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"Even if I can't understand, I'll take the pain. Give me the truth"

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THE AMOUNT OF people I have witnessed come back from the dead is far too many for my mind to handle. I've endured the pain from loosing people only to have the pain miraculously subside with the resurrection of the ones I've lost. It doesn't make any sense, nor should it.

"Y-you're dead, you're gone," I repeat myself, holding an accusing finger up to him.

Damon cautiously sets down the bottle of bourbon as he slowly approaches Stefan and I. Stefan takes my hand tightly as if he's trying to find something that's real, something to hold onto.

"Yes, I was. But now I'm not," Damon speaks slowly, his face contorted into pure sadness and guilt. He's come back to two siblings who are beaten and broken down, one of which is breaking down in front of him while the other won't say a word. Stefan's in shock and I'm a mess.

"Blair," he says, going to touch me but I back away, frightened of his touch. Scared to face the reality that he's real.

Stefan however seems to snap out of his shocked state and abruptly grasps Damon by the shoulders, his eyes lighting up as his hands take in the pressure of Damon's flesh body. "You're real," Stefan gasps and Damon nods.

"Yes," Damon smiles desperately, taking Stefan into a brotherly hug. "I'm real," he laughs, holding on tight to Stefan as they stay in each other's embraces for several seconds.

I however get out of that tomb the first chance I get, needing some air. I seem to be choking on the shock, struggling to breathe in reality. I anxiously scramble out of the tomb and into the dark cemetery, taking deep breaths.

"Blair!" Damon yells, both he and Stefan walking to find me. He rolls his eyes in annoyance when he sees me hyperventilating, but I ignore it. "Why can't you ever accept people coming back from the dead? You'd think you'd be use to it by now!" 

"Damon," Stefan warns, slapping him in the shoulder. "She never trusts her own eyes, you know that. You have to let her feel, force her to believe. She missed you," Stefan explains, giving Damon and encouraging nod. "We both did."

Damon sighs and relaxes a bit, his face softening as he takes in the seriousness of my state. "Blair, listen to me."

I look over at him, my eyes welling up with more tears as he walks towards me. "I'm not going anywhere, Blair," he says. 

I suddenly feel a pit of anger rising from within me, replacing any of the shock that I feel. "How could you?" I growl.

"What- are you mad at me?" he scoffs.

"Mad? You bet I'm mad!" I yell, my voice echoing throughout the empty forest. "You volunteered to trigger an explosion, lied to my face about it! And then, you had Joel snap my neck so that I wouldn't try to stop you, so you could be a goddamn hero. I-I didn't even really get to say goodbye! You did, because you knew the risks! You knew you might not come back, and you didn't! So yeah, I'm mad, because you left me on purpose!" 

"I would never leave you on purpose Blair," he says honestly, walking towards me. I keep walking back, wanting to keep the same distance between us. It appears I've walked too far back as I feel an agonizing pain in my chest, like something is grabbing my heart. I've crossed the anti-magic border.

"You-ah-" I'm cut off as the pain begins to rise, blood seeping through my jacket. The red, hot liquid falls to my hands, the blood visible to Damon as his eyes widen with fear. In an instant he speeds over to me, crossing the border himself before carrying me back, both of us are safe outside the border.

He holds me with both hands, one wrapped around my shoulders and the other on my back, his eyes shining with tears under the moonlight. "I-I can touch you," I stutter, realizing he just saved me. A ghost can't save you, nor can you touch a ghost.

"Yes." 

"You're, you're back?" I ask, although it sounds more like a statement.

"Yes," he repeats, kissing my temple.

It all comes easy now, the reality of it. I have learned to trust my own mind, and Stefan too. I glance over at my twin and smile as several tears escape my eyes, however this time they're tears of joy. "You're back." I laugh, wrapping my trembling arms around his body, holding him close.

I rest my head on his shoulder and breathe in his scent, the comforting scent that makes me feel at home. It suddenly becomes real that my big brother is alive again. 

It seems we picked a perfect day to return to Mystic Falls.

∆ ∆ ∆

I didn't return home until the next morning, as Damon had spent the rest of the night filling us in on his journey. Apparently he had been placed in some prison world with Bonnie, where they met the prisoner named Kai. Damon informed us that Bonnie sacrificed herself to send Damon back, adding onto the list of people she'd sacrificed herself for, and all the more reason we need to get her out. Judging by this Kai guy, I don't feel comfortable with leaving her in there alone with him, and neither does Damon.

However, at the moment we have several problems of our own, one of them being Elena's wiped memories and this new vampire hunter.

"Oh I'm sorry, did I interrupt another AA meeting, or is this the support group, the one where they wipe your memories and send you away?" I snicker bitterly, stepping into Alaric's professor office which is occupied by a frantic James, a nervous Caroline holding a happy Theo, an annoyed Alaric, and a worried Elena. There are too many different emotions in here to be normal.

"Where have you been?" James snaps worriedly, rushing over to me. "I've been trying to contact you all night," he whispers, pointing to his head.

"Well, the bourbon must have disabled that part of my brain. Among many other things," I say in a slurred voice. I may have forgot to mention the three of us Salvatores' spent the majority of the night drinking.

"Are you drunk?" James raises a brow, his hands placed on my arms.

"Maybe." I wink at him, causing him to roll his eyes. He can't hide the small smirk I see forming on his lips however. 

"Blair!" Caroline scolds me, covering Theo's ears as if to protect him from my slurred words.

"Oh relax, I got my brother back okay? I deserved it," I defend myself. 

"How is he?" Alaric asks warily, crossing his arms across his chest.

"Physically he's fine, mentally speaking he's a little rough seeing as you compelled away his girlfriend's memory of him," I sass, scanning his office for any more alcoholic beverages. Luckily, my eyes land on a flask on his desk. "Ooo." I smile, my eyes lighting up when suddenly James vamp speeds over to the desk, grabs the flask and throws it out the open window. 

"Rude." I growl as he sends me a sarcastic smirk.

"I don't want to see him," Elena states.

"That's okay, because Alaric here is just going to take away the compulsion," I say, glaring at Alaric.

"I can't do that." He shakes his head. "Not until she asks me to." 

I scoff and turn to Elena and bend down so I'm facing her in the chair. "Sweetheart, the world doesn't revolve around you, so the sooner you can accept Damon's memories, the sooner we can all move on." I smirk, but she only glares at me.

"Is that why you're all here? To get her to take her memories back?" I laugh, shaking my head. "Here I was almost three years ago in your same position with missing memories, yet my problem was that I couldn't get my memory thief to give them back to me! Yet here you are, the thief right in front of you yet you're turning the offer away!" I continue to laugh. "I don't get you, Elena." I shake my head as I let out a snort.

"Actually, we were discussing on how to get Bonnie back, along with how to handle this vampire hunter," Alaric states, sighing.

"I can help with the vampire hunter part. I'm gonna leave the Bonnie part until I'm sober. That requires a lot of thinking, and I want to do it right," I say seriously.

James steps over to my side, gently pulling me out into the hallway. "What?" I ask him.

"I think you should go home, get some rest and not do anything irrational until you're sober," he explains with worried eyes.

"Are you mad?" I pout.

"No, I'm not mad, I'm just concerned with this hunter thing. We came back to Mystic Falls at a very chaotic time." He chuckles, placing a hand on my shoulder.

"Come on James, when is Mystic Falls ever not chaotic? This has always been our lives, it's what we're use to. Part of why I think Atlanta was so wrong for us. It was too normal." I laugh, my sober mind peaking through my drunken one, but only for a moment.

"I know, but Theo-"

"I can take care of Theo!" I argue.

"You'll watch a toddler while you're vampire hunter hunting?" He raises a brow, a playful smirk on his face.

"So you trust me to let me go slay some vampire hunter's ass?" I giggle, feeling light and playful from the alcohol in my system.

"I trust Caroline to watch over you. Besides, I think you need to let out a little steam," he admits, surprising me a little. "I'll watch Theo for the day, take him around our new town to get him comfortable." 

"That my love is why I love you." I smile, kissing him on the lips quickly.

"I love you too," he says. "Be safe."

"Always."

∆ ∆ ∆

"So..." Caroline speaks up as we trudge through the forest. Matt gave us the location of the cabin this vampire friend of theirs is being held in, so Caroline and I decided to check it out.

"Yes?" I ask, slightly disappointed the bourbon has worn off partially. However, I still feel light and loose which is all I need for now.

"Where are your brothers today?" she asks, making conversation.

"Stefan is god knows where with Damon doing god knows what. Probably compelling Damon clothes seeing as we're locked from our own house," I explain, lifting a branch out of my way as we walk deeper into the forest. "I still haven't figured out what to do with it, the anti-magic border. I tried everything," I sigh in disappointment.

"Me too," Caroline whispers.

"How is your mom? Do you two still visit?" I ask her.

"She's good. I visited her almost everyday for the whole summer." Caroline laughs. "School is fine and everything, but I just wish I could return home," she tells me, mimicking my exact feelings.

"Trust me, so do I," I say while staring up ahead at a small cabin in a clearing. It's a small, old rustic building in the middle of no where, a perfect hang out for holding a vampire captive.

As we stare at the building, I can hear voices inside, two separate voices coming closer. Caroline is much quicker to react opposed to my drunken brain as she vamp speeds us both behind some pile of wood, out of sight of the two men that come walking out from the cabin and into their cars.

"I have no idea why the hell James let you go after a vampire hunter in this state of mind," she says in aggravation, glaring at me. I can tell she's a little fearful seeing as we almost got caught.

I let out a sluggish giggle and send her a wink. "Because he trusts me, and he trusts you. And he doesn't own me. I can do what I want," I say proudly as she pulls me up along with her.

"Maybe he just knows how stubborn you are," she retorts, starting towards the cabin.

"Fair point," I admit, before chasing after her.

Caroline reaches the door first, snapping the lock off with one pull. She opens the heavy metal door and walks in first, me trailing behind. We both stare at the empty space in confusion, seeing as it's got chains and locks, but no vampire to use them for.

"Who did you say was captured?" I raise a brow.

"Enzo," she growls, kicking the wall in anger.

"Well, he's gone," I state the obvious, searching around the room but there's nothing but a few chains, locks and a lot of spilled blood on the floor.

"Thanks tips," Caroline sasses as she storms out of the building.

"I get that you're upset, I mean, I really wanted to kick some vampire hunter ass too-"

"Blair, it's not just that. He, this hunter, he knows people, and he knows my mom. If Enzo told him anything about who we were, we're all in big trouble, and so is my mom for having a vampire of a daughter," she lashes out, overwhelmed with panic.

I can see the concern in her face, hear the fear within her voice which is enough to pull my sober side out for a few seconds, allowing me to focus. "Care, it's going to be okay," I assure her, placing my hands on her shoulders. "We'll figure it out like always. Just like old times." I smile, and she nods.

I release her just as my phone rings, Stefan's name flashing across the glass screen. "You've reached Detective Salvatore, how may I help you?" I greet him, a giant smirk plastered on my face.

"Blair, really now is not the time," he says seriously.

"Why are you like always grumpy. Like always?" I ask childishly, frowning.

"Because nothing ever goes right," he states like it's obvious.

"Well what isn't going right for you this time Stefan? Did you accidentally lose a shoe on the other side of the border?" I joke, laughing at myself. It's something I know Joel would laugh at, and for a split second I feel a small knot in my stomach, my mind suddenly missing him greatly.

"No, but we lost Damon, and I think the hunter plans on driving him along with Enzo over the anti-magic border," Stefan tells me, throwing me off. I didn't expect everything to escalate so quickly.

"Well that's just fan-fucking-tastic now isn't it?" I laugh, although deep down I'm scared to death. Scared of loosing my brother once again.

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[completed & edited: 10/10/2021]