Signs going ice-skating

Meanwhile, at the ice skating rink

*Loud distant screaming*

Aries: *Opens door to the rink* OH MY GOSH

Gemini: I'm fucking freezing my toes off

Aries: AHHHHH *Runs to the front desk*
HI, I'D LIKE A PAIR OF ICE BLADES OR SKATING SHOE THINGS!!!

Worker: Uhh, what size?

Aries: THE SIZE THATS MOST EXCITING

Worker: You seem like a solid baby foot

Aries: Did you just- MY FEET AREN'T THAT SMALL!

Cancer: *Wrapped in 200 layers of blankets*

Pisces: Bro, why are you so extra? It's not even that cold-

Cancer: ILL HAVE YOU KNOW IM FAIRLY COLD

Pisces: I'll have you know you're fairly stupid

Cancer: *Waddles away*

Taurus: You promised me Yuri would be here

Aquarius: I had to get you out of the house

Taurus: So you just decided to lie to me?!

Aquarius: Yes

Taurus: *Sigh*

Taurus: I'm going home-

Aquarius: NO, YOU'RE SKATING WITH ME!!

Taurus: BUT I DON'T WANNA!!

Aquarius: DO YOU WANT TO GET PUNCHED ON THE FACE?!

Taurus: No...

Aquarius: SO MOVE YOUR ASS ONTO THE RINK!!

Cancer: *Lightly steps onto the ice with their socks on*

Leo: What in the flip flops are you doing?

Cancer: I'm gonna glide on ice

Libra: You're going to fall on your face

Cancer: Glide on my face

Libra: *Facepalm*

Cancer: My penguin brothers and sisters will be so proud of me

Leo: Don't you dare-

Cancer: *Belly flops onto the ice*

Leo: This entire day is gonna be me trying to get you off the floor, isn't it?

Cancer: Yep

Leo: Bitch.

Libra: *Slips on skates* Move out of the way Cancer

Cancer: I can't. I'm a penguin

Libra: What the...

Cancer: Quack quack

Libra: *Steps over Cancer and slips* OH MY OUCH!!!

Leo: YOUR BODY IS DOING WEIRD THINGS!!

Cancer: DID YOU JUST STRADDLE ME?!

Libra: *In excruciating pain but also freaking out about the fact Cancers face is an inch away from theirs*

Libra: IS THIS HOW IT FEELS LIKE TO ALMOST DIE?!

Leo: YOU DID A SPLIT ON TOP OF CANCER!!

Cancer: STRADDLE* YOU'RE FUCKING STRADDLING ME!!

Leo: YOU'RE FUCKING CANCER NOW?!

Libra: NO BABE THATS NOT-

Cancer: I feel weird...

Leo: *Runs towards the bathroom*

Libra: THIS IS ALL YOUR FAULT!!

Cancer: Yet, you're still on top of me

Libra: Touché

Scorpio: Well, well, well

Cancer: It's not what it looks like-

Scorpio: It's looks like a turkey is trying to straddle a burrito

Libra: Did you just called me a fucking turkey?

Scorpio: I'm just gonna- BYE

Libra: HELP ME UP, I CANT MOVE AND MY LEGS ARE BURNING!!

Cancer: Burning like my desire for you

Libra: When we get off of this rink, I'm gonna turn you-

Cancer: On?

Virgo: Jesus, stop treating me like a child, I can do things on my own

Capricorn: No, I wanna assist you

Virgo: Fetch me some hot Cocoa

Capricorn: On it

Virgo: That should get rid of Cap for about 9 minutes.

Aquarius: There you go! You're doing great Taurus:)

Taurus: You're hands are on my hips

Aquarius: To keep you balanced-

Taurus: TO RAPE ME!!

Aquarius: No...

Taurus: GET OFF OF ME!! *Pushes Aquarius away*

Aquarius: BRO I'M SCARED, GET OVER HERE I CAN'T SKATE!!

Taurus: So that's why you wanted me here. YOU KNEW MY YURI ON ICE SKILLS WERE GREAT SO YOU WERE USING ME FOR SUPPORT!!!!!!

Aquarius: TAURUS HELP!! *Drifting across the ice slowly*

Pisces: *Gliding around the rink like a pro*

Aquarius: PISCES HELP!

Pisces: Nah

Aquarius: I'm gonna die here.....

Sagittarius: *Using metal frame to keep them balanced*

Aquarius: SAGITTARIUS HELP!!!

Sagittarius: But this is my skating tool thingy

Aquarius: You do realize that's for kids under the age of 5?

Sagittarius: PSHHHHHH WHAAAA- Oh shut up, you're the one that's stranded

Aquarius: Fuck

Aries: *Finally goes onto the rink* IM SO FRICKEN EXCITED!! *Falls on their ass*

Aries:...

Aries: Okay I'm leaving

Meanwhile at Aries house

Aries: Today sucked

Gemini: Lmao no one noticed me leaving

Aries: Wait, you left

Gemini: Yep

Aries: Wth, Why?

Gemini: Because it was cold

Aries: And?

Gemini: That's about it

Leo: Well I spent an hour in the bathroom contemplating life

Gemini: You already do that

Leo: I know

Virgo: Capricorn came back with a HUGE mug filled with hot cocoa

Capricorn: It's wasn't that big of a mug

Virgo: It was the size of my head

Capricorn: Your head is small

Aquarius: Hey, where's Taurus, Libra, and Cancer?

Back at the rink

Libra: What time is it?

Cancer: Like 11pm

Libra: Everyone's gone

Cancer: Yup

Libra: Everyone left us here to die

Cancer: Indeed

*Loud thump*

Cancer: HELLO?

*Groaning*

Libra: Well Cancer, getting murdered by a mysterious shadow doesn't sound bad

Cancer: It's was nice knowing you

Taurus: Stop whining *Skates into the light*

Libra: Omg, OUR LORD AND SAVIOR!!

Taurus: Shut up idiots, let's get outta here

Taurus: *Lifts Libra off of Cancer*

Cancer: Now help me up

Taurus: No thanks. You can stay there all night.

YURI ON ICE IS BAE!!! NO SPOILERS BECAUSE IM ALMOST DONE WITH IT!!!