How the signs got in hell:

Aries: Rode a fucking motorcycle in.

Taurus: Took Satan out for dinner, so Satan let them in the HELL squad.

Gemini: Has been a part of Satan's squad all along, passing him evil secrets about the other signs.

Cancer: They were in the path to be in heaven, then they fucked it all up and ended up in hell.

Leo: "Hell is the new thing, everyone's going there now."

Virgo: They need things to clean in hell ya know.

Libra: Was in Heaven, but then fucked up and dated one of the devils in Hell and it ended badly.

Scorpio: Is Satan.

Sagittarius: With Aries, fucking things up.

Capricorn: Too cold and calculating in Heaven, evil geniuses belong together in Hell.

Aquarius: Bribed the devils who guard the entrance with weed, but they didn't even have to. 

Pisces: Fell in love with Satan, they're a beautiful couple.~