|1 3  o f  j u n e  2 0 1 3|

•jungkook•

Tonight will be our first live performance ever and since the day I knew the date, I was growing nervous as it got closer.

I've been practicing really hard but I always got that feeling that I'll mess up the dance or that I'll forget the lyrics.

Just the thought of it makes my heart beat a little faster.

You know that feeling when you're about to do an oral presentation and even if you know the topic by heart, just the thought of having about 20 pair of eyes looking at you and waiting for you to make the slightest mistake puts you under pressure.

So much pressure.

That's how I've been feeling for a few weeks now. And this is worse now that we're backstage, fixing our hair and outfits.

I don't want to mess everything up, Namjoon hyung is so happy about our debut, we've gone through some rough times as trainees, I can't deceive him.

I can't deceive the fans.

I can't deceive BTS.

- Kookie-ah, are you dressed? We have to do your make-up and fix your hair! One of the make-up noonas yelled.

- I'm c-coming, noona! I responded, stuttering a little.

- Aren't you excited? Taehyung asked, all bouncy and smiley while he was getting his hair fixed.

- Mhm. I just hummed, smiling awkwardly.

I'm just so nervous I can't help it.

- I'm done Jungkook-ah, is everybody ready? She asked, looking around her to check the others.

- Yeah. They all said in unison.

I check time on my phone and feel my heart sink as I read the numbers that appeared on the screen.

7:42pm.

In 18 minutes, we'll be on stage.

Suddenly it all feels so real.

I'm fanning myself a little as I was starting to sweat. I'm hot. (ofc ur hot 👀)

Too hot.

- Don't stress Kookie, you'll do well! Namjoon hyung reassured me, patting my tensed shoulders.

- Okay.. I whispered, not really convinced about it.

I can feel my heartbeat pick up its pace and my stomach can't stop churning...

I'm starting to feel nauseous.

I'm like in a trance.

I hear the MC talking in the mic

I see everybody rushing around me

I'm putting my earpiece absent-mindedly, as though my body was acting by itself.

I look at the digital clock on the wall.

7:52pm

8 minutes before we go on stage.

I was now fidgeting as I hear the loud cheers and screams from the fans.

My hands were trembling.

What's happening to me?

I feel a bit more nauseous than I already was so I decided I'd go calm down a little in the bathroom.

*sigh*

I look at my reflection in the mirror as my sweating hands were maintaining my upper body despite the fact they were litterally shaking at this point.

I close my eyes, taking a few deep breaths in order to calm my fast heart rate.

I try to think of the lyrics, visualizing the choreos at the same time

But

My mind went blank.

I open my eyes and meet my terrified reflection again.

I can see how pale my face has become and how worse it gets.

I force my brain to remember but it doesn't work.

I let out a strangled sob as I pulled at my hair harshly.

Why did I have to forget now?!

Please remember.

Please remember.

Please remember!

- Remember... R-remember... Remember! Why can't I remember?! I cried loudly.

Then I begin to feel like my breathing has become more difficult.

- I-I can't.. Breathe.. I murmured.

Nobody was there to help me and I can't calm my crying.

I don't understand what is happening to me.

- Someone help.. P-please. I mumbled as I hyperventilate.

Despite the fact my vision has become blurry, probably because of tears, I manage to take my phone out of my pocket.

I unlock it, trying to go to my contacts but it's not easy with my shaking hand and obstructed vision.

As I was about to call my first contact, my phone started to ring instead.

I immediately answered the call but I couldn't talk.

My breathing was too ragged, it felt like I didn't have any air in my lungs.

I let out a few gasps and sobs before finally slurring a word.

It was all I could say.

- B-bathroom...

My ears were now ringing.

I don't know who called nor do I know if the person who called me understood I needed help.

Everything seems to fade away around me.

But I continue to cry, trying to breathe as much air as I could.

...

+On the others' side+
•

omniscient•

- So what did he say? Where is he? The manager asked.

- I think I heard him say the word bathroom but I'm not quite sure... He was having trouble breathing. Seokjin said worriedly.

Everyone look at each other, worry painting over their features.

- He was quite stressed these last few days. Yoongi admitted.

- I will loo- Hoseok started.

- I will look for him, try to distract the fans for awhile. Seokjin cut, putting emphasis on the 'I'.

Then he hurried to the only bathroom that was backstage while the others went on stage.

...

•seokjin•

- Jungkook! Oh dear... I let out before rushing towards him.

He was really in a poor state...

Curled up in a ball, breathing like crazy despite his loud sobs and his eyes half closed with fat tears escaping.

I can feel his body trembling like a scared bunny in front of a predator as I sat in front of him.

He's having a panic attack.

- Jungkook? Jungkook?! Look at me bunny... I said as I cupped his face so he looked at me in the eyes.

He doesn't respond but I know he heard me, his eyes were now focusing on mine.

That'll make it a lot easier.

- Listen Jungkook, you're going to be just fine okay? I'm here with you and nothing is going to happen. I said as I caressed his back, soothing him.

After a few minutes, he seems to calm down a little as he has stopped crying.

That's a good thing, it's going to be easier for him to breathe.

I take his trembling hands, my thumb rubbing little circles on his soft skin then I place one of them on my chest.

- Breathe in deeply Kookie, you'll feel better soon. I affirmed as I exaggerate my own breathing so he could mirror it.

- Hear my breathing, feel my heartbeat, focus on nothing else than my handsome face. I added with a wide smile as I can clearly hear his breathing getting steadier.

My phone kept buzzing but I didn't even pay attention to it.

My priority was to get Jungkook better.

And after a good 10 minutes, he eventually calmed down.

- How are you feeling now? I asked, to get to the bottom of it.

- H-hyung.. I'm fine, thank you very much. He whispered, his arms now tightly wrapped around my neck.

I hug him back, smiling a little but my smile quickly fades away.

- What happened Jungkookie? How come you were in such a poor state? I asked.

- I don't know hyung, I-I was just really upset and stressed because I couldn't remember any of the lyrics nor the choreos... And I don't know what happened to me, it's the first time I experience this... He cried a little.

- Shhhhhhhhh, it's okay Jungkook-ah, I think you had a panic attack... But now you're fine, everything is alright. I said.

- W-we can cancel the show if you're not feeling alright, you know? We won't perform if you don't feel like it. A panic attack is something really tiring to experience so I guess the others would understa-

- No hyung, I'm fine now. I want to perform, we have been waiting for so long! Thanks to you I feel better and calm. I'm able to perform. He affirmed, smiling widely.

I hug him tightly before backing off a little, looking at his face.

- Let's go then! I cheered.

/t i m e s k i p/

|a t  t h e  d o r m|

- Whoaaaaaaaaaaa! It was so exciting! Jimin said.

- Hyung your rap was amazing, I'm your biggest fan! Taehyung yelled in admiration, hearts almost noticeable in his eyes as he looks at Yoongi.

- I know, I'm a genius.

(this YoÖng¡ Ü)

I quickly wipe the tears that made their way down my cheeks.

I feel so shameful.

I can't believe this actually happened to me!

I let out a sob, sniffing loudly.

- Awe hyung, don't be like that. Nobody noticed I promise. Jungkook said in order to reassure me.

- Of course they saw! Who wouldn't notice that my shorts were two sizes bigger than it should, it litterally slipped down my waist, I could feel it! I cried louder.

- Hyung, you did very well, you were very professional. I swear you catched it before it could fall down your knees, don't worry. I'm proud of you, you could hide your feelings till we reached backstage. He patted my wonderfully broad shoulders.

- Thank you Kook. I hug him tight, wiping the dry tears off my cheeks.

- Wanna play Mario kart with us? Taehyung asked, Jimin following him closely.

- Of coUrSe I'm gonna beat your asses right now! I exclaimed as the incident was no longer in my mind.

______________________________

Hi! I hope you like this OS (even if it's cliché (sometimes cliché is cute tho)), it was requested by amyhannah21 (: thank you for requesting!

It's a little shorter than what I usually write but I hope it didn't affect the quality :)

Please tell me if you notice spelling mistakes or anything :)

ALL requests are OPEN ♡