PART TWELVE: THE AWAKENING

I'VE LEARNED a lot in my thousand years of life. I've been through the typical ups and downs that a regular person would experience during one lifetime, but rather repeated over and over with each century that passed.

I've learned how to survive pain, how to pick myself up. I've felt betrayal and learned the value of loyalty. I've experienced all sorts of emotions on a daily basis as I chased Klaus: fear, joy, anger. There is only one emotion however that I only truly experienced once, and that happened to be love.

The most valuable thing I have learned from love is patience. Deep, real love is something that one doesn't often come across, and most have to wait for what feels like a lifetime to truly experience the full potential of their capacity to love.

That's what Blair did to me. She revealed a side to me I never knew I had, a side I thought died with my human self. She taught me that my past doesn't decide my future, that who I was doesn't define who I am.

It's been 145 years since that treacherous night of 1864, which marks the worst night of my life. Each day has felt so long, longer than all the other 1009 years of my life. But, love taught me patience, and Blair is someone worth waiting for.

My love for her knows no time but forever.

The fact that Klaus confirmed that Blair is still alive is something that gets me going every single day. Because of him I now have a new purpose, a new sense of hope. Hell, as much as I hate to admit it, if I wasn't turned a thousand years ago, I would have never met Blair, and everything I'm doing right now wouldn't be happening.

I know Blair is out there somewhere, and with the help of Elijah, Lexi and Stefan, I've been searching deep for information as to what actually happened that night. Klaus informed me that I shouldn't be following him, but instead Katherine.

That rather confused me at first as I thought Katherine died in the church fire of 1864. However, if Katherine isn't really dead, than perhaps she can help answer my questions about Blair's disappearance. If she managed to escape the council's wrath, than maybe Blair did too. Maybe Klaus compelled Katherine to kidnap her.

My mind has become buzzed with theories and assumptions.

On another note, Lexi managed to flip Stefan's humanity switch on again, two years after that night at the Chicago bar. Since then Stefan's come to his senses, and even helped me search for Blair.

"Blair? " I call out to my mind, trying to reach out to her once again. I've done so like this every couple of months.

As I wait for a response, I lean my head against my hand, casually riding down some back roads in my beloved black pick up truck. I fell in love with it the first time I saw it five years ago, and considering it's now the 20th century, I figured I might as well adopt the trend of owning my own car.

"Blair can you hear me?" I press harder on the gas subconsciously, not realizing how high my brain is on anticipation right now.

"Hello? Blair?" I call again, frowning once there's no response.

I figured as much, but it's still worth a shot.

As I speed down the back road, my eyes flicker up to an oncoming sign, welcoming me back into a ghostly town.

MYSTIC FALLS

I haven't been back here since 1997 when I found out a Bennett witch had moved here. She refused to speak to me, so that was pretty much a dead end. I had hoped that seeing as she was a distant relative of Emily Bennett, she would want to help out. It appeared witches had developed more of a hatred for vampires. It was a shame really, as before times were different. A vampire and witch if allied together could make the ultimate power couple.

Lexi invited me back here after insisting I join her and Stefan to celebrate his 162 birthday. After hesitating for several months about the invitation, I finally gave in and agreed to come. With all my days spent on research and travelling I convinced myself I deserved a break.

I pull up to the familiar long driveway of the Salvatore Boarding house, the one that's been vacant for decades. It's owned by the Salvatore brothers, yet they don't even live in it half the time. I'm surprised to hear Stefan's back in town, which only draws suspicion that something more is happening here. The last time I was at this house was 1997, when I decided to crash here. At the time, nobody was home as per usual seeing as the brothers still have their sibling rivalry.

I don't even bother knocking as I enter through the front door. I figure if Stefan allows me to crash here whenever I want, it's unnecessary to start asking permission to enter now . It's fair to say Stefan and I have gotten close over the years. Seeing as I haven't seen Elijah in a few decades, I was lacking friends.

I haven't even heard from Rose, despite all the letters I've sent to her. It's as if she's disappeared, our last encounter being centuries ago. My heart aches as I remember our bond, but I feel confident enough in her strength to believe she's okay.

As I close the door, I toss my jacket on the hall table, walking through the hallway while listening for any presence in the house. Just when I think I'm alone, I hear a sweet melody of laughter coming from the living room, the voice belonging to none other than my sister Lexi.

"BIG BROTHER IS THAT YOU?" Lexi shouts from the living room.

I reach the end of the hallway and stand at the top step, smiling at her from across the room. "Who else would it be?" I tease, stuffing my hands in the pockets of my jeans. I still can't get use to how much fashion has changed over the years. I'm not complaining however, as I much rather jeans and short flowy hair than doublets and ratted shoulder length hair. However I see that longer hair on men is making a comeback, even 'man buns' which makes me silently cringe every time I think about it. The past is supposed to stay the past. I think that trend ended for a reason.

Lexi jumps up off the couch and runs towards me, embracing me in a gigantic bear hug. "I'm so glad you came."

"Oh come on, you don't think I'd miss Stefan's 162 birthday now do you?" I smile against her ear, releasing her once a pair of footsteps sounds behind me.

"How thoughtful of you," Stefan muses, holding out his hand for me to shake.

I stare at his outstretched hand like he's just told me to drink the juice from the pickle jar, looking at it in confusion. A smile creeps onto my face as I dismiss his hand, embracing him in a friendly hug.

"I think you deserve a birthday hug," I joke while patting him on the back, breaking apart after only a few seconds.

"Thank you for coming though, seriously." Stefan returns to his blank, stoic expression. "It's good to see you again," he says lowly, allowing me to read between the lines.

Seeing as Stefan is Blair's twin, we both know this day will be bitter sweet.

Lexi stands at the sidelines, watching our brotherly interaction before clapping loudly. "You guys have come so far! GROUP HUG!" she squeals, wrapping her arms around Stefan and I.

With raw laughter and pleasant smiles, we stay like that for a few seconds before our joy is interrupted by another presence approaching us from behind.

"Why am I not invited in on this intimate embrace?"

We break apart, my gaze directed to a pair of intense, icy blue eyes identical to those of Blair's.

Damn, I forgot how much they look alike. Hell, I forgot how much the are alike. Blair is like a little Damon.

"Damon," I gape, dazed and confused as to why he's here. I never thought I'd see the day Stefan and Damon would be in the same room together and not want to tear each other's heads off. "You're back in Mystic Falls?" I question.

"Well when little Steffy here decided to return, I decided I should too seeing as I haven't failed at my promise of making his life a living hell," Damon slurs, shooting Stefan a glare. "Besides, Stefan's also found a new girl to admire, so I figured that should be some fun." This causes Stefan to go tense, his love for this mysterious girl causing him to become defensive.

It appears I was wrong. I guess they're keeping their hatred towards one another more civil this time.

"So that's the only reason you came?" I ask Damon, my analytical gaze studying him. I can't help but shake the feeling there's something more to the reason he came here.

He stares at me, his blue eyes wide as if he's deflecting my gaze from sneaking past his lies. "Yes," he says succinctly, not elaborating further.

"How's your hunt for Blair going?" he asks, and I can't quite tell if he's being serious. As far as I know he gave up on searching for Blair. I keep holding onto the fact that Blair did not die in the church fire, but rather was taken somewhere else by Klaus. There is absolutely no proof that she was ever brought to that church.

I still don't understand why Klaus told me to focus on Katherine, seeing as she's supposed to be dead. I haven't heard anything from her for a good century, and seeing as that's Katherine Pierce we're talking about, that's rather out of her nature. She has a reputation, so word about her presence spreads fast. If she were alive, I would know it... wouldn't I?

"Did you find her body yet?" Damon tests me, knowing just how to get under his nerves. He likes to pick at the fact that I have been so persistent on finding Blair, travelled to fifty witches and everything. I would love to see the look on his face when I find Blair alive.

"Alright, that's enough." Lexi steps in before I get a chance to swing my clenched fist I'm so strongly restraining at my side.

"Everybody go get your dancing shoes on because we're going to the bar tonight. We've got a birthday to celebrate," she instructs firmly, leaving no room for arguing.

∆ ∆ ∆

Although I miss classical music, the new music of the twenty first century isn't all that bad. The Mystic Grill is blaring the pop soundtrack through the streets, welcoming in all that stroll by. This sure looks like one hell of a party.

Lexi leads us in and grabs us a table, disappearing shortly after to grab us some drinks. Damon suspiciously disappeared the second we walked through the door, leaving just Stefan and I to brood contently at the table.

"So," I glance across the table at Stefan. "This girl you fancy, what's she like?" I ask.

Stefan smiles down at his hands, his cheeks blushing slightly. It takes a lot to get a vampire to blush, I can tell you that.

"Her name is Elena," he begins, meeting my eye, "and she's the only girl to ever make me feel human." He smiles contently.

"Not even Katherine?" I tease lightly, referring back to when Katherine compelled him to love her. I think enough decades have passed making it appropriate to laugh at now.

"Noooo." He chuckles, shaking his head as if to rid it of that dark memory. "You should know though James, that Elena-"

"Hey!" A pretty blonde greets, stopping at the end of our booth. "I'm so glad you came Stefan!"

"Of course Caroline. Thanks for throwing it, you did a wonderful job as always," he compliments, speaking candidly as always. His honesty and loyalty reminds me of a certain distant Original. Maybe that's why I made such good friends with him.

The blonde, Caroline, turns to leave when suddenly she lays eyes on me, staring at me as if she just realized I was sitting here. Her whole expression changes as she narrows her eyes seductively at me, stepping closer to my side of the booth.

"Who are you?" She smirks slyly, leaning on the table.

Not wanting to be rude, I stretch out my hand. "James. Nice to meet you Caroline." I smile kindly.

"Nice to meet you too James," she says whilst shaking my hand. "What brings you to Mystic Falls." She starts a conversation, moving to sit beside me.

Here we go, I think.

I'm ready to resort to my shameless way of compulsion when a brunette saves the day . Never in my 145 years without Blair have I looked twice at any female, or male for that matter that's shown interest in me. I can't reciprocate any type of feeling knowing my true love is still alive somewhere.

"Come on Care, they need help assigning tables," the brunette says, her face still hidden from me.

Caroline stares at me a second longer before walking away, leaving the brunette standing here, staring at Stefan. "Elena, this is James. James, this is Elena," Stefan introduces the two of us.

Elena turns her head to look my way, a smile on her face as she holds out her hand.

Everything within me freezes, the blood in my veins turning into heavy lead. Elena wears the smile of the devil.

Out of instinct and natural fight response, I go to stand, intending to strangle the girl when suddenly Stefan kicks me harshly under the table.

Confused, Elena pulls her hand away when I don't shake it, looking to Stefan for answers. "He's going through some stuff right now. I'll catch up with you later," he dismisses casually.

Elena doesn't question anything, only nods before walking away. While watching her leave out of my peripheral vision, I keep a hard glare on Stefan, my body filled with an explosive cocktail of anger and confusion.

"That James, was my exact reaction." Lexi laughs to herself, placing three glasses of bourbon on the table.

"You fell in love with a Katherine look-alike?" I stammer, completely baffled. "How do you know that's not Katherine in disguise!" I ask incredulously.

Stefan throws his hands up in defence, overwhelmed by my questions. "She's human! And she's nothing like Katherine, I swear!"

"He's right James, I've met her. She's like the angle version of the devil bitch." Lexi raises her glass and chugs down its contents.

I turn to Stefan, my brows raised as if silently demanding answers. Stefan only sighs before explaining everything about Elena. He tells me about the Petrova dopplegangers, about Elena's horrid accident last year where she lost her parents. As he tells me all this with such confidence, such certainty, I know that he loves her. His words speak for his heart.

"You should know something though, James," Stefan says after the silence has caught up to us. I noticed that he only begun talking once Lexi left to dance, meaning I better listen closely.

"There's more to the reason of making my life a living hell as to why Damon came back to Mystic Falls," he begins, my attention glued to him. I knew there was something more.

"Believe it or not, Damon's been following leads as to what the council did that night in 1864," he explains, surprising me. "He won't admit it, but there's a part of him that suspects something else happened that night."

"Do you?" I wonder, interrupting him.

He pauses, contemplating his answer. "I know my father, and as much as he hates vampires, I don't think he would have burned them all in one place." Stefan ponders, speaking as if he's been thinking about this for a while. "He was smart, but with his hatred for vampires I believe he would have wanted them to suffer infinitively."

"So you think he's stuffed Katherine and Blair in some place to rot?" I furrow my brows, the whole idea not quite registering in my brain. I've been so set on blaming Klaus for her disappearance that I refuse to believe in any other option.

"That's what Damon appears to think. What's your opinion?"

I lick my lips, inhaling deeply. "I think Klaus has something to do with her disappearance," I state, thinking back to what Emily Bennett said.

If I tried to aid in her escape, he would have killed us both

I have no doubt the 'he' Emily was talking about was Klaus.

"So what does Damon plan to do?" I ask, deciding to hear him out.

"He's planning on finding some burial ground, a place where a bunch of vampires could be stored to rot." He explains with a gloom expression, leading me to believe he's hiding something.

"Be honest with me Stefan, who is he really looking for? You both believe Blair is dead," I contemplate, although I know what he's going to say.

He sighs, running a hand through his hair. "He's looking for Katherine," he concedes.

"Does he think Blair will be where Katherine is?" I ask, and Stefan nods.

"And what if Katherine's not there? What if she's really dead? OR, what if she's actually alive?" I ramble out all at once.

"I think you've just answered your own question." Stefan chugs down the rest of his drink, just when Lexi comes and grabs him.

"Come on birthday boy! You owe me a dance!" she cheers, practically dragging him out onto the floor of dancing people.

I sit there brooding in my thoughts, running a hand through my hair stressfully. Part of me knows Katherine is too smart to simply get captured and meet her fate so briefly. Clearly Klaus knows something seeing as he's still looking for the moonstone. Last I heard Katherine had it, which means Klaus would've been able to grab it before she burned to death. That means she must have either traded it or lost it, and knowing Katherine I'm willing to bet she traded it for her safety.

The devil herself faked her own death.

Maybe you shouldn't be so concerned as to where I am, but where Katherine is not

Everyone believed Katherine burned in the church fire. That's where she should have died, but perhaps she didn't. This means it's worth looking into what happened at the scene of that fire the night of 1864. I make a mental note to check out the old ashes of the burned down church tomorrow. Right now I'm too buzzed with the affects of alcohol to do anything, let alone drive. I'm not a stupid drunk.

Jesus Lexi, what did you put in this drink?

I find myself ordering drink after drink, joining my sister in the occasional dance. Soon after things quiet down, and I join Stefan in a game of pool. It feels nice to reconnect with old friends, settle down for a day just to feel alive again.

After beating Stefan for the third time tonight at pool, I decide to head outside for some fresh air. I've been to hundreds of parties over the years, and sometimes the crowds of people and blasting music can get to be too much. Call me old.

I open the door to an alleyway outside the Grill, instantly freezing at a very strong odour. To humans it may seem foul, but to a vampire it's like smelling flowers.

To my horror I spot a mangled dead body sitting in a pool of blood, the corpse surrounded by police tape. The victim was no doubt killed by a vampire, the torn flesh and violent markings clearly resembling that of an animal. The only question that remains is, who the hell did it?

I know Stefan didn't, nor Lexi since I've been with them all night. That only leaves one person: Damon.

Judging by the police tape, the authorities have already found the body meaning they're ready to make a move. Immediately I turn around, running back inside.

As I struggle to push through the crowd, I watch in the distance as a group of officers head to the bar, clearly looking for someone specific.

My eyes land on Lexi and Damon sitting casually at the bar, their conversation interrupted as one of the officers stab my sister with a needle. Vervain.

How the hell do they know about vampires?

Oh right. This is Mystic Freaking Falls.

"No!" I shout, although my voice is drowned out by the music.

I push more firmly to clear a path through the dancing people, struggling to reach my sister who is being dragged out by police officers. I make eye contact with Stefan in the distance, and together the two of us make our way outside, scrambling to find an exit that isn't blocked off by officers.

My whole body jumps at the sound of a gunshot in the distance, followed by another after. In total there are five gunshots, all of them echoing from outside. This only encourages Stefan and I to run faster, Elena on our tail.

As we turn the corner we witness Lexi pushing the officers off of her, the one female officer firing her weapon. It doesn't do much to Lexi seeing as she's a vampire, only causing her to become angered. She bares her fangs out of anger, the vervain not doing much considering she's a thousand years old just like me.

"Lexi stop!" I yell at her, and for a split second she turns my way, no longer running towards the female officer she was no doubt about to kill.

We lock eyes for what feels like forever, her fingers shaking and her hands bloodied. She's afraid, caught up in whatever feud this town still has with vampires. She stares down at her hands, as if she's afraid of herself. I know she didn't mean to hurt anyone. She was vervained, stabbed and dragged away with no explanation. She is just scared.

It's been so long since either of us have lost control, and to see her falling back into the trap of violence makes my heart ache. This isn't us, this isn't what we do and she knows that. With tears in her eyes that shine with the reflection of the moonlight, she starts walking towards me.

"James, I'm sorr-"

She pauses, a gasp escaping her lips.

Confused, I sprint towards her with open arms, wanting to embrace her when suddenly she falls forwards, lifeless. Before the horror strikes my brain, I lay eyes on Damon standing behind her, just watching her body fall while holding a bloodied wooden stake in hand, his face stoic and calm.

Everything seems to happen in slow motion.

My life of a thousand years has flown by me so fast, yet this is the one moment where it decides to slow things down, smothering me with time to watch my sister die.

I reach her before she can hit the ground, before her head can bounce off the pavement. I cradle her fragile body with her head rested on my arm, her hand tightly grasping onto mine. I feel the blood soak onto my shirt, the warm liquid coating my skin like a fresh can of paint. I watch as her skin becomes decorated in grey veins, travelling from her heart to her face.

She keeps her eyes on me, her lips parted as she attempts to say one last thing. "I love y-"

Before she can finish the grey veins consume her body, attacking her face. Her grip on my hand relaxes, her hand feeling more like a stone. Just by touching it you wouldn't know it use to be human flesh.

There's an estranged look on Damon's face as he stares apathetically down at me, his lips pressed in a stern line and his brows ceased in concentration. I scan his eyes for any sort of emotion, any sort of regret, but there is none.

He just killed my sister, right in front of me.

He just staked her like it was no big deal, like it didn't matter he took away her life, a part of my life.

Then, everything inside of me snaps.

"YOU BASTARD!" I bellow, a whole other side to be unleashed. Inside me is an anger I haven't felt since the day Klaus turned me into a vampire.

Without even thinking I stand to pounce on Damon, my knuckles already formed to throw a punch. I intend to punch until I physically can't any longer, until I shatter all the bones in my hand. I have no intention of stopping once my fist makes contact with his cowardice face.

"James! Don't!" Stefan suddenly appears behind me, pulling my raised fist back, restraining me. I don't even get one punch in, not that that would satisfy my anger anyways.

He bends down to my level where I kneel on top of Damon, his lips pressed close to my ear. "If you defend her, they'll assume you're a vampire and take you in, not to mention assault charge they'll place on you," he reasons, his own voice shaking.

Assault charges? Damon just committed bloody murder!

Lexi was Stefan's friend too, and now she's dead. I always thought this rivalry between the Salvatore brothers would stay just between the two of them, but now it's interfered with my family, with my life, and I can't let that stand.

"JAMES!" Stefan yells at me, forcing me to look at him.

I glance between him and Damon, glaring at the female police officer for a moment before reality kicks in.

With a heavy heart and glassy eyes, I release my choke hold on Damon and stand up.

I turn and leave, not daring to look back. I hop in my truck and rev the engine out of the parking lot, speeding down the street towards the highway, with no intention of returning.

∆ ∆ ∆

I drive hours on end until I reach the nearest town. I stay one night at each passing motel, no particular destination in mind. I just wanted to get out of there, get out of that evil town. Nothing good has every happened there, so I don't know why I thought this time would be different.

Every time I think about that night, I think about all the things I could have done differently. If only I hadn't needed to go outside, I could've stayed by Lexi's side, protected her. If only I kept an eye on Damon, I could have prevented her death.

I couldn't even give my sister a god damn funeral, as taking her body would cause suspicion on me, ending in my death. Stefan was right about not wanting to get on the council's radar. If they knew I was a vampire too, they'd kill me in a heartbeat.

By now it's been almost two weeks since her murder, and I still have failed to comprehend it all. Stefan calls me everyday, leaving messages to explain what happened, explained that Damon had this grand plan to win the Sheriff's trust blah blah blah. I can tell by the tone of his voice in the messages that he doesn't believe it either.

Stefan told me Damon had changed for the worse, that he wasn't the same kid from 1864. I was just too naive to believe him.

I've ended up in some place called Charles City, just outside of Mystic Falls. I don't really know why I'm here. I don't want to be anywhere actually. I feel completely dead inside, with no point to living.

I've held up hope for so long, always making it through each day hoping to strive closer to happiness, but I feel as if that's all fallen apart. Lexi was one of the only people keeping me going, pushing me to keep searching for my brother. But now she's gone, and my only friend remaining has a brother that just killed my sister. To return to him would mean having to face Damon again, and I don't think I can do that. I would turn to Elijah, but I have no clue where he is anymore.

Every part of me still wants to find Blair, but I have no physical nor mental strength to keep looking. I feel as if I'm on my last straw, staring at death's row.

I sit in my hotel room overlooking the small city, laying on my bed and brooding in my thoughts while staring at the ceiling. The more I ponder, the more I become lost in my incessant, persuasive thoughts that lead me down a dark path.

Maybe Blair really is dead. Hell, maybe she's been dead this entire time. Now Lexi's dead, and I feel with the two of them gone, I have no reason to live.

I know it sounds weak, but I've been strong my whole life. I'm done putting up a fight.

I grab my phone and hold it tightly in my hand, pressing harder as I squeeze my fingers against the glass. I don't want to get anymore calls from Stefan, listen to anymore of his messages. I squeeze the phone in my hand until the screen smashes, the glass cracking into my flesh.

There's a part of me that enjoys having to endure the pain of the glass slicing through my skin as it helps distract me from the guilt, regret and sorrow my heart has consumed. I continue to tear the phone apart until its in bits and pieces, until I'm sure it will no longer work.

I lay there unsatisfied, thinking of more ways I can distract myself from this pain. I roll my eyes as I can practically hear my sister's voice scolding me inside my head.

It causes a smile to form on my face just thinking back to all the times she scolded me, even though I'm supposed to be the one scolding her. I was her big brother after all. That's the key word though, was.

Her words from 1864 flood into my mind.

"You can't just let a girl like her slip through your fingers. Maybe all those centuries of forgetting about love was meant to bring you to this exact point. I can only advise that you not to ignore the screams the universe is shouting at you"

Lexi was right, still is right. Blair is someone who I can't just let slip by, and even though she may be dead, I can't rest until I know for certain.

Out of a last chance, my last flicker of hope, I call out to Blair again, preparing myself for disappointment.

"Blair, are you there?" I close my eyes, trying to better concentrate. "You don't have to be afraid, just answer."

I wait several seconds, a string of anticipation floating around this empty hotel room.

"Blair?" I try one last time.

I gulp when I don't hear anything, accepting the reality that if she hasn't contacted me once in the past 145 years, she isn't about to start n-

"Hello?"

I hold my breath, everything in me freezing. Did-did she just- did someone just respond?

"Hello?" I react immediately, wanting to see if that voice wasn't just a figment of my imagination, playing tricks with me to ease my mind.

"Hello? Hello? Blair is that you?" I call out anxiously, my nerves lit on fire.

Just when I don't think anyone's going to respond, I hear a voice, the voice. It's raspy and clear, shy yet confident just like Blair's.

"How do you know my name?" she asks.

I can't help but smile at the fact that that's the first thing she chooses to ask.

"I've been looking for you Blair for so many years. Where have you been? Where are you? I'll come find you," I ask all at once.

"Blair?" I call out when she doesn't respond.

"Stop!" she suddenly yells, her voice ringing in my head.

"Stop talking! I have no idea who you are, and I have no idea what's going on! I'm freaked out!" She starts to panic, and I begin to become worried. Does she not remember me, recognize my voice?

"Blair, listen to me I-" I try to say calmly, but she won't listen to it. Even by the sound of her voice I can hear her old stubborn self.

"Stop, stop, stop!"

She shouts frantically in our minds, panicked. I feel incredibly guilty knowing I have overwhelmed her, so I shyly call out to her again. "Blair?"

After that, there's no response. It's as if our reception has been cut off. The thing with reception however, is that you can always pick it up again.

∆ ∆ ∆

Just like that, I feel alive once more. Just the sound of her voice is enough to put me back on track, give me hope. Suddenly my body feels light with content, my veins filled with excitement as I sense in the near future I'll be witnessing her icy blue eyes again.

It's been a few days since Blair first made contact with me. I've been too nervous to say or try to call out anymore, afraid that I'll frighten her once more. I've been looking for her for so long, the last thing I want to do is scare her off. My stomach fills with guilt as I realize she must think she's crazy. I would too if I was speaking to voices in my head.

If I knew where the hell Blair was, I'd be driving in my truck right now heading for her. I know her well enough that she's too stubborn to just give away her location on the first try, so I've paced myself in the amount of times I contact her.

Let's just say the past few days have been the longest in my life, and that's pretty long taking in considering the total amount of days I've lived.

To help pass the time I hit the road and end up in a nearby city called Jamestown, Virginia as ironic as that sounds. I didn't even mean to stay here, I just kind of needed a place to stay and this was the town that happened to be close by. Honestly it makes me uncomfortable.

I stand out on the porch of my motel room, a crappy cup of coffee in hand to calm my nerves. I think back to a time when I would usually resort to cigarettes to help ease the stress. Nowadays when you pull out a cigarette you get ridiculed by fake coughs and dirty looks. Oh how the times change.

Conjuring up the nerve to ask once again, I close my eyes and speak with my thoughts.

"Blair, where are you?" I ask simply, hoping I don't freak her out once more.

Not a full second later I hear a groggily, sleepy voice respond.

"Home," she says.

I don't even blink before I hope in my truck, speeding out of the parking lot and hitting the highway.

∆ ∆ ∆

Jamestown is only a two hour drive away from Mystic Falls, yet I didn't arrive back to the estranged town until two days later. My truck hit some issues on the road; one tire went flat and another one stabbed with a stray screw, both injuries that required it be brought back to a shop. Seeing as I was out in the middle of nowhere, it took a while.

In addition I was filled with nerves, anxiety and fear of seeing Blair again. I can't help but wonder if she even still likes me. What if she doesn't feel that way and I've wasted 145 years?

No, even if she doesn't like me, I know I haven't wasted 145 years. Nothing involving Blair is ever a waste of time, even if she breaks my heart.

My heart's been crushed too recently, still healing from the pain of loosing Lexi. I can only hope that the sight of Blair, the feel of her in my arms will heal me, set everything right.

Even now as I pull into the driveway of the Salvatore Boarding house in the late evening, I feel nothing but excitement as I head inside. The fear and anxiety are all emotions just on the surface. Deep down I am ecstatic to see the one girl who managed to steal my heart. She's the one that's been worth waiting for.

"Hello?" I call, strolling through the front door seeing as it was unlocked. The brothers never lock their doors.

The lights are off, nothing but a flicker of the flame coming from the fireplace illuminating the giant living room. I stand still, listening for any sound but there is none. No one is here.

Wanting to pass more time, I head up the steps, flinching every time the old wood creeks. I keep my hands in my pockets to contain the trembling of my fingertips, my heart beating a thousand miles a minute. Only Blair can make me nervous in the good kind of way.

I curiously walk through the hallway, peaking in each room. It's funny how I can tell which room belongs to which brother. Stefan's is filled with mainly bookshelves and a desk with a bed located in the corner while Damon's has the bed placed right front and centre.

I reach one room however down the hall that is shut, a familiar sweet smell radiating from it. Slowly and cautiously I twist the handle, opening the rustic door all the way.

The room gives off a female vibe, the walls painted a chocolate brown, with white curtains and neutral pillows covering the white bed. I suddenly realize that chocolate brown is one of Blair's favourite colours; that and everest green.

Curious, I walk over to the desk placed in the corner and lay eyes on the single sketch on the desk. It's that of a rose, identical to the one I saw Blair draw back in 1863. It's astonishing that it's still here after all those years.

This room screams of Blair, comforts me with her presence. My heart skips a beat as I notice her bed isn't entirely made, the wrinkles in the sheets hinting that Blair's been sleeping here. I feel entirely stupid now for crushing my phone, as Stefan could have called me the moment they knew Blair was alive . I have to make a mental note of buying a new one.

I jump out of my thoughts as I hear the front door open, two pairs of footsteps walking through.

"Whoever thought it was okay to park your gorgeous and beautiful and elegant truck in our drive way, you thought wrong!" A voice yells.

I immediately recognize Blair's voice, a goofy grin spreading across my face as I head down the stairs.

As I approach the hallway I hear two distinct voices, bickering incessantly. "We're going to run into them at some point, why not call them out first?" Blair argues with her brother Damon.

Even the thought of Damon and all he's done can't dampen my mood right now. I'm about to reunite with the love of my life after 145 years. I'm a happy man.

"Because that would take away the element of surprise which we now don't have considering you just announced our presence to the entire house," Damon argues back with just as much attitude.

"If this person is a vampire, it's not like they wouldn't have heard us anyways," Blair insists, both their voices growing louder.

They don't even realize that I'm standing ten feet in front of them. I'm now ten feet in front of a woman I thought had died, that I searched decades for. All I had to carry in my mind was memories of our talks, of her touch. I pictured her raven black hair in my mind, pictured her petite body and her intelligent mind. It feels so surreal that she's now standing in front of me.

"What if this person's not a vampire! I mean the door wasn't locked! Anyone could have gotten in!" Damon exclaims profoundly.

"Which is more reason you should lock your damn door!" Blair glares at him with fury, her point clearly more relevant.

Before any of them can argue further I decide to step in, clearing my throat loudly enough to catch their attention.

The two of them turn their heads in slow motion, fearful of the stranger that's in their home. I can't help but keep an amused smirk on my lips, their bickering earlier quite entertaining.

For the second my eyes make contact with her icy blue ones, I forget how to breathe. Oh how I forgot how powerful her eyes are, how intense they appear.

I would have thought that with her eyes identical to Damon's I would feel sorrow fill my chest every time I look at her, but I couldn't be more wrong. The colour of her eyes may be the same, but the way she looks at me speaks to something else.

Damon lets out an audible sigh, looking away from me while Blair looks at me in awe, her mouth agape. She stares at me, her face estranged as if she's drawing a blank. After a few seconds, she finally spits out something that isn't my name.

"Handsome face?"

And my heart sinks.

___________________________

[complete & edited: 08/23/17]