The signs as things I have heard them say in real life (aka quotes from my friends/family that I felt like I had to share)

Aries: "Did you just call me stupid because you're absolutely right"

Taurus: "FLOWERS! STICKERS!"

Gemini: "can you please shut up oh my god"

Cancer: "There's a WiFi Network here that's named 'Papa's Final Destiny.'" "Wow really?" "Wait no nvm it's called 'Papa's Family Dentistry.'"

Leo: *old lady voice* "CoMe HeRe LiTtLe GiRl"

Virgo: "Haha you're stupid"

Libra: "No one cares about your stick figure family"

Scorpio: /I'm really sorry guys I don't know any Scorpios in real life I'm sorry/

Sagittarius: "spoon"

Capricorn: "Sure, I'm an idiot. But I'm an idiot with ice cream."

Aquarius: *VSCO Girl voice* "My morning routine consists of taking a bath using only water from my HydroFlask."

Pisces: "Two plus two equals all of the numbers if you think hard enough"