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"All that still matters is love ever after, after the life we've been through"

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THE NIGHT  was filled with giggles, laughter, and even a little bit of tears because we were laughing so hard. Theo is just a natural entertainer, and dinner with him was probably one of the best moments I've had all my life.

We went to the Mystic Grill for dinner, with Theo sitting on James's side of the booth while I sat opposite to them. For those whole two hours I thought nothing about what I did when I turned my humanity off, nothing about the tomb, or Caroline's pain. I didn't think about how upset or mad my brothers might be about me. I just thought about how happy I was, and for the first time in a while I actually felt hopeful for my future.

Tonight I saw what I want my future to look like, and it consists of the two beings beside me.  I see us as a family, and honestly that's all I've ever wanted. Finally I can see that happening, and it makes me so happy, I subconsciously let out a smile whenever I think about it. Actually, that's what I'm thinking about now.

"What are you smiling about?" James asks, looking over at me from the driver's side as we drive home from our eventful night. Theo stays passed out in the back seat, probably full on all the pasta and ice cream he ate.

"Just thinking," I say, in a teasing way.

James reaches across and takes my hand while keeping the other hand on the steering wheel. "About what exactly?" he questions.

"Just about all the things that make me happy." I smile as I glance at James and then back at Theo.

"And, are you happy?" he asks with his brow raised, glancing over.

"I'm always happy with you," I tell him. He only smiles, as he brings my hand up to his lips, planting a kiss on it. The simple gesture causes me to blush, but I find myself not able to look away from his perfect figure.

"I hope you know I feel the same way about you, you know," he says, still holding on tight to my hand.

"Of course I do. I love you," I finally say, staring at him.

"I love you too, Blair." He says, and in this moment everything is perfect.

We stay in this comfortable, loving silence for a few minutes when I finally decide to ask the question that has silently been floating around in the back of my mind all night. "James," I begin.

"Hmm?" he asks, causally glancing over at me while keeping an eye on the road.

"Are you mad at me? For earlier I mean when I didn't tell you the plan. I mean, I can't imagine what I must have put you through, and I'm incredibly sorry," I say. "I would never put myself in a dangerous situation again, which is why I had so many back up plans."

"I'm not mad Blair," he admits honestly. "I was a little shaken up, but after you explained everything and everything worked out, I can't be mad, nor am I." 

"Are you positive?" I ask, feeling slightly guilty.

"I mean, I did watch you die which practically tore me apart for a few seconds, until Bonnie came running in with Damon and explained everything. Those five minutes when I thought you were dead were the worst five minutes of my life. I hated every second of it," he explains, pain written in his voice, spreading to me as if it's contagious.

"Hey," I say, rubbing my thumb on the back of his hand. "I watched you vanished in front of my eyes okay? And I really thought you were dead for like two years," I chuckle lightly.

"I guess you've got a point," he admits with a light laugh. "I guess we're even."

"So no more dying then?" I tease, a smirk on my face.

"Nah, I think it's okay if we keep the death down to a minimum," he adds in sarcastically, playing along.

"It kinda hurts," I remark.

"It really does," he says. 

"We talk like we're not dead people walking, vampires and all," I say. 

Suddenly Theo lets out a big yawn from the back seat. "What is you two talkin' about?" He yawns again, rubbing his eyes.

James and I exchange glances, before bursting out laughing. "Oh nothing Tee." I laugh. Sometimes I wonder how Theo will grow up, and the type of stories that he'll tell. He doesn't have a normal family or a normal life, hell, he isn't your average kid, but he's still my little Theo.

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We arrive home late at night, past midnight actually, which means it's technically the morning. James carries a sleeping Theo in his arms, drool dripping down his shoulder from Theo's mouth. "Aw, he's drooling," I gasp, tapping Theo lightly on the nose.

"Must get it from you," James teases, sending me a sly, handsome smirk. He speaks as if Theo and I are biologically related, and even though we're not, I still feel a rush of happiness by the way he said it so naturally. I know I will never be able to have my own kids, from my own blood, but Theo is the closest thing I will ever have to it. 

I open my mouth as if I'm offended, placing a hand mockingly over my heart. "I do not!" I scoff, although I know very much that I do. When I sleep, I sleep deep, and in that deep state of floating around unconscious, I have no control of how I choose to breathe.

"I'm going to put him to bed," James whispers, placing a kiss on my cheek.

"Okay." I smile. "I'm going to see where everyone is," I say, as I watch the two of them walk up the stairs, a light snore sounding from Theo's lips.

I place my jacket on the hall chair before making my way into the kitchen where the lights are turned on. I pout my lower lip in confusion as I see Damon sitting by himself, a bottle of half empty bourbon in front of him while a glass is held in his hand.

"Was that bottle full before you started drinking tonight?" I ask as I walk up from behind him, pulling up a chair so I'm sitting adjacent to his right.

"Yup," he mumbles groggily. Either he's sleepy or drunk, and judging by the amount of bourbon he's drank, I would say he's leaning towards the intoxication side of the sober scale.

"Where is everyone?" I question, noticing how Damon is the only one here. I have no idea how long he's been here all by himself, but it rather concerns me.

Damon leans back in his chair, letting out a stretch. "Well, Stefan is off with Caroline somewhere, still helping her deal with her emotions, and Joel and Logan are at some bar getting drunk," he explains, rubbing his eyes.

"So... why aren't you out with Elena? Everyone else has had a date night," I ask.

Damon doesn't answer, only brings his glass up to his lips and chugs down the rest of the bourbon before pouring himself another batch. I narrow my eyes at him, using my detective skills to piece together the information. "Is there something going on between you two? Some sort of fight? Have the perfect couple finally hit a bump in the road?" I joke lightly, smiling at him.

He sends me a glare as he takes a sip. "Oh come on, we've all been there. I would be concerned if you guys didn't have a fight. It's usually not a good relationship if there's not some sort of disagreement. A perfect couple is never perfect," I say, raising my glass while downing a gulp of the liquid.

"You're not helping Blair," Damon growls, rolling his eyes.

"I know," I sigh, turning serious. "So what happened then?" 

He purses his lips as if he's debating on whether he's going to tell me. However, I know he knows that we'll be at this table all night if he doesn't explain. He knows me better than that; he's experienced my stubbornness once too many times.

"You know how a while back we were searching for the cure?" he begins, and I nod. "And you know how it kind of got used on Katherine?"

"Yeah." I nod. "Not a waste though." I laugh without a smile, taking a drink.

"Yeah, well I know how many people wanted it. I knew Elena wanted it, and I knew Stefan wanted it." He pauses. "Did you want it?"

"James and I talked about it a bit. He said in a perfect world he would've taken it. I honestly didn't think much of it. We were getting it for Elena, and with everyone wanting it I knew I was never going to be the first person in line. I know you guys didn't go to the island with the intention of giving it to anyone else, so I didn't get my hopes up. I understood," I admit, causing Damon's expression to go soft.

"I'm sorry," he whispers, as the room goes quiet. "Would you have? If we went to the island to get the cure for you?"

I stare at my hands wrapped around the cold glass of bourbon, thinking hard about what my desire really is, and what I would actually want. I think about what it would be like to be human again, to gain that part of me back. I think of what I would do, the adventures I would go on, the feelings I would feel knowing every moment was more valuable. I think about the children I could have, and the generations I could make. Then I think about what I would be leaving behind. There's only one dose, which means if I took it, James wouldn't be able to. I don't think I will ever see a future without James, and the thought of growing old while he stays beautiful and young scares me.

"No," I sigh. "If James couldn't have it along side me, I wouldn't take it. So my answer is no," I say. "I know James felt the same way. Since there was only one dose, neither one of us really wanted it that badly if it meant losing the other in sixty or so years."

Damon nods in understanding. That's the thing with drunk Damon. He acts either very calmly or very irrationally. Right now he's entered a state of calmness that has opened up his ears, perfect for deep conversations. 

"Yeah, well it just so happens that when Bonnie was in that prison world, she ended up travelling to Nova Scotia where she dug up the magic rock to find magic to escape, and with it she also conjured up the cure," Damon explains.

"So she brought another dose home?" I raise a brow.

"Yeah, and she gave it to me. I assume she wanted me to give it to Elena, but I didn't," he says quietly, as if he's ashamed. I only listen. 

"I didn't want to give it to her at first, because I didn't want to spend an eternity without her. I had pictured her by my side for the rest of my life. I care so much Blair, so much for her. I didn't know I could care so much for a person, and sometimes it physically hurts me in ways I didn't know I could be hurt. Katherine never made me feel like this. I know that what we have is real, and I don't want to change that, and I love who we are now," he says, his eyes dazed as he speaks the truth. He speaks with his heart, and I admire him for it. I can tell just how much he loves Elena, and although I'm not a fan of her, I'm thankful she makes my brother happy; he deserves it.

"But she found out. Didn't she? That's why you two are in a fight?" I ask, putting the pieces together.

"Yes," he says, tapping his finger against his glass before pushing it away. "I don't know what to do." He drags his hands down his face. "I know it will make her happy, and I know she wants to be human, but I want us to be together forever." He looks down and scoffs. "Man I'm so selfish," he chastises himself.

"So tell her that. Tell her how you feel," I encourage, placing my hand on his.

"I did, and I was even going to do this," he says, pulling out a ring box from his pocket, "but that was before we got into the fight."

"Oh my god," I gasp, opening the box. In it lies a very beautiful, clear cut, crystal diamond placed on a sterling steel ring. It's extremely beautiful, and I'm shocked my brother has such good taste. "How come you didn't tell me about this!" I slap him on the shoulder.

"I was going to." He shrugs. "I don't know what to do now. She probably hates me."

"She doesn't hate you Damon. You two clearly love each other," I say honestly, shifting my chair so I'm closer beside him. "Do you want kids?" I ask. "Do you want a future with her?"

"Yes. Yes I do." He smiles to himself.

"Then do something about it," I say sternly. "You have to tell her everything you're telling me now. You need to tell her that you just want to be with her for as long as you can. Hell, she's been a vampire for about two years, which means you guys can share the cure with no harm done. She takes the cure and you drink it from her," I suggest.

I can tell the wheels inside his head are spinning as he thinks about it. "You think it'll work? Will she listen?" he asks doubtfully.

"You won't know until you try." I smile, squeezing his arm.

He looks over at me with a beaming smile, his eyes narrowed as if he's smiling through them. "Thank you Blair," he says, kissing me on the forehead. "Goodnight, see you in the morning," he says, messing up my hair before taking off.

"Goodnight," I say, staring at the empty glass of bourbon in my hand.

I never thought that Damon would want to get married, after all we've been through especially. He doesn't seem like that kind of guy, but I guess when you find the one, you find the one. Elena has really changed him, and I appreciate that.

Hell, Elena is one lucky girl. As I think about the excitement of proposals and weddings, I pour myself another shot to hide the jealously I feel burning inside me.

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[completed & edited: 10/31/2021]