I want to savor this moment of contentment, identifying every sensation running in my body. The tingling in my stomach, the fluttering in my heart, the soreness in my lifted cheeks, the movements of my toes hidden in my shoes.

2007

 I'M THE KIND OF PERSON who finds peace in his bedroom more than outdoors.

Over the last Spring, Aunt Margaret invited us for a hike in a forest behind her house. Two paths led to a waterfall, which was the only reason people hiked there. I didn't want to go, but mom allowed me to skip my chores for the next week if I did.

The day came; mom and dad were bright-eyed and bushy-tailed, waiting for my siblings and me by the porch. It was five in the morning, and I woke up wishing I didn't have to. I slipped into my jogging pants and a plain black t-shirt that was lying on the floor. It smelled used, but a generous spray of cologne fixed it. I was the last one out, as everyone was already out a while ago, checking if they had gotten everything. It was the same time aunt Margaret pulled over, hopping out of her car dressed in gray joggers with pink strips and a matching jacket over her Mickey Mouse silhouette t-shirt. Black shades snugged in her dyed-orange hair.

Time got away from us, but we were still far from the waterfall. I felt the need to grab hold of anything around me along the way. Stones, trees, roots, grass, even as we were walking on a steep hill, and my jelly legs made me envision myself tumbling down like a ball if I lost my balance.

...

An unusual whooshing sound caught our attention. Soon the earth buzzes beneath my feet, slowly traveling through my body and sending tingles to my fingertips. We paved a path where the sound was coming from, and soon the voices of people socializing came together. We've finally arrived by the waterfall. From where we were standing, the mountain seemed like it was crying, its tears plunging down into the river of crystal waters. The air was crisp with every inhale, and mists tickled my cheeks.

As we ambled closer, the sound increased to the point I couldn't hear myself speak. It was growling and rumbling. Walking along the edge of the rocks, we found a spot where the sound lowered just slightly. Everyone set their belongings down while Max and Victoria raced to the waters, impatient to take a dive.

My legs said otherwise. I crashed by a huge bolder, leaning my sweat-drenched back against its cold, rough surface. I pull out my phone, wanting to entertain myself with YouTube, but the signal is really bad as we're high up on a mountain. Instead, I opened my camera to capture the moment. I recorded my legs submerged in the waters, Max diving from the peak of the waterfall, mom and dad partaking in the tuna sandwiches aunt Margaret made, and mainly the environment.

In the back of my mind, I felt that Alexander might appreciate these shots. Though, I was reminded of the possibility that he'd be weirded out by receiving messages from me. And I simply refrain from sharing those moments. He's the only friend that I have. I can't afford to have anything go wrong. We've just met, barely on close terms, to have a casual conversation. I'll just save it for the future. That is, if we're still friends.

...

Maybe I owe my gratitude to aunt Margaret. If it weren't for her, I wouldn't have known my way around the hiking trail and guiding the boy scout club towards it. Even the scoutmaster, Mr. Willis, was impressed by how we arrived within hours to spare.

However, there isn't much to do as it's already twilight, and activities are preferably done during the day. The scoutmaster had assigned a partner for everyone, and mine was Alexander, which confused me if I should feel grateful or nervous. It could go either way, actually.

While the boys were catching their breath, Mr. Willis demonstrated the technics of setting up a tent while I went ahead and set up my own using the knowledge Max had provided when we were here earlier. As a reward, I got my tent scout badge—which wasn't my biggest priority—and was permitted to excuse myself from the agony of sitting by the campfire with the others to socialize.

I stay in the tent, with a book and a cup of hot chocolate next to me. It's actually quite nice. Though, my mind couldn't stay focused on the story as nature's night music was louder than my thoughts. It's hard to believe there are people in this world who loves the chirping of crickets while here I am, wishing every single one of them a slow, painful death.

...

Eventually, everyone had to turn it in for the day, and the chill of the night picked up; entering our tents. Alexander crawled into the tent minutes ago without saying anything. He cocooned himself in his sleeping bag and slept on his side, facing away from me. I kept my eyes on him and couldn't determine if he was still awake or asleep. Either way, there wasn't a single movement around his body, as if he was dead.

It was only past ten, and I couldn't sleep. I leave a bookmark on the last page, slide it into my backpack and step out of the tent to warm myself by the campfire. The damp smells of moss, trees, and flowers combined with the burning firewood welcome me. The roaring waterfall hiss in the air from a distance, providing the perfect melody for the given hour. I'm not an admirer of Mother Nature, but sometimes, her gifts bring peace I didn't know I needed. The mesmerizing orange and yellow of the fire danced tall and actively, which meant it could last for another hour or two. Maybe three.

As I made my way towards it, I saw four large logs sitting around the campfire, and I picked the closest one to my tent. As I lay on the humid, rough wood, feeling the cool surface on my rear and miniature edges poking my calves, I stretched my palms close to the fire, warming myself. The scourging temperature was comforting as snuggling a warm, fluffy blanket on a chilly night.

After a while, my body temperature stables. I rest my arms on my knees, hunching my back as I shuffle through the past, reminiscing the emotions I felt the first day Ryan came home. The way her little paws skipped my way the moment dad placed her down. I can still remember how wide my smile was. Compared to then, her head outgrew my palms throughout the years. I used to scratch her baseball-sized head with just two fingers, and now, I use all ten, and sometimes, it isn't enough that I'll use my headscratcher.

I never had the time to sit and think about random things before. If this situation were to occur at home, I'd have my phone and other entertainment to fill my mind. Sometimes, it's better to have external thoughts than your own because not all thoughts are friendly. Or maybe it's just mine.

My neck automatically cranes at the rustling sounds emerging from my back, assuming it was some creature of the night passing by.

It isn't.

Alex is standing outside the tent, matching its height. He changed his shirt, now wearing an animated Godzilla t-shirt that's bigger than he is as the neck-hole stops beneath his collarbone. It looks comfortable compared to my collared shirt.

"Hey," he whispers and waves effortlessly as he approaches me. He pauses next to me. "May I join you?"

I scoot over. "Please."

He gathers the bottom of his t-shirt before plopping down and stretching his legs. His feet had blisters and minor wounds around his ankles from the journey here.

"Weren't you sleeping?" I blurt, avoiding a wave of awkwardness from spawning between us.

"I was until I noticed you were out here," he reaches down and picks up a rock, mindlessly studying its structure before peering at me. "I hope I'm not interrupting your quiet time. If you want to be alone, I totally get it."

"No, you're not," I mean it. "I just came to get some fresh air. And to warm myself too."

He nods slowly, keeping his eyes on the ground.

Somewhere in my mind, I expected him to come. I wanted him to, but I wasn't aware of it until he actually showed up and sat next to me, talking with his euphonious voice that could sing even the savage beast to slumber.

"You're really something, Jon," he sniggers, interrupting the silence.

"In what way?" I shift my gaze to his. The campfire glistened in them like fairies dancing. His eyes are calm but harmonious with this combination.

"You know the school talks about you sometimes, right? Rumors claiming you're a weirdo, you're a drug addict influenced by your dad, and basically, nothing good," he starts. "Regardless of those false rumors, you're the exact opposite. I mean, you're the opposite of everything they said. I haven't met your father because whenever I come over, he's not home. At least that's what you said. And now, you've navigated the team here without a map, started this fire, and set up our tents before the scoutmaster had even taught us how."

He's chuckling, his chin up, eyeing the star-filled sky. I follow his gaze, but my head feels heavy, and I lay down on the ground instead, with the log supporting my neck. The sky is beautiful tonight. There are more stars today than I've ever seen from my window.

"I guess it's true when mom said to never judge others before getting to know them. I'm sorry."

"It's alright. Society has many problems, and judging is one of them. It's done both, intentionally and unintentionally but it's not a problem if you understand your actions, and know what is right and what isn't," I explain. "So, it's okay. And besides, I'm pretty much used to the school rumors. Even before meeting you, I was amongst the popular topic in school gossip."

"And you didn't defend yourself? Like claiming the rumors aren't true?"

I shrug my shoulders.

"I would if I cared," I turn to see him looking at me. His sky-gray is mesmerizing that I glance away from time to time. Curiosity fills them as a cat observes Christmas ornaments dangling from the tree. "But I don't."

One corner of his mouth creeps up, and then he smiles his signature smile, one warm enough to melt even the coldest of hearts. His eyes traveled around my head before landing on mine as he got up and lay next to me. He's so close that our arms are touching. Nevertheless, I stay where I am and enjoy the moment for as long as it lasts.

"How long are you planning to stay out here?" He questions.

"I don't know."

I really don't.

"Cool," I sense the smile on his face even though I'm not facing him. And I smiled too. "I'm glad we met."

And for that moment, I felt the one feeling I rarely felt. The one feeling that everyone felt naturally. Happiness. I strive to feel this as often as possible by doing what I like. Playing basketball, running, and reading. However, as my eyes open to welcome a new day, the world shows me numerous reasons to do the opposite. Unfortunately, I give in easily. And suddenly, my evening run is canceled, and I stay in bed with the covers over my head. The basketball match with my neighbors, who were kind enough to play with me, didn't happen. And just like that, another day wasted, and it'll probably be the same on the next.

I want to savor this moment of contentment, identifying every sensation running in my body. The tingling in my stomach, the fluttering in my heart, the soreness in my lifted cheeks, the movements of my toes hidden in my shoes. For someday, I'll be able to duplicate this feeling and use it in my daily misery of a life. I will remember the happiness he gave me. It is him I'll remember the most.

"Me too."