My aunt and I went into town that day, she wanted to drop off some books at the small education center and school that the lodge helped support. When I got there though, this was unlike any school I'd ever seen before. There was one class, a large pre fabricated room with at least eighty children squeezed in, with only two teachers. They kids were different ages and the teachers where trying to teach them all. This was a far cry from the private schools, with rolling lawns and creeping Ivy that I'd been too. But what struck me the most was how happy the children were, they had so little, but in a way they had so much. They appreciated everything they got, even stationary- pens and pencils that we take for granted. I couldn't imagine myself ever getting excited over some new pens! This was a totally different world, one that until a week ago, I didn't even know existed. 

My aunt explained that they provided a meal to all the children here, and for most of them, that was the only meal they got in the day. Most children went to bed hungry. The idea of this brought tears to my eyes. These small smiling children that only got one meal a day. I thought about that little girl with a baby on her back and wondered how much she ate, carrying a baby all day on her back, on her tiny frame must be so physically draining. And then something that Riaan said popped into my head again.

“Riaan said that one of my hands bags probably costs more than families here see in a year?” It was a question, I wanted it confirmed.

My aunt turned and looked at me, “Zara some of these families, the single parent ones, probably earn the equivalent of one thousand Pounds a year.”

My heart stopped. One of my bags easily cost that much, some were more. One of my bags could support an entire family for a year. I felt sick thinking about how many there were in my cupboard at home right now, some I hadn’t used in years because they were from last season. And my shoes. I’d worn some once and they chucked them to the back of my closet. I knew I needed to do something, but what?

I watched as the children lined up to eat their one meal for the day, a bowl of soup and two pieces of bread. They looked so happy and thrilled to be getting a meal and that’s when I knew what I needed to do.

And I was going to get started immediately.

**

Africa changes you in some way. I am not really sure how exactly, but it  gets under your skin. Crawls into you. I thought about it all afternoon and came up with several theories. Humans began here, this continent was home to our very primitive beginnings, so in a way anyone who came back here was coming home. An ancestral home that had been burned into our DNA over the years through evolution. That’s how I felt anyway- this was like a coming home to me. And it also felt like a new start.

I asked my aunt if I could use the computer in the office so I could go about putting my plan in motion, but it required some help from home. London home. I hadn’t spoken to Mildred in weeks, and I was nervous to call her. She had cared for me since I was young and meant a lot to me and I know my recent behavior had hurt her deeply. She had made it very clear that day while helping me pack my bags. Of course I'd just thought she was being a bitch and had proceeded to tell her so. And now I needed a favor, but I also needed to apologize. With shaking hands I started to dial the home phone number. It was a Saturday, but I doubted my dad would be there. i was probably holed up in his office.

It rang a few times before she answered,

“Hi”

“Zara.” She sounded happy to hear from me, even though our last interaction had been so terrible. “How are you?”

“Good. Actually very good. Great.”

I heard an audible sigh of relief, “I’ve been worried about you.”

“I’m okay Milly. More than okay actually.”

“I am so happy to hear that.”

“I’m happy Milly. Properly happy,”

There was a smile in her voice, “That’s wonderful.”

“But I need a favor, please.”

She was silent for a while. I always asked for favors and was never appreciative. In fact, I expected favors. 

“Yes….” She sounded tentative and slightly irritated.

“I need you to go into my cupboard and take photos of the bags and shoes I never use,”

“Zara, that’s almost hundreds,”

I laughed slightly, “I’m sure it’s less than that.”

“Well you know what I mean.”

Yes I do, it’s a lot,”

She sounded puzzled, “Why?”

“I’m going to sell them on ebay, I am setting up a store now.’

And now she sounded angry, she couldn’t hide a thing in her voice, it was her give away, “Zara, I know your dad has cut you off but what could you possibly want with that money. I'm not going to do that if you’re going to do something stupid with it. I refuse-“

I cut her off as quickly as I could before this went any further, “It’s not like that I swear. I want to donate the money to the school here.

I actually heard a chuckle. A sarcastic non- believing chuckle, one that seemed to say, “And there goes Zara lying again!” Not that I blamed her. Lying and manipulating was what I do best. DID best. 

“The kids here have nothing. So little and their all still so positive.  Some only eat one meal a day and one of my hand bags could keep a whole family going for a year and I really need to do something and-“

“I believe you. I haven’t heard that enthusiasm in your voice for ages. Since you were a little girl”

“What can I say, this place does that to you.”

“Okay honey, I’ll do it. Send me the email address and I'll start sending you pictures, but it will take a while.

“That’s fine, no rush.”

There was a long pause on the phone and I sensed something coming,

“Your dad is here. I know he would like to talk to you. Can I call him?”

The question caught me off guard, what was he even doing home. Didn't he have something sooo much more important to be doing. 

“No. Not now. Tell him I said hi,”

I hung up. I couldn’t speak to him, not yet. Not now. I know I needed to, but I needed more time.

I felt like I had a renewed sense of purpose. Those bags would sell like hot cakes and I could raise a lot of money from them. Maybe it would be enough to give the kids another meal. Buy some more desks, books, stationary. I was excited by the possibility, and for once was thinking about someone else other than myself.

Shit Zara, you have changed!

But all my excitement soon gave way to total and utter nervousness as four o clock approached and I was due to meet Riaan in and hour and I pretty much knew we were due to have night that I would remember for the rest of my life. I had no idea what he was planning, I had no idea what to wear, how to act. My stomach was a cage full of butterflies.

I wore nothing fancy that night. I just pulled on a  pair of jeans and a jumper. I didn’t need to dress up for him, he liked me not for the clothes and the hair and make-up, but for what was beneath all that, another concept that was unfamiliar to me and that I sometimes struggled to understand. I put on a bit of mascara – that was essential! Some lip gloss and did my hair in a messy side plait.

I walked over to his room nervously and when I got there he was already waiting outside. He looked amazing. Better that I'd ever seen him. He’d shaved, his hair was not as messy as it usually was and there was something in his eyes that made him so irresistible.

“Hi beautiful,” He came straight for my lips. The kiss was not the usual peck, but it was loaded. I opened my mouth slightly and let out a little breathy whimper as he pulled me closer and wrapped his hands around to my bum, pulling my hips towards him. We were pressed up against each other now.

“Come, we’re going somewhere.”

“Where?”

“It’s a surprise.”

“Really? What kind of surprise"

He smiled that naughty, heart-melting grin at me again and ran his fingers across my cheek and lip, “The kind that you will like. I promise.”