled at him when he took too long to answer.

"Yuu-kun, I feel sad." She said, eyes glistening. "Do you even know what being happy means?"

"Being together with Mimi-san makes me happy. This is how things should be."

The look in Nao's eyes seemed to intensify.

Yuu did not like that look. It was strange and it felt like his very being was being questioned. Nao's words proved that.

"Yuu-kun..." Nao told him, a sadness in her eyes garnering his full attention.

"You never became happy to begin with."

♤♡◇♧

A/N:  I lost the password to this account which was why I wasn't able to update for a year or so. I wasted a lot of time and didn't stop to think that this acc is actually linked to my email.  щ(ಥ◡ಥ)щ dumbdumb