Aries: *accidentally leaves their kid at the park but never notices*

Gemini: *pushes their kid around in a stroller whole listening to Skryllex and headbanging and shiz while people just stare at them*

Taurus: *has a whole parenting guide book like srsly and they are so cautious they forget to eat*

Cancer: *watching baby sleep* that could be me, in that crib. But no. You have to take it. You little...thing

Leo: *makes their baby look like a fashion baby like what*

Sagittarius: *teaches their kid karate* now, high kick -

Libra: *introduces their kid to Yo-Kai watch* WHISPUR! CHYBANIAN! Dude I love that show XD (my authors notes are in bold)

Virgo: *their kid is really smart but also really weird* I think this is how I turned out my dad's a Virgo

Scorpio: *shows their kid how to kill* wait... now... and .... STAB

Capricorn: *them and their kid go and play a lot, which is surprising*

Aquarius: *slaps their kid* AND THATS FOR BEING STUPID Literally my mom

Pisces: *introduces their kid to anime and weird stuff that scars them and teaches them forever, like Fairy Tail.*