Aries: C'mon, you can't stay mad at your boyfriend's best friend.

Taurus: I got hit in the balls with a ball playing foosball

Gemini: Wait, I need to look more thug.

Cancer: I'm not a weeb!

Leo: Go die in a hole.

Virgo: I don't believe in love.

Libra: Are you chillangin?

Scorpio: I just want to throw her in a ditch and set her on fire.

Sagittarius: Make babies!

Capricorn: Chill. Are you chill? You're not chill. Chill.

Aquarius: Winter is cute.

Pisces: My mom's making me wear a cup, and that thing's moving all over the place.