It was a normal day until Aries started screaming.

"WTF WHERE THE FUCK IS LEO" said Aries

"Hey can you be quiet!" said Capricorn

"BE QUIET?! OVER THIS??!!!" said Aries

Aries took off the scarf and showed Capricorn that huge blue stain on it.

"All that for a fucking stain?" scoffed Scorpio

Aries squinted at her, "Excuse me? If I did that to you then you would murder the shit out of us" said Aries

"Uhhh, you're not wrong...anyways, go ahead, my fault for stopping you" said Scorpio

"Thank you"

Virgo tried stopping the both of them from fighting and it actually worked.

"Ummm guys, how about we have a cooking competition" suggested Pisces

"Hell no" said Scorpio

"What why?"

"Half of the people here cant cook and I don't want to have any food poisoning" 

"Screw this, I'm setting up the booths because   s c r e w   y o u " said Aquarius

Aquarius kissed Pisces in the cheek and 

"Hey good morning!" said Leo

"LEO" screamed Aries

"What"

"EXPLAIN THIS"

Aries showed Leo this blue stain on her favourite scarf.

"You sure you didn't fall over or something because that wasn't me" said Leo

"Huh? Don't lie to me..." said Aries

"Whoa I'm not-"

"Pfft-"

Aries and Leo opened up the cupboard in the kitchen to see Sagittarius with a bunch of melted crayons.

"YOU FUCKLER YOU RUINED MY FAVOURITE SCARF" said Aries

"Fucker not fuckler" corrected Sagittarius

"STFU AND DIE"

Sagittarius jumped over Aries and Leo which angered Aries and caused her to chase after him.

"You go girl" said Leo sarcastically

"Hey have you seen Pisces anywhere?" asked Cancer

"Yeah she's helping Aquarius setting up booths for the cooking competition later"

"oooooh nice"

AN HOUR LATER

All 11 signs were in the kitchen and living room when Aquarius had a microphone she stole from a nearby shop.

"Alright everyone, today is the 69th Annual Zodiac Cooking Contest, you will split into 4 groups based on elements and stuff so w h a t e v e r , you will cooking something and there will be judges so good luck, and START BAKING OR ILL KILL YOU" said Aquarius

"Okay..." said Virgo

"YEE" said Aquarius

"Lmao" said Leo

"OH MY GOD, DADDY" yelled Sagittarius

The water signs were working on a fruit cake. Scorpio and Cancer were adding fruits to the cake when they caught Pisces eating the berries.

"Pisces those are poisonous" lied Scorpio

Cancer smacked his hand. "Bad fish!"

Pisces stopped eating the berries and dumped whipping cream on Cancer. Cancer giggled and smacked icing on Pisces. Soon Pisces and Cancer were in an icing war when icing fell onto Scorpio.

"Oh shit" said Pisces

"I'm sorry" said Cancer

Scorpio smiled and poured icing on the both of them. Are they finished baking the cake, Scorpio got some paper towels and cleaned up her shirt while Cancer and Pisces ate the remaining icing.

"Well, that was fun" said Cancer

"HELL YEA" said Pisces

Scorpio shrugged, "It was cool, I guess..."

"Come on Scorpy you know you enjoyed it"

"Ok fine, I did"

"Oh yeah!"

Pisces hugged Scorpio while she rolled her eyes. In the other booth, the earth signs were making muffins and Taurus was supposed to be pouring flour into the cake batter.

"Taurus! That's cocaine, dont put that inside" said Virgo

"Fine" groaned Taurus

Taurus pretended to give her the cocaine when he snorted it all. Virgo sighed.

"Shut up, Taurus" said Virgo

Taurus grabbed his ass when -SMACK-

"Oi dont grab my fuckinh ass mate" said virgo

"oof friedzoned" said Taurus

"Both of you shut up and help me" said Capricorn

"Sorry" said Taurus and Virgo

Suddenly some icing hit Capricorn, she turned around and saw Pisces and Cancer, but no Scorpio.

"WHAT THE HELL?!" snapped Capricorn

"Help us god..." said Cancer

Pisces hugged Cancer, "Jesus kung fu"

Taurus was bored so he decided to sing.

"I'm bored, time to sing something-"

"Ahem" said Virgo

"No one cares what you think, I'm doing it anyways...ahem...

Taurus smacked an egg on Virgo and continued pouring the egg mix and turned it into chocolate. He put some "vegetables" in the brownies.

"piece of shit" said Virgo

Virgo glared at the boi and dropped an ice cube into his shirt.

"AaAaHh cOlDdD..." said taurus

Taurus shivered and fell out of the window. Virgo and Capricorn just shrugged.

"At least he knows how to cook" said Capricorn

"Agreed" said Virgo

Gemini and Libra were talking and having some random ass conversation when Aquarius knocked both of their heads with a wooden spoon. The 2 boys turned around to see a blue haired lady giggle at them.

"hold tf up what" said Libra smiling confusedly

"Lol hehehe" said Aquarius

Aquarius poured cherries into the cake batter and threw the rest at Libra and Gemini.

"I SHIP THIS LMFAO!" squealed Aquarius

Gemini was hit 3 times by random objects and fell out the window. (A/N: Press F for respects)

"Karma" chuckled Taurus

"fam what the fuck did i even do" said Gemini

"you exist lmao"

"You little shit"

Gemini tried to fight Taurus when Aquarius sprayed whipping cream on him.

"HAHAHA TAKE THAT BITCHES" screamed Aquarius

Aquarius poured whipping cream onto the cherries.

"Aqua what cake are you making?" asked Libra

"Oh sweetie, it's a pie" said Aquarius

Aquarius made kissy faces and Gemini leaned in when Aquarius smacked and dumped whipped cream on him.

"Oof" said Gemini

"Is this cooking?" asked Gemini

"No its a fucking torture session lol" said Libra

Whipping cream and icing was dumped on Libra.

"Watch your language you little shit" said Aquarius

"BiTcH" said Gemini

Aquarius slapped Gemini. The 2 boys just decided that it was best to leave Aquarius right now and fast.

"Where y'all goin' babes?" asked Aquarius sweetly

"Away from you" said Gemini

Libra laughed, Aquarius started to cry.

"S-Stop being mean to meh, I hat u" said aquarius

"Awww we made her cry" said Libra

"Shhh, its fake" whispered Gemini

"Gemmy..." whistled Aquarius

"Yes honey?"

"sHut the FUCK up!"

"Yes sir"

Aquarius tied Gemini up to the chair.

"Punishment for being rude, my son" said Aquarius

" O O F "    s a i d    L i b r a

Aquarius continued singing a beautiful but sad song about love while she was baking the cherry pie.

"First let me hop off the motherfuckin Porsche, I don't want her if that ass don't sit like a horse..." sang Aquarius

Aquarius put the cherry pie into the oven.

"AND I GOT SO MUCH WOOD I COULD BUILD ME A FORT"

The fire signs started baking after Aquarius left the pie in the oven. Aries and Sagittarius were pouring 10 eggs into the cake batter and poured flour into it.

"I think thats too much" said Aries

"I dont care lmao" said Sagittarius

Suddenly Leo appeared and poured hot sauce into the batter until the bottle was completely empty.

"This is food poisoning" said Aries, "But who cares?"

Aries chuckled and sat down and watched the 2 boys put completely inedible things into the cake batter.

"Where's the bread?!" snapped Sagittarius

"Oh yeah, sorry..." said Leo

Leo got 8 pieces of bread and Sagittarius deep fried it until it was completely dry.

"I think that's enough..." said Leo

Taurus and Gemini abandoned their groups and broke into Pisces' group.

"Fuck off" said Scorpio

"no" said Taurus

"Guys, too many cooks spoil the soup" said Cancer

"Well oopsy then ahahah" said Gemini

"Go away idiot" said Scorpio

"no u"

"I'll take him away from you" said Taurus

"Thank you, Taurus" said Scorpio

"Actually, on second thoughts..."

Taurus picked up Scorpio and carried her to the Earth sign team.

"Take her instead because she's more mature than you shits" said Taurus

"Meanie!" said Pisces

"You only realised now?" asked Scorpio

"Shut up, Scorpio" said Taurus

"Excuse me?"

"N-Nothing!"

"That's what I thought" 

Capricorn did nothing so Taurus ran back to the water sign group which was no longer a water sign group. Cancer had fallen asleep so Taurus carried her and put her on the sofa.

"Let's get this bread" said Gemini

Taurus dumped a lot of sugar into the cake. Pisces made a smiley face out the sugar while gemini ate the bits of sugar. Pisces eventually gave up and snorted some of the sugar.

"Damn bro, has Aqua corrupted you or something?" asked Gemini

"no u" said Pisces

"Because both you and Aquarius like to snort random things into your nose" said Taurus

"Guys, you're a worse influence on me" said Pisces

Taurus and Gemini fake gasped. Pisces just laughed and sat back and tried not to die.

"Hold up what" said Leo

Leo looked at the messed up thing and tried to smell it when he almost vomited.

"This thing smells like Aries" said Leo

Sagittarius burst out laughing as Aries took out a knife.

"No one insult sexy Aries" said Aries

Leo died. Press F to pay respects.

Sagittarius fake vomited as everyone queued up for no reason.

"Okay losers, there will be 4 judges, each for you own sign, do not vote for your own cake or whatever or you will get spanking, yall got that?"

Taurus wiggled his eyebrows.

"Who da judges tho?" asked Leo

"The judges will be me, Aries, Virgo and Scorpio because screw he rest of you lmao" said Aquarius

Aquarius sat down on her table and grinned evilly.

"M'kay, first we will taste the water signs' cake" said Aquarius

Aquarius ate the water signs cake and grinned evilly.

"Tastes great" said Aquarius

"Ummmm, too sweet" said Virgo and Scorpio

"Taurus what the fuck did you do to this cake?" asked Aries

"Nothing, it's not even mine" said Taurus

"Aries, that's our cake" said Scorpio

"Okay this cake gets a 9/10 from me" said Aquarius

Aries and Virgo held up a 5/10 score,

"Next cake will be the earth signs' muffins" said Aquarius

Aquarius chomped 2 of the muffins. Virgo stared at her.

"Bitch that was for me" said Virgo

"Sorry but I clearly do not give a shit" said Aquarius

Aries ate a muffin.

"Not bad" said Aries

"Mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm" said Aquarius

Everyone held up scores. Aries gave it a 8/10, Virgo gave it an IDK, Scorpio gave it a 7/10 and Aquarius held up a picture of Taurus naked.

" H E Y ! " said Taurus

Everyone was somewhat shocked while Scorpio licked her lips.

"Alright next up we have the air sign cherry pie which is probably too good for any of you so too bad" said Aquarius

All of the judges ate the cherry pie even Aquarius even though she knew there was cocaine in it.

"BiTcH LaSaGnA" said Aquarius

Aquarius punched Leo and he fell down. Sagittarius was tripping on the floor laughing.

Aries and Virgo started to trip. Virgo almost fainted.

"11/10" said Virgo

"69/10" said Aquarius

"420/10" said Aries

"-1/10" said Scorpio

"No-u/10" said Leo

Aries violently threw a fish at Leo and Taurus and Gemini got so high they fell out of the window.

Suddenly, it was time for the nightmare to begin.

"Alright...now its the fire signs turn"

"Noooooooooo..." groaned Virgo

Aquarius ate the sandwich and vomited and Virgo fainted just by looking at it. Scorpio got up out of disgust and walked upstairs.

"I'm leaving, goodbye..." said Scorpio

"Bye sweety!" said Taurus

"I...excuse me?" 

"I-I..."

"Yeah, keep quiet yeah?" 

"Uhhh, so who wins?" asked Aries

"Mine" said Aquarius evilly

"We're not allowed to choose our own for legal reasons" 

" F u c k "

"Uhhh...let's see, the water signs cake was the only one that someone good" said Virgo

"I thought the muffins were nice" said Aquarius

"How about you, Scorpio?" asked Virgo

"I would vote for mine but...probably the cherry pie...?" said Scorpio

"I CHANGE MINE TO CHERRY PIE" said Aquarius

"You can't do that" said Virgo

"Aries, you?" said Scorpio

"What"

"Your vote counts because everyone's tied and you can't vote for your own" 

"No one voted for us fire signs, lame! Me angy" 

"Of course you are" said Leo

"YOU SHOULD BE ANGRY TOO" said Aries

" I   A M "   s a i d   L e o

"Okay Aries, easy..." said Virgo

"HARD" said Aquarius

"Uhhh, probably the cherry pie" said Aries

"YESSSS FUCK YEAHHHHH!!!!!" screamed Aquarius

"WOOOOOOOOOO WE WON" said Gemini

"LETS GO" said Libra

Libra, Gemini and Aquarius all high fived and did some weird handshake.

"Take that Taurus!" said Gemini

Taurus stuck his tongue out at Gemini.

"I'm gonna go upstairs now bye" said Scorpio

Scorpio went upstairs and watched everyone go crazy.