Aries: that guy who yelled “well buttfuck me!” When the quadratic formula was mentioned in math class

Taurus: that one annoying girl who sits next to me and always has to comment after everything the professor says. Just shut the fuck up

Gemini: the guy who walks everywhere barefoot. He doesn’t fucking believe in shoes

Cancer: that one guy who yelled “kobe!” and tried to toss a paper ball into the trashcan and missed, only to try 5 more times and miss each time. He does this every class period, missing every. single. time.

Leo: the guy who looked me dead in the eye in the library and said “You know what? Fuck it. Fuck all this bullshit.” and left

Virgo: that one dude who always shares gum, mints, snacks, etc. with the people sitting around him

Libra: that weeb that naruto ran into the cafeteria, grabbed a Chik-fil-A sandwich, and naruto ran out only to be chased by one of the cafeteria staff because he didn’t pay

Scorpio: that beefy dude who called up one of his beefy friends to come and literally lift the snack machine and shake it to get his snack that got stuck

Sagittarius: that guy who fell down a flight of stairs, flipped off the staircase, and turned around only to realize I had witnessed the whole thing and dabbed

Capricorn: the girl who gave her boyfriend a bouncy ball in class only for him to slam it down (thinking it wouldn’t bounce?) and causing the ball to hit the ceiling, ricochet off the blade of the ceiling fan, only to smack the teacher in the side of the head

Aquarius: the guy in my psychology class who told his best friend sitting next to him that he had a “raging erection”

Pisces: that girl who was asleep on the floor in a full sleeping bag and a pillow