Aries: "Maybe the dead Victorian girl you saw was just me all along"

Taurus: “You can pour soup in my lap and I'll probably apologize to you”

Gemini: "God, I guess they're gonna kill us all. All right. This is younger than I thought it would be, but we are pretty big assholes"

Cancer: "Thirteen-year-olds are the meanest people in the world"

Leo:  "I mean, we're all violent here, but you're very friendly"

Virgo: "No one cared what I thought" 

Libra:  "I’ll tell you what we’ll do! We’ll draw chalk around where the body is. That way we’ll know where it was…”

Scorpio: “Now we don't have time to unpack all that"

Sagittarius: "That's what I thought you'd say, you dumb fucking horse!"

Capricorn: "You hope it was a miracle, probably not"

Aquarius: "It's just creepy to have an ex out there after things have ended badly. They have a lot of information. Anyone who's seen my dick and met my parents needs to die."

Pisces: “This is the height of luxury”