Aries: YOU WANNA FIGHT ME? OH SHIT GIRL, HOLD MY SHIT.

Taurus: *Frantically searches for the nearest kabob*

Gemini: "I'm not trying to start shit, I swear!"

Cancer: Is relatively sober, ends up holding Virgo's hair back

Leo: *Dances on table, doesn't pay for any drinks*

Virgo: *Overestimates their tolerance, ends up with head in toilet early in the night

Libra: *Gets pissed off when the group can't decide where to go, ends up cabbing home at 2 AM before the fun starts

Scorpio: *Gets wicked hammered, tells stranger their life story*

Sagittarius: YOU GUYSSS WHY DO WE HAVE TO CAB WALKING IS SOOO MUCH BETTER *Breaks heel, falls over, proceeds to call cab*

Capricorn: The definition of classy drunk

Aquarius: Makes 50 new friends on the way to the bathroom

Pisces: The intellectual drunk. You know who you are.