TW: A lot of angst is ahead, mentions of depression and self loathing.

 Also the moment we have all been waiting for is finally here.....

Key: (BOLD + Italic are the character's Inner thoughts)

Alex POV

Edward has been anxious all morning and it's really starting to piss me off, I mean I know it's cliché and that apparently its bad luck to say this, but what's the worst that could happen (I mean I know that the Cullens could be exposed to the whole town, but hey at least Emmett will get a nice snack and some exercise out of it). 

When we finally got to school, the first thing I saw was Bella Swan walking into the forest behind the school and subtly motioning Edward to follow (she failed at the subtly because I'm pretty sure the whole school saw that), me being the amazing best friend (future boyfriend) I am, decided to follow them because lets be real here, anxious Edward Cullen + Human that makes him anxious = disaster.

I'm pretty sure that neither of them knew I was following them as they both were pretty absorbed in each other (I'd be a liar if I didn't say that I got a little jealous watching the two of them dance around each other (metaphorically, I've seen Bella trip over air, so I'm pretty sure she can't dance all that well anyway)).

It looked as if they were playing a game with each other, neither knowing what to say and both waiting for the other to start (it was so frustrating to watch and it came to a point where I was about to revel myself just to strangle both of them...........no one likes this much suspense you know, honestly it's like watching a horror movie where you have to wait for the jump scare to happen or waiting for the ghost and his now vampire/former human best friend to kiss already because you're so sick and tired of both of them being oblivious to their feeling for each other).

Finally Bella decided she has had enough waiting and was gonna take the first step (thank God), "I know what you are," wow.......and the most vague sentence of the year award goes to......yup you guessed it BELLA SWAN!!! I had to stop myself from face palming or hitting my head against the nearest tree because who the hell starts a confrontation like that!

 I mean if she was gonna start it at least she could have written some speech cards or some questions on a piece of paper or something! The rest of the conversation went pretty much like that (not that I was surprised). After a lot of depressing shit, sparkling and dramatic gasping in surprise (the last one was obviously Bella), we were all on our way back to school (well Bella and Edward were on their way back to the school building).

I decided to stay and wander the forest a little. Now that I was left alone with my thoughts I felt a wave of sadness wash over me, a wave of sadness that I couldn't explain. As I walked further into the forest the feeling intensified, I felt suffocated, as if my lungs were being ripped out, tears were starting to fall down my pale, almost translucent cheeks. My sobs came out loud and ugly and no matter how hard I tried to muffle them, it wouldn't work.

 I never liked crying, not even when I was human, I think I cried maybe once for twice a year. I would lock myself in the bathroom or my bedroom, let my tears out (making sure to never be too loud), and I would cry my heart out before wiping my tears, putting a smile on my face and pretending it never happened. 

I was known for always smiling and joking around and at one point I got so good at it, so good at hiding my feelings behind a smile and some jokes that sometimes I forgot who I was, I forgot who I was living for, every decision made in my life didn't feel like mine, I didn't feel like I was living for myself anymore.

At one point I got so tired of saying I'm fine over and over again, at one point I just wanted to scream that no, I'm not fine, that I'm tired and I just want it all to end already, to break down and demand what the purpose of life was, but I never did. I kept quiet, I acted how I was expected to, I tried to be an easy child, I tried to ease my parents' trouble, I tried not to feel like a burden, but in the end all I ever felt in life was useless. 

My life motto was to live with no regrets, but it's hard to do that when anxiety and depression make you overthink a fucking lot, and even harder when you are raised in a household filled with fights and violence. As a child I had always wondered what it was like to die (morbid I know, but I was never a normal child), I was a weird child, always talking to myself, imagining people who didn't know who I was, but in my head, they were my best friends.

 I shook my head to get rid of the depressing thoughts, my mother always told me I was an overthinker, but not in an accusing or annoyed way. No, I remember her smile being fond and her eyes twinkling when she would say it, (to anyone else it would be a twinkle of humor, but I knew there was always concern that shone in her youthful brown eyes). I heard a twig break behind me with a loud 'SNAP,' I immediately turned around (and I will forever till the day I die.......again deny the little high pitched squeal I let out when I heard that snap).

 I was met with the sight of Edward looking beautiful as usual, but a look of concern etched on his face instead of the smile I loved so much. He slowly walked towards me as if I was a wounded animal in need of saving (in a way I was, but it's not like I'm gonna tell him that). I rolled my eyes at his actions, but couldn't stop the smile that spread across my lips, I had to close my eyes for a minute because I was getting overwhelmed with love for this boy, even after all this time he was still the same in so many ways, his actions were just so Edward, silly, sweet, caring, shy Edward.

I opened my eyes and was face to face with Edward, he was so close that if I reached up a little, I could easily press my lips to his.......and so that's what I did. The kiss started off slow (yes, I know you have been waiting for this for so long, but so have I and I didn't want to force the guy, sorry vampire to kiss back), but then it started getting more passionate and before I knew it my now solid back was against a cold tree and I was sucking faces with the vampire guy I wanted to kiss ever since I learnt what making out was (spoiler alert: it has been well over a hundred years since that).

 Also, back in the 1900's there was no birds and the bees conversation, nobles told their children about all that shit before marriage, but for us commoners finding out what kissing is by having to watch your uncle make out with the maid is as good as you'll get (I may be dead and over a hundred years old, but that memory will forever haunt me more than Annabelle can haunt anyone in her pathetic demonic, plastic ass existence).

After about God knows how long, Edward finally pulls away, both of our lips are red and swollen (but neither of us mind), Edward's wearing a stupidly huge grin on his face (that I no doubt mirror) and for some reason this makes him look younger, more human if you will. It's silent for a few seconds before I hear a whispered "I love you," from Edward.

 It was whispered so silently that I thought I imagined it, but then I thought I'd magically died again and this was heaven, but then quickly banished that thought from my mind because I know when I die again there will be no angels waiting for me at heaven's gate, but instead the devil inviting me to join those who have fallen. 

I must have been silent for too long because the next thing I see is Edward trying to gently push me away in order to escape (if this idiot seriously thinks that I'm going to just let him go after I've waited for this moment for so long then he's stupider than I thought and I should seriously reconsider my choice in future lovers).

With speed I didn't even know I possessed (possessed get it, cause I'm a ghost........anyways moving on), I grabbed the collar of Edward's shirt in an iron grip, daring him to move. I pulled him closer until our lips were only inches apart, "I love you too," I whispered in a low voice, not daring to be any louder. I didn't wait to see what his reaction was and just kissed him.......again (I think I've restrained myself long enough and I deserve some sort of reward for that, don't you think so). I could feel him smile against my lips and that just made me kiss him harder.

"Does this mean you'll be my forever now," we had just stopped kissing when Edward suddenly sprung this on me and I was stunned for a few minutes, but when I understood what he was asking I couldn't help the warm feeling that crawled into my cold, dead heart. "Yeah, I'll be your forever, but only if you'll be my always," the smile I got in return will be one I will always cherish. And that's how we ended up walking back to Forks High School hand in hand with a smile on our faces, butterflies in our stomachs and a giddy feeling in our hearts. 

A/N: Soooo what do you guys think? I'm so sorry about not updating in so long, but I just didn't get the time to write at all, I've been so busy at school, like I literally feel like dying at the end of every week.  

I went back and edited the whole book so it's easier to read now, so tell me if you guys find these paragraphs easier to read. 

I hope you guys enjoyed this, especially since I've never written a kiss scene. Anyways, have a good day/night and I will see you guys in the next chapter.  I love you guys!!!