Why The Signs Went To Jail:

Aries: Attempted to shop lift a puppy from the pet store

Taurus: Didn't pay the check at a restaurant

Gemini: Sneaked into a celebrity's home

Cancer: Attempted to murder someone

Leo: Sold weed/smoked it

Virgo: Was falsely accused of terrorism

Libra: Created a new type of cancer 

Scorpio: Sexually assaulted someone

Sagittarius: Went streaking in public

Capricorn: Murdered a smurf

Aquarius: single-handedly caused the apocalypse

Pisces: Vandalized the side of a building with spray painted "profanities"