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"Took my soul and wiped it clean. Our love was made for movie screens."

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I COUNT my blinks, slowly and consecutively until I reach ten blinks, but the figure of James still stands in front of me across the bar. People are dancing all around me, around us but as I stare at the ghost of the man I loved before me, every thing seems to be holding still. It's as if everything has been frozen, and the only people that matter are him and me. Just the sight of him ignites a spark inside me that's been dead inside, rotting and smoking from the last time it was lit. .

I hold the drink in my hand and chug it down forgetting my streak of alcohol avoidance, and instead let the burning, bitter taste warm my body. As another waiter walks by I place the empty glass on his tray and then begin to walk towards James in long strides, through a group of people who seem to have suddenly moved to the side, creating the perfect pathway for me to get to James.

He holds a red plastic cup in his hand and a huge grin on his face showing off his perfect smile. Seeing his smile again outside of my dreams brings me to a place I thought I'd never see again. It feels as if I'm slowly being lifted out from the giant hole I've found myself in.

It seems like my feet can't move fast enough, as I keep my eyes on James with every step I take. When I reach him I don't even say a word, because frankly I can't think of a single damn word to say, and I don't think any words would be suitable right now. So instead I wrap my arms around his neck and press my lips firmly to his, letting myself go. As his lips move against mine it feels as if he's blowing the life back into me that he unintentionally sucked out a year and a half ago. I feel myself coming back to life, becoming whole again because the part of me that was missing is miraculously standing in front of me.

Then it hits me.

As my lips move against his, everything I remember about James smacks me right in the face, so hard I feel myself starting to crumble again. I remember his body, still and covered with grey veins. I saw his heart several feet from his body. I remember attending his funeral, and watching as they lowered his casket into the ground. I remember all the nights I spent crying myself to sleep, and slowly all the pain comes back in forcing me to think. The rush that I was engulfed with has abruptly left, and instead I'm left with pure clarity as I realize there's no way James can be standing in front of me right now. There's no way I can be kissing James again, because the James I knew is dead.

I gasp and take my lips off his, stepping back from James. I take a step back expecting to see James's comforting face, wanting him to assure me this is all real but of course I'm left disappointed. Instead I find a man who looks nothing like James, standing with his arms outstretched and a huge smile on his face, staring at me with wild eyes.

I've just kissed a stranger. I just chugged down a glass of alcohol without even thinking twice. The year and a half I spent trying to put myself back together again seems to have gone to waste, as now I feel like I'm right back where I started: lost and broken.

"I-I'm so sorry. I-I have to go," I stutter to the man, turning to walk away when suddenly he grabs ahold of my arm tightly, pulling me back.

He grips my arm with such tightness, my skin starts to throb and burn. Anger and disbelief bubbles up inside me as I turn around to face this man. "Excuse me sir, I would like to go now. This has all been a mistake," I say sternly, but apparently my words don't seem to get though his thick skull.

"You're right where I want you, Blair," the man says, putting a great amount of emphasis on my name- my name in which I never told him.

"How do you know my name?" I gape, everything becoming more and more suspicious by the second.

"That's the question you ask?" he laughs. His laugh is a deep laugh, sending shivers down my spine. This night has suddenly gone from fun to creepy in a matter of five minutes, and right now I want nothing more than to get out of here.

"Let go of me!" I snap, tugging against his grasp, but he's surprisingly strong, suspiciously strong.

Before he has a chance to react, Joel and Logan appear at my side, like the sudden cry of my voice drew them in although I know Joel's vampire hearing probably heard me. "Is there something going on here?" Logan asks calmly, meanwhile Joel walks straight up to the man's face.

"She said let go of her, mate," Joel growls in a tone I've never heard him use before. It's deep and threatening, and it matches James's threatening tone perfectly. I remember all the times James used that tone, and all of the times he did he was protecting me. Although I shouldn't be smiling right now, the memory brings a small, faint smile to the surface of my lips.

"Who are you supposed to be?" the man asks, still holding on tightly to my arm.

"Listen mate, I'm capable of more than you know, and that girl you're holding is my best friend. Now I suggest you let go of her arm before I rip it straight from your socket. It won't be a pleasing sight, but thankfully your screams will be pleasing enough to make up for it," Joel threatens harshly, making Logan take a step back.

"Try me," the man says, his voice showing a lot of confidence, but his answer only makes me wince. I fear what Joel will do, and I can only hope he won't cause a scene. Most importantly, I can only hope he won't draw blood.

With a smile on his face, Joel raises his hand and brings it up straight into the jaw of the man standing in front of me, the sound of bone on bone filling my ears with a sickening smack as Joel's fist makes contact with the man's face. The amount of force Joel put into his punch from his vampire strength sends the man falling backwards to the floor.

"Oh my god," Logan yells, staring at the scene.

I take my arm now free from his grasp and hold it against my chest until the throbbing pain goes away. I turn to Joel who has a wild look in his eyes, as he stares down at the man who struggles to get up. I can tell Joel wants nothing but to drain the blood from his veins, but I know he knows he can't, especially with Logan here. It seems he remembered that and chose to punch his way out of this rather than bite.

"Joel," I say, grabbing his arm. "We need to get out of here," I say.

He shakes his hand and looks at me. "No, I'm not letting this punk ruin my night," he says, glancing between Logan and I. To be honest Logan doesn't seem to phased, but that's probably just because of the amount of alcohol in him right now.

"Joel," I say calmly. "I appreciate you sticking up for me, I really do but you just knocked a guy out in front of a bar of people," I say, glancing around at everyone who surrounds us. The music still blares, and the lights still flicker and soon people begin dancing again but I still can't think straight. Frankly, I think everyone around us is too drunk to realize what just happened, Joel and Logan included. If I'm being totally honest here, my mind is beginning to fuzz up, but I only had that one drink.

"Hell with that!" Joel screams, before disappearing with Logan into the crowds of dancing people.

Once again I'm left alone in a crowd of people, an unconscious man laying on the floor beside me. My hands begin to tremble and my eyes well with tears as I think back to five minutes ago when I thought I was kissing James. That moment was so perfect, yet I can't understand why I would allow myself to get so lost in my thoughts, so lost in my memory that haunts of James.

My head begins to feel light and my eyes begin to see dots in the corner of my vision as I try to process it all. I grip someone's shoulder to prevent myself from falling over as I attempt to think straight, but everything begins to blur together. My eyesight becomes weak, my body heats up and shakes, and my hearing becomes blurred. The voices, yelling and music mix together to create a tedious ringing sound in my ears, and I find myself scrambling to the bathroom.

I push right past everyone and enter the bathroom, only having to push past even more people who found a public washroom the best place to make out. I go straight for a stall and shut the door before leaning over the toilet, but nothing comes out. I feel faint and dizzy and before I know it I fall to the ground, my head bouncing off the tiled floor as whatever's intoxicated me takes over.

My eyelids droop over my eyes and I find myself staring at a pair of black boots walking towards me, opening my stall and picking me up. Before my mind can register who found me, my body shuts down and I have an odd feeling that my current state has something to do with the mysterious drink I poured down my throat not ten minutes ago.

∆ ∆ ∆

JOEL POV

I have no idea what part of me even thought coming to this club would be a good idea. The loud music, smelly humans and stupid people never appealed to me, but as I jump up and down to the music with a red plastic cup of vodka in my hand, I can't be more happier that I decided to come. Everyone around me reeks of alcohol and are already starting to show signs of stupidity, although it appears I have also become one of those stupid people.

I let myself loose, a little too loose for my liking after the terrible year and a half I had. Never in my life have I had this much alcohol in a short period of time, and never have I ever felt this out of it. Vampire's don't get drunk easily, but already it's appears I've crossed the line from drunk, to super drunk and at this point there's no turning back. I sure as hell know this, so I don't stop partying.

By now I've totally forgotten about the punch I threw at that dick head that was harassing Blair, and instead put my focus on Logan who dances beside me. Blood stains my knuckles as the cuts on my hand have healed, but Logan seems to notice this.

"Joel, are you alright? Your knuckles, they're.." Logan says, but my drunken mind cuts his droopy mind off.

"I'm as good as can be," I say, my words slurred as I hope the amount of alcohol in Logan's system won't let him realize my cuts have miraculously healed themselves.

Instead Logan smiles, and our shoulders brush against one another's as we dance. As our bodies touch I feel the slightest tingle travel up my arm, spreading a warm feel of electricity throughout my body, a feeling I haven't felt in a long time.

I slowly glance to my left at Logan, wanting to admire his features once more but he's already glancing over at me. He has a huge grin on his face, and in this moment every inch of me is pulling me towards Logan in a magical way. Maybe it's just the amount of alcohol streaming through my veins right now, or maybe I'm actually starting to feel something for this man I just met. This second, this moment feels so right, I lean in and before I know it, my lips are pressed on his.

Just as I realize what I'm doing, my mind wakes up and tells me to pull back, but just before I do Logan begins to give in to the kiss, becoming less stiff. He places his hands on my cheek as everything around us holds still. Through my heavily intoxicated brain, I manage to focus on the man in front of me, not thinking about how this action may cause problems later. After all, I know nothing about Logan, other than it was Blair who brought us together.

Blair.

It suddenly dawns on me that I haven't seen or heard from Blair in almost an hour, and that was an hour ago when I knocked out that man. I abruptly break apart from the kiss and glance around anxiously looking for Blair, but I find that the man who was previously unconscious on the ground is now gone, which only makes the fear expand through me at a quicker pace.

"What's wrong?" Logan yells over the music, although my vampire hearing would've heard him fine if he whispered.

"Have you seen Blair?" I yell.

He shakes his head and begins to look around, looking for Blair also. I can see the concern in his eyes and that makes me like him even more knowing Blair had good friends to support her while her life was falling apart. Maybe, just maybe Logan is someone who can fix me too.

"I don't see Christina around anywhere either," Logan yells.

"I'll check the bathroom," I say, before pushing my way through the crowd.

I enter the girl's bathroom without hesitation, avoiding glancing at random couples that are making out around me and instead focus on the bathroom stalls which are all empty.

"Blair?" I yell, but there's no reply.

Shaking my head, I exit the bathroom and find Logan who seems just as nervous as I am. As genuine concern begins to break through, I find my brain having a hard time focusing as just a few moments ago I was partying harder than I ever have in a thousand years.

"Maybe her and Christina went home," Logan suggests, and I nod although I don't believe that's what happened.

"Maybe," I say, exiting the bar.

Logan and I stand outside in the cold night, glancing around. My eyes however land directly on Blair's car, her precious Audi. "Her car, it's still here," I say.

"Maybe she and Christina hulled a cab," Logan suggests.

"But Blair wouldn't drink, she refused to. She said she wouldn't let herself get that far," I say, trying to think. Blair would never leave her car unattended, and she wouldn't leave without telling me first. Would she?

"Logan look, I had a great time tonight, but I have to go. Maybe Blair's home," I say, hulling a cab.

"Hey man, I can help you find her," Logan argues, his words deeply slurred. I know in his state, we won't get anything done, and I however can already feel the effects of the alcohol wearing off due to my healing abilities.

"Thanks Logan, but I think you should get some rest," I say, opening the cab door for him.

Logan purses his lips but nods, giving me one last glance before entering the cab and driving away. As his cab drives away, I hail another one and hop inside.

∆ ∆ ∆

It takes a total of twenty minutes to reach Blair's house, and I take no time to storm inside. Apparently my presence scares the babysitter, as she screams as soon as I open the door.

"Ah, sorry," I say, closing the door. The babysitter is a young girl, probably a neighbour. "Is Blair home yet?" I ask.

"No, and she said she'd be home an hour ago," the babysitter says, crossing her arms across her chest. "Theo is in bed, and I'm ready to go home," she says, holding out her hand and rubbing her fingers together, expecting me to pay her.

I hesitate and reach into my pocket. "Ah..," I stutter, reaching around for any change. Lucky I am able to find ten dollars stuffed in my pocket. "Here," I say, handing it to her.

She takes it and glances up at me like she's expecting more. "That's it? I worked four hours!" 

I speed in front of her and grab her by the shoulders. "You know what I earned back in my day? Food. I got food in return for jobs. Not money, not cheques, but a loaf of bread. Now, forget you were here and leave," I compel her, before snatching the ten dollar bill from her hand.

She does as I say and exits the house, leaving me alone. The house is quiet and empty, with random lights on. It's the first time I actually manage to take a close look at Blair's new house, and frankly it's pretty nice.

I turn and walk up the stairs, passing several pictures hung on the wall. Immediately my eyes land on a picture of Blair and James, taken at prom. I purse my lips and swallow the lump in my throat before continuing up the stairs and opening Theo's door. To my relief, Theo is snuggled up in his tiny bed, his shallow snoring detectable to my ears.

I sigh and close the door before leaning against it, holding my head in my hands. I barely remember what happened tonight, and I find myself scared and terrified for my best friend. I was supposed to look out for her, supposed to be there for her, and yet I have failed her again.

Because I have no idea where the hell Blair Salvatore is.

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[completed & edited: 09/16/2021]