Aries: I crashed my dirt bike/quad

Taurus: This idiot forgot to stop for me when I was crossing the road

Gemini: I'm here with my friend

Cancer: I was cooking soup and I spilled it all over myself and now I have 3rd degree burns

Leo: Someone called me ugly so I threw a punch but they dodged it and my fist hit the brick wall

Virgo: Um, I work here.

Libra: I had a panic attack

Scorpio: Someone pushed me down the stairs

Sagittarius: This old lady was on her motor scooter and she was going so slow, I tried to hurry her up, then she ran over my toe.

Capricorn: I was working late a few nights in a row and I got sleep deprivation and passed out.

Aquarius: I was walking my mermaid, then she pushed me down a hole and I found myself in Narnia

Pisces: I was concentrating really hard and smashed into the wall then got a concussion