Aries: "I didn't attack him, I just threatened to"
Taurus: "if you kick that football over here again, I will rearrange your face. I'm just trying to eat my food"
Gemini: "you shouldn't be a bitch unless it's for comedic purposes, then bitch all you want"
Cancer: "you shouldn't say the word hate, strongly dislike"
Leo: "FUCK HE SMELT SO GOOD"
Virgo: "why are all the cute ones straight?"
Libra: (in front of three teachers) *shouts* "LETS DO SOME TEQUILA SHOTS"
Scorpio: "I'm not exaggerating, she's the spawn of satan"
Sagittarius: "when was the last time someone called you a sexy sting bean, huh?"
Capricorn: "what the fuck is a star sign?"
Aquarius: "I think to myself at least 20 times a day this is why I'm still single"
Pisces: "shoutout to the drilling in the apartment above at 1 am, the love between me and you is real"