The signs in the hospital- "What happened to you?"

Aries: I crashed my motorbike

Taurus: this idiot forgot to stop for me when I crossed the road

Gemini: I'm here with my friend

Cancer: I was cooking soup for my boyfriend and spilled it all over myself, now I've got third degree burns

Leo: somebody called me ugly, so I tried to punch them, but I missed and hit the brick wall

Virgo: um, I work here

Libra: I had a panic attack

Scorpio: someone pushed me down the stairs

Sagittarius: this old lady was on her motor scooter, and she was going so slowly, so I told her to hurry up and she ran over my toe

Capricorn: I was working really late 5 nights in a row, and got sleep deprivation, then passed out

Aquarius: I was walking my mermaid, then she pushed me down the well and I found myself in Narnia

Pisces: I was concentrating, then smashed into the wall and got a concussion