Aries: how many people can I hit and run today? I reckon 11,293,871

Taurus: woah, my neighbor has a really nice table... I like that table... wow that table looks so great in my house once they see it they wont care how I got it

Gemini: how many times can I lie my way out of a speeding ticket in one day...

Cancer: I said that the potatoes I got were onions oh my gosh im so evil

Leo: illegally download clothes? fuck yea

Virgo: do you think i could order a bunch of dildos to my old math teachers PO box? imma try

Libra: let break into the aquarium... they can only arrest us if we actually cause damage right?

Scorpio: can I just stab that bitch? please? just once? no? oh woOps shes dead

Sagittarius: the security guard over there looks friendlyish "hey can we just walk past here to get where we're going?" "no" well fuck

Capricorn: anything illegal because they know they could get themselves out of jail if they needed to

Aquarius: can I convince everyone I know to elect a dog for president? I think yes

Pisces: wow whys everyone so tired today? maybe I should hand out free brownies,,,