Mike's POV

What I felt was a mixture of anger, sadness and fear upon hearing what Rob said.

And when Kennie started asking me what was going on, I didn't know what to say at first or if I should tell her. But when she asked again with trembling voice, I knew she has to know.

Si Gelo nga ang dahilan kaya kami aalis ngayon.

"Kennie...si Gelo."

"Ano?"

"Kaninang madaling-araw...lumipad sila ni William... papunta sa Hawaii. D-dun na raw sila titira."

She stared at me blankly. She heard me, I'm sure. Maybe her consciousness is just not accepting it, like I do not want to accept the news.

When tears started welling up her eyes,

"Rob, I have to go. Si Kennie..."

"Yeah, sure. Call me anytime."

"M-mike... si G-gelo... si Gelo..."

I pocketed my phone then hugged her. She cried silently on my chest. A soundless cry that brought me to tears as well. Because quiet as her sobs may seem, I can feel her body tremble.

Sa ganoon kami inabutan ni Mommy at Daddy.

My mother cried, too. And just like me, Dad teared up.

Christmas is just less than two weeks away. And I can feel , this season won't be a happy one for us.

Kennie was crying the whole day and didn't join us for lunch. She just stayed in the room she occupies. I knew why. She used to share that room with Gelo.

"Michael, let her be," payo ni Mommy. "She's grieving, more than us."

I couldn't tell my Mom how much I am hurting, too. I couldn't let anyone know, especially my sweet.

Between the two of us, she's the emotionally sensitive.

Someone has to stand strong for us. Strong so we could make things work.

I am not giving up yet. I called Rob again to keep tabs on William and Gelo kahit nasa Hawaii pa ang mga ito.

"Don't you think you should let the boy with his father?" tanong ng asawa ni Juno.

"You haven't seen how Kennie cried and is still crying in her room, Rob. And... I already considered the boy as mine. I love him, too. Isa pa, galing na sa inyo. Nag-aalburuto pa rin si Emily Garcia. Gelo is not safe. You understand me, right?"

Di na ito kumontra.

Kinahapunan, nakatanggap ako ng tawag galing kay Michelle. She was sobbing.

"Mom sent me a message. I'm sorry to hear about it, Kuya. Paano na yan?"

"I'll find a way to get our boy back. Si Kennie ang inaalala ko ngayon. I'm still thankful she didn't have asthma attack."

"Uhm... Kuya?"

"Oh?"

"How about the wedding?"

Saglit akong nawalan ng kibo.

"We will proceed. Tuloy ang kasal namin."

I think that's for the best.

"Okay, sasabay ako ng gown fitting kay Kennie this weekend."

Ang kapatid ko na ang kinuha naming maid of honor. Malabong si Estrel gaya nang unang gusto ni Kennie. At sa darating na Sabado ang initial fitting sa gowns n'ya. Then a week before our wedding is the final.

My sister's call suddenly made me think.

Should I ask Kennie if she wants to proceed with the wedding as planned? We are scheduled to get married in the church last week of January.

I'm getting anxious. Is it proper to do so now that we are emotionally broken about the news on Gelo, lalung-lalo na ang bride?

No, I don't want to entertain negative thoughts.

It is better that we handle this situation together as a married couple. And the wedding should help both of us cope with sorrow. Ipapasyal ko si Kennie ngayong Christmas vacation.

When evening came, Kennie refused to go down again to eat. She didn't even open the door when I tried to fetch her up. In her ragged voice behind the door, nagpasabi na ihingi s'ya ng pasensya kina Mommy at Daddy.

"Maybe you should bring food to her room and both of you have dinner together there," Dad suggested.

And that was what I did. She still refused to open her door kundi pa ako nagbanta gaya nang dati na,

"Kennie, sweet... I won't eat unless you do so. Sabay tayong kakain. Dito lang ako sa pinto ng kuwarto mo."

I smiled when I heard footsteps moving towards the door.

My heart almost fell when I saw her.

Swollen eyes and nose, messy hair and crumpled clothes. She was also holding her inhaler.

"Sweet..."

Then she sobbed with head down.

I immediate enclosed her in my arms, immediately after I put down the tray of food on the small table beside the door.

I teared up, too.

"Common, sweet... just cry it out," bulong ko habang hinahaplos ang likod at ulo n'ya.

And when she wrapped her hands around my waist as she cried more on my chest, I felt a bit lighter. My Kennie is getting some strength from me. It felt better that she is now sharing her grief with me, although I am still really sad about our Gelo being taken farther away.

I scooped her up and walked to the bedside. I sat there with her on my lap. We stayed like that for some minutes.

Kahit ako ay naiyak na rin. Only that she saw it after a few attempts I tried to hide wiping my tears.

I forced a smile when she enclosed my face in her palms, using her thumbs to brush my tears away.

"I-I'm sorry, Mike," she whispered. "P-pati ikaw..."

"No, sweet. I'm ... I'm the one who should say sorry," I caught her hand to kiss her palm. "I... I kept on failing with my promises. I feel guilty that you're crying because.."

Di ko maituloy ang sasabihin. I need to breathe in and out slowly. I was trying my best not to cry. But... it's difficult. Too difficult to keep all the guilt and pain I'm feeling now because Gelo was away and my sweet little Kennie is crying.

"Hindi mo kasalanan, Mike. Kung...kung naaalala kong sabihin sa iyo ang alam ni Gelo at ni... ni Est--"

I put my index finger on her lips to silence her. I don't want to hear her best friend's name. I loathe the woman!

She's worse than Madison!

Ngayon ay mas naiintindihan ko si Aris.

"Ssshh... stop. Let's not blame anyone here," I mildly said.

She just stared at me. A stare I'm sure that is full of love.

Tang ina! Namula ako. Hindi ako sanay na tinitingnan nang ganito ni Roqueña. May kasama pang tipid na ngiti.

Sorry, pero kinikilig yata ako! Haha!

Kilig na napalitan nang pagtalon ng puso ko dahil paunti-unting lumapit ang mukha n'ya sa akin.

And when her lips gently touched mine, I couldn't help but close my eyes. In fact, di agad ako nakapag-react.

She just initiated the kiss between us, for fuck's sake!

Sure bet, she doesn't know how to kiss. Para lang s'yang humalik sa pisngi ng bata.

But that was just quick and gentle kiss. That big vein between my legs just suddenly flickered. Luckily, she withdrew immediately bago ko pa s'ya mahawakan sa mukha para palalimin ang halik na yun.

"Salamat, Mike... mahal kita," mahina n'yang sabi.

"Oh fuck!"

Nagulat si Kennie sa pagmumura ko.

Niyakap ko s'ya bigla.

"I'm sorry," natatawa kong sabi sa pagitan nang pagsinghot. "It was only an expression. I was just so happy that you finally said that in front of me."

I buried my face in her neck inhaling her feminine scent for a few seconds before, "Let's eat."

Niyaya ko na s'yang kumain dahil baka kung ano pa ang magawa ko ganyang kaming dalawa lang dito sa kuwarto.

No, I'm not a saint.

Sa maraming pagkakataon, sobra-sobrang pagpipigil na ang ginagawa ko. I wanted to do 'it' with her after our wedding.

My sweet Kennie deserves it. Though I'm not the religious type, I respect her values. And I enjoy the feeling of waiting for that moment. Yung matinding pagko-control kahit madalas, ang sakit sa puson.

We ate in silence. Though I'm glad she did, I was a little worried. Halatang pinipilit n'ya lang kumain para kumain din ako.

"Wash up, sweet. Let's go somewhere to star-gaze tonight," bilin ko bago lumabas sa kuwarto n'ya para ibaba ang pinagkainan namin.

Nasalubong ko sina Mommy na papaakyat naman sa hagdan.

"How was she?" Dad asked.

"We ate together. Uhm, we'll stroll out this evening. Madaling-araw na kami uuwi," ang paalam ko.

"Sure. Take her out to relax," tinapik ako ni Daddy sa balikat. "Ako na bahala sa Mommy mo, ganyang solo namin ang bahay. Ouch!"

Kinurot s'ya ni Mommy.

Nangingiti ako pababa sa kusina. I wish Kennie and I will grow old together like my parents.

I drove us to Big Handy's Ground in Tanay, Rizal. It's somewhat a public area. I want Kennie to see people doing the same thing as we do. It'll help lessen loneliness ... seeing people than sulking in a room.

Since I used our Ford pick up truck, sa likod nu'n ko nilatag ang manipis na foldable foam, instead of pitching a tent. I just brought three big throw pillows then we bought food sa nadaanang convenience store.

Doon kami nahiga habang nanonood ng mga bituin at kung susuwertehin, to see some shooting stars.

And lucky enough, I saw one.

"Make a wish, sweet," bulong ko habang nakaunan s'ya sa dibdib ko.

I felt her sigh.

"S-si Gelo...s'ya ang hiling ko," she whispered as if she was telling it to no one in particular.

Bumigat ang puso ko uli. She hasn't forgotten, kahit sandali lang.

I caressed her head, "It will happen, Kennie. We will get him back."

Naramdaman ko ang pagtingala n'ya sa akin kaya tiningnan ko s'ya. She was smiling at me, full of trust and hope.

"Ikaw, Mike... ano ang wish mo?"

"Ikaw."

"Nasabi ko na, di ba?"

"No. I mean, ikaw ang hiling ko. You and a family we will share together."

Humigpit ang yakap n'ya sa bewang ko matapos nahihiyang sumiksik sa leeg ko.

I chuckled.

"Sweet, how many kids do you want us to have?"

Natensyon ang katawan n'ya.

Gusto ko na namang matawa at the same time ay mag-alala.

"Why? don't you want to have kids, Kennie?"

"Uhm... s'yempre... ano, gusto."

"So why get tensed?"

"Uhm... kasi... ahm..."

"Are you worried about how we are going to make them?"

"Kasi naman eh!"

Natawa na talaga ako sa bigla n'yang pagmamaktol. May kasama pang kurot sa tagiliran ko.

She has no idea how great it feels to make babies! Haha!

Well, I mean. I haven't gotten me a baby. What I mean is, having intimacy with random women is not new to me. Sex is fun.

But how much more making love with someone you wish to grow old with, right?

Damn! I can't wait!

Kinabig ko si Kennie lalo sa akin at hinalikan sa ulo. Then I inhaled and exhaled slowly.

Calm down, Mikey boy!

Bulong ko sa sarili dahil nag-iinit ang pakiramdam ko, iniisip palang yun. Yung first night namin!

Tiis-tiis lang tutal ilang beses na akong naka-kota noong di ko pa nakikilala ang babaeng kayakap ko ngayon.

It will be worth it, and I will make sure to make the most out of it!

Napapangisi na naman tuloy ako.

We enjoyed the rest of the evening eating snacks and drinking from canned juice we bought. Then continued watching the sky. Nakaidilip na nga kami pareho. Nagising kaming magkayakap pa rin nang isa-isa na ring mag-alisan ang mga may dalang sasakyan doon.

The following days, medyo sumisigla na uli si Kennie.

"Ang ganda nung napiling wedding gown ni Kennie, Kuya," sabi ni Michelle pagkagaling nila sa first fitting.

Hindi ako sumama. My sweet said she wanted it a surprise. I don't even know what design she chose. But it doesn't matter. Kahit naka-pajama lang kami pareho sa kasal namin. Ag importante, ikakasal kami. Na papalitan ko na ang apelyido n'ya. Magiging akin na si Roqueña.

"Simple lang pero bagay na bagay sa kanya," dugtong pa ng kapatid ko.

Kennie just smiled as we continue to eat dinner with my family.

Monday came, I didn't report to MonKhAr. We attended Emma's birthday at the orphanage were Madel grew up.

Importante kay Aris ang araw na yun dahil yun ang unang pagkakataon na makasama ang anak na magselebra ng kaarawan nito.

That day, Kennie's eyes sparkled once more. Though the foundation where the party was held is ran by people rich people and not by any religious institution, my sweet little Kennie was awed by the activities happening around us.

Children, free food, gift giving to the children of the orphanage, the officials thanking Aris' family and the visitors for choosing to hold the birthday party there which was enjoyed by both the celebrant and the beneficiaries of the foundation.

I saw Kennie's dreams to become a nun resurfaced.

I shoved the guilt feeling na parang inagaw ko s'ya sa Diyos. She made her choice. It's me she chose. At patawarin ako ng langit. I will make sure that it will be kept that way.

I don't know, but there was something negative I felt in my gut about the thought.

Damn! Kung hindi ako tinanggap ni Kennie at ituloy na lang ang pagmamadre, gagawa ako ng paraan para agawin s'ya sa simbahan!

We had a great time celebrating Christmas with my family. Sinama ko pa si Kennie sa pagdalaw sa mga inaanak ko para magbigay ng regalo. I did that to formally introduced her outside the close circle of my friendship with my college best buddies.

We were supposed to personally hand the invitation cards sa mga pupuntahan namin. Iilan lang naman dahil karamihan sa kanila ay nasa bakasyon.

I was surprised when I asked Kennie about the invitation cards.

"S-sorry, Mike. N-naiwala ko ang mga invitation," nakayuko n'yang sabi nang katukin ko s'ya sa kuwarto n'ya.

Sabay kaming bababa para umalis na. Wala sina Mommy at Daddy.

"Kailan pa?"

"Uhm..." nagsimula s'yang maging alumpihit. "Noong a-araw na kunin ko mismo."

I remember that. It was two days after Christmas. Hindi ko s'ya nasamahan na pumunta sa office ni KC dahil kinailangan ako sa isang project sa Iloilo and had to stay there for two days and a night. Aris was in Disneyland with his family. And KC's team were all tied up with holiday events so picking the invitations up was the fastest way to do it.

We couldn't wait to get those dahil medyo short noticed ang kasal namin.

I thought she was just nervous that I'd get mad. Her hands were a bit shaking.

"Hey," pinisil ko s'ya sa balikat. "Hindi ako galit. Ang akin lang sinabi mo sana agad sa akin. Saan mo naiwala?"

"Uhm.. sa CR sa ospital."

"Nagpunta ka sa ospital? Bakit?"

Tumango s'ya nang nakayuko.

"D-di ba, tumawag ako nung nasa Iloilo ka. Na uhm... aalis ako sandali. Nagpa-check up ako kasi...kasi nga yung hika ko. Ano, bago tayo magpakasal kasi... ano... ikaw kasi eh."

Akala ko ay hindi n'ya seseryosohin ang mga biro na totoo naman sa loob ko.

I was teasing her that she needed to bring a lot of Ventolin during our honeymoon. Palaging pagmamaktol at kurot ang inaabot ko sa kanya.

Napangiti ako. In fact, I was very happy.

She is already preparing herself physically and mentally on that day that we will be one.

Naglaho lahat ang negatibong nararamdaman ko.

I hugged her. "It's alright. Nasabi mo na bakay KC na kailangang magpa-reprint?"

Tumango lang s'ya, kagat-labi pa rin.

I gave her a peck on the lips.

"Stop doing that, sweet. Lalo akong naaakit sa 'yo."

She just smiled. Maybe I was overwhelmed with what she said that I just brushed off that expression on her face.

I thought she was just nervous then relieved I wasn't mad, and maybe embarrassed that I learned about her little secret.

"Uhm, Mike?"

"Oh?"

"Huwag mo na tanungin o pagalitan yung driver ha?"

I let go of our bodyguards. The threat from the Garcias and Abellanas were just between them. I asked Rob to assign Gerry and Edmund na palitan sa palihim na magbabantay kay Gelo sa Hawaii, until such time we get our boy back.

"Why not?" tumaas ang kilay ko.

"Uhm, ano kasi. Nangako ako sa kanya na hindi mo s'ya uhm, ano. Sabi ko kasi huwag n'ya ipagsasabi kasi ano nga, sikreto ko lang sana."

Natawa na ako. "Ano'ng sabi ng doktor? Okay lang daw ba kung makailang rounds tayo kada gabi?"

"Rounds ng ano?"

Natatawa na naman tuloy ako, "Wala, wala. Basta."

Nagbilin ako sa mayordoma at security guards sa bahay bago kami umalis. Kami lang ni Kennie ang naiwan sa bahay. Michelle and my parents left to visit my brothers and their families on Christmas morning. But they spent a special dinner with us at home and had exchange gift on Christmas Eve.

Di na kami sumama ni Kennie. I already called my brothers that we will just see each other on our wedding day. They understood since we are still busy with our wedding prep, and I wanted to spend more time with Kennie alone. Mag-out of town sana kami which was also a way to help both of us shake off the feeling of missing Gelo. Hindi na lang natuloy dahil nga nagkaroon ng emergency sa project sa Iloilo.

"Let's go," I offered my hand which she took as I parked in front of the house of our first stop.

We dropped by at Erol's house. Hindi sila nag-out of town ng pamilya dahil tatlong buwan pa lang mula nang manganak si Sarah via C-section. Ayaw pa nito magbyahe.

Binigay ko kay Eric ang regalo ko. As usual, automatic na ninong at ninang kami sa mga anak-anak ng bawat isa.

Kennie gave her gift to the family as well.

"Pasens'ya na. Hindi ako nakarating sa binyag ng bunso n'yo," hingi n'ya ng paumanhin kay Sarah.

"It's alright. Busy ka that time sa thesis mo, sabi ni Mike. Nakarating naman 'yang fiancé mo at si Ge--" di naituloy ni Sarah ang sasabihin.

Nasabi ko na sa kanila na lalong naging sensitibo si Kennie ngayong malayo sa amin ang bata. Tumikhim na lang ito.

Sinaloa gad ni Erol ang usapan para hindi makahalata si Kennie, "Sobrang workaholic nitong si Mike mula nang madestino sa Bataan. Di nga 'yan nakapag-celebrate ng birthday nung September dahil nasa Bataan. Kaya dapat bumawi kayo sa amin sa kasal n'yo."

"Sure, sure!" natatawa kong sabi.

Pag-alis namin kina Erol,Kennie asked, "Kelan ka nag-birthday?"

Gusto kong matawa. Ikakasal na kami at lahat, marami pa s'yang hindi alam sa kain.

I told her the date.

"Bakit di mo sinabi sa akin?"

"It slipped my mind. I was occupied with a lot of things to do."

"Hindi ka man lang nakapag-celebrate," tila nagi-guilty n'yang sabi.

"I was with you then, so it was a perfect birthday for me, sweet. Isa pa, I don't want to disturb you with such trivial stuff like a birthday party when you're busy with your thesis. Anyway, I'm too old for that."

Di ko na lang binanggit na naghanda naman si Mommy nang espesyal na hapunan sa bahay a few days pagbalik ko sa Maynila after that. It was a time na kasama pa namin sa bahay si Gelo. I just made the boy promise not to tell his mom.

"Di ka ba nagseselebra ng birthday?"

"Well, I'd normally go on boy's night out with Aris and Jeff. But that was before I met you."

Wala ang inaasahan kong pag-irap o pagnguso n'ya. Gusto kong magtaka. Nakakagawian na ni Kennie ang ganun kapag binibiro ko o kaya kinikilig sa sinasabi ko.

Our last stop was at Rika's.

Ulila na ang babae so I thought of calling her earlier at maglambing na pakainin kami doon ni Kennie ng hapunan.

Napakunot-noo ako nang papasok sa villlage gate nina Rika. Nakita ko ang isang pamilyar na sasakyan. Di ko una maalala kung kanino hanggang huminto ito sa gate guard at buksan ang car window.

Si Wilma, ibinalik ang tag card n'ya pra makuha pabalik ang lisensya.

Baka may binisitang kakilala rito.

After we handed our gift to Rika, she gave us hers,"Ayan, gamitin n'yo sa isa sa pre-nup photoshoot n'yo. Pero kailangan, pupunta pa rin kayo rito para sa birthday ko, ha."

"Of course. Two days lang naman yun."

Our pre-nup photoshoot will be on the first week of January, and Rika's birthday would be within that week, too.

We went home after enjoying that Japanese cuisine my friend prepared for us.

Natatawa ako nang buksan sa bahay ang regalo ni Rika.

It's a couple Japanese Kimono with accessories.

"Hihiram ako kay Juno ng katana," nangingiti kong sabi. "May dalawang Japanese sword yun."

Wala sa loob na napatingin ako kay Kennie. Napakunot-noo ako.

"Sweet, is there something wrong? Are you not feeling fine?" tanong ko habang sinalat ang leeg n'ya.

Normal naman ang init n'ya. Kaya lang, kanina ko pa napapansin na parang may kakaiba sa kanya.

Gaya ngayon.

I was expecting that she'd be excited about the gift. I believe this is the first time she saw and get to own something like this.

I don't want to think she's having cold feet now because she even went to the doctor for a check-up, right?

"P-pagod lang ako, Mike," malumanay n'yang sabi. "Ang dami nating pinuntahan ngayon. Pahinga na tayo, okay lang ba?"

The bad feeling that is starting to eat me up vanished because she accepted my offer to give her a head massage after she showered.

I think she's just really tired. Mabilis itong nakatulog as I massage her head while humming a soft song. Kennie even snuggled to me when I decided to sleep beside her in her room.

I don't know. I just felt like I want to be beside her. Palagi man kaming magkasama the past weeks, I always miss her. Reason that I always long to go home after work. Yung kinaiinipan ko ang oras ng trabaho. It's just that I have to earn money for the family I want to build with her.

But tonight is really unexplainable for me. I miss her a lot kahit maghapon kaming magkasama.

Tang ina! Di ba pwedeng bukas na ang kasal namin?!

But damn! It's not the honeymoon that I'm looking forward to now. It's something else but I can't point out what it is.

Bago ako lamunin ng antok, hinapit ko uli si Kennie sa akin.

Bukas, tatawag ko sa Agoncillo Agency. Magpapa-assign uli ako ng driver-bodyguard para kay Kennie.

I told her about it during breakfast. I saw hesitation on her face.

"Magkasama naman tayo palagi, Mike."

"How about when I'm at work, sweet?"

"Narito naman ang mommy mo."

"She also goes out every now and then. Also, I want us to settle in Bataan. You love your hometown. Naroon din ang business na bigay ni Mommy para sa atin. Actually, I will entrust its managing to you. I have MonKhAr. You need –"

"S-si Kuya Gerry lang ang gusto ko o kaya si Kuya Edmund, Mike."

I sighed, "You know they aren't available now, sweet."

"Uhm... si ano, yung dating pinalitan ni Kuya Edmund. Si Kuya Chito o kaya yung dating bantay ni G-gelo?"

"Si Orlan?"

Tumango s'ya. It was a greenlight. Pumapayag na s'ya.

I smiled, "Okay, I'll ask Rob."

When I inquired,

"Chito's not available. Naka-leave si Orlan, Mike. After New Year ang balik n'ya. Makakahintay ba kayo? How about a temporary bodyguard for three days?"

"No, it's okay. Makakapaghintay naman kami. It's not really urgent."

"Then why get one? May problema ba?"

Lakas talaga ng radar ng asawa ni Juno. Bagay talaga sa linya ng propesyon n'ya.

"Nothing. I just want to make sure we'll make it to our wedding day."

Humalakhak ito. "You think she's having the jitters? Ganyan talaga kapag babaero. Takot sa sariling multo."

"Ulul mo, Agoncillo! Kennie's loyal and she loves me!" naasar agad ako.

Tinawanan lang ako lalo.

I told Kennie about Orlan. She was fine with it, too.

Nagpaalam ako sa kanya na kailangan kong pumasok ngayon sa trabaho. Today's the last day of work for this year.

There are projects that needs ironing with plans so we can close the year good, and start the next year smooth.

It was around four in the afternoon that I got a call from our driver.

I found it odd. Ang mayordoma namin ang tumatawag kapag may problema sa bahay.

"S-sir..." halata ang takot sa boses nito.

Nag-alala ako bigla.

Baka nakaaksidente or something. Minsan ay may mga kailangang bilhin sa bahay para sa kusina.

"May problema ba?" agad kong tanong.

"Si... si Ma'm Kennie po..."

Nanlaki agad ang ulo ko.

Ang bilis ng mga senaryong tumakbo sa utak. Hinika ba at kailangang itakbo sa ospital?

"Ano'ng nangyari?!" tumaas agad ang boses ko.

"Nawawala po si Ma'm?"

Nakahinga ako nang maluwag.

"Baka lumabas lang at naglakad papunta sa mini-park ng village."

"S-sir... wala po kami sa bahay."

"Ano?! Eh nasaan kayo?!" halos pasigaw na yun.

Agad kong dinampot ang susi ng kotse ko.

"Ano po... bibili lang daw s'ya ng gamot sa Mercury..."

Nalito ako. Kabibili lang namin ng stocks n'ya ng Ventolin pagkagaling kina Rika.

"...nag-CR s'ya sa katabing Jollibee. L-lampas isang oras na po akong naghihintay sa kotse, Sir. Kaya pumasok na ako para hanapin s'ya sa loob. W-wala s'ya dun."

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