Nightmares. I still have them. I all ways worry about something. I get scared when I think about how I wasn't there for Vicchan when he died. I get frightened when I think about Victor leaving me and going back to Russia. If he did I may just die. Victor says he will stay with me no matter what. Make me the best skater I can ever, is his job, and I am his world. Only I know his love and can satisfy it. Victor always hugs me and stays with me during these times, which makes me grateful, and fall deeper in love with him.