LISTEN TO NOT OVER YOU BY GAVIN DEGRAW WHILST READING

Tears fell endlessly from Joey's eyes. He laid in the fetal position on his bed, his sheets in a bundle in between his legs. His comforter was in a bundle at the end of his bed.

Every hour or so there would be cascades of knocks on his door followed by the voices of his worried roommates telling him to come out and eat. Since the wedding all he has eaten was a couple crackers that were slid under his door by Megan, a chocolate bar from David and a water he went to get himself when everyone else was asleep.

He was so upset he didn't even care about how he shouldn't be eating it. His mind barely even thought about thinking about the gym, let alone going anywhere other than his room.

All he thought about was Shane. He was his best man for his wedding, in which Joey lost him. This left Joey extremely confused about what happened. One minute they were all lovey together, and the next they weren't. They just slowly spread apart, and Joey hated every second. And still after a two years, he still couldn't believe this happened.

The second he thought about when they filmed the Shoey anniversary videos he started balling salty tears again. The way they talked about how they met without actually telling the whole story. What actually happened after the Shoey kiss.

How instead of actually watching a movie after filming stuff, they ended up kissing. How Joey begged Shane to go out on a date with him, just one date. He just wanted to be with Shane so much, and no matter how many times Shane told him the same thing, there was something in his voice that told him differently.

~Flashback~

"Shane? Wh-what do you mean," Joey asked, running his hand through his hair. Shane finally looked up from his hands in his lap and sighed, staring into Joey's eyes.

"Joey, I am sorry. I can't do this anymore," he sighed, running his hand through his long hair.

"Wh-what do you mean," Joey asked, although he knew EXACTLY what he meant. He knew it was leading up to this, as Shane got more and more distanced from him. Dates were rare, when they hung out or filmed Joey would get less secret kisses. Joey felt tears welling in his eyes and he looked away from Shane.

"Joey... I, I can't lie to you anymore. I l-l-love you... but it would've never worked," Shane said quietly and calmly towards Joey, who's main concern was to stop crying.

He should've seen it sooner. Shane never loved him. "You never loved me, did you," Joey whimpered.

"Why would you say that," Shane asked, standing up to put his hand on Joey's shoulder.

Joey tore it away immeadiatly and stared into Shane's eyes. Shane almost gasped at what he saw. Tears streamed down Joey's face. "Because I know it is true. It was just lust or something like that... I wished you would've told me sooner," Joey concluded, staring back at Shane for reasurrance.

"M-maybe I didn't? J-Joey I am sorry, it is just... Lisa," he finished off quietly, bracing himself for how Joey would react.

Joey's eyes widened. It made so much sense now... of course Shane liked Lisa. Joey sighed," Th-that's fine. M-maybe I didn't love you either... maybe I liked Cat or Brittany or Megan or," and he just babbled on and on to Shane's horror.

"Joey, we both know thats not true," Shane said, looking a bit hurt.

"Shane, why the hell do you even care! You love Lisa! Go be with her, and don't you dare look hurt... DON'T YOU DARE LOOK HURT WHEN YOU NEVER TRULY LOVED ME! FUCK YOU! YOU KNOW I... I... I HATE YOU," he screamed in Shane's face, just about terrifying him.

"Joey, c'mon you don't mean that," Shane whispered quietly.

"You are serious?! You have Lisa! I have, fuck I have nobody! JUST GET THE HELL OUT," he screamed, motioning towards the door.

Shane nodded quietly, and left. Joey could hear Shane say,"Bye Sawyer." Joey looked up just as Sawyer walked in, a confused look on his face.

"Joey what happened," he asked.  Joey shook his head, walking off to his room.

~End of Flashback~

That was the whole reason Joey moved out of Sawyer's apartment. The wifi was sucky, but the whole Shane thing was just another reason. (Please ignore that the time that these events happened don't match up. I am very aware.) Joey felt the tears on his face slowly dry up, as he sat up and stared around his room. Clothes were strewn carelessly all around. He smelled awful, he needed a shower. He needed to get over this.

~Flashback~

Joey smiled at Shane, who was sitting next to him up against a tree at the park. It was cold out today, so there weren't any kids on the play structure, or any parents to run by yelling at them for being Gay (or other bad things that I shall not type. If anybody ever says these things I will shoot them in the face.) or anything along those lines. Shane intertwined his fingers with Joey, as Joey leaned his head up against Shane's chest, listening to his heartbeat.

"I love you," Joey whispered, watching the red and orange leaves from the trees above them fall occasionaly to the floor.

"M-me too," Shane replied after awhile. Joey was completely oblivious to the nervous sound of Shane's voice, the way he stuttered, or the way he just completely avoided saying those words. Joey just smiled, in complete bliss.

~End of Flashback~

Joey leaned up against the tiles of his shower, the need to cry was intense, but he couldn't produce more tears. He just whimpered, thinking about everything Shane has ever done to him. All the good and bad. Their first kiss that surprised Joey, but still supplied to sparks that sparked the reason of loving Shane. Shane felt them too, or so he said, and Joey thought that he was scared of them. Maybe he wasn't ready to fall in love? But, why did he go and marry Lisa? Maybe he just wasn't ready to fall in love with him?

This was all just stupid. Joey needed to get over him. He got out of the shower and looked in the mirror. He looked pale from not being outside. He needed to shave, that is for sure. He took out his razor. He brang it up to his face to shave away the overgrown stubble, but stopped. He was suddenly mesmerized by the blade. What if he just ended it? No. No, he couldn't.

He practically threw the razor across the room and screamed. "NO! NO JOEY NO!" He leaned up agains the counter, breathing heavily. He wasn't going to do that just because of Shane. No. He was going to be a man, and get over him.

He nodded at his reflection, whispering to himself encouragingly. He is going to go back out there. His fans probably missed him. His friends missed him. His family. He was going to go back there, like a boomerrang. Throw him anyway they want, but he will just turn around again, back in the game, ready for whatever was thrown at him next. He smiled, he was fine. He was over it.

~~~

It has been a year. A year of Joey barely thinking about Shane, which was lies. That was his response to anybody asking him how he was doing, when in reality he thought about Shane a lot. Thinking about him never brang sadness, only a smile to his face. He was not going to let sad memories make him go into that awful lockdown mode. He was done letting Shane make him that way. He was over him.

Joey was in his room, going through instagram when his phone rang. He almost let a frown be brought to his face by the contact name, but he didn't. He pushed it down and smiled, picking up the phone and answering.

"Hello," Joey asked, pushing down the nervousness and everything he felt from Shane, including the feeling to throw up.

"Hey," Shane responded," We haven't collabed in forever! Can I come over? Maybe we could do a challenge or something."

"Y-yeah sure," Joey stuttered, pulling a smile on his face, despite Shane not being able to see it, which Joey was happy for because it probably looked very faked and forced.

"Cool... How are you doing," Shane asked, his voice suddenly sounding corncerned.

"I'm doing just fine," Joey replied, trying to control the shakiness of his voice.

"Th-that's good... Alright. I'll be over at two okay," Shane asked.

"Yeah. Sounds good. See you then, bye," Joey said, hanging up without waiting for Shane's reply. He buried his head deep into his knees, breathing heavily. No. He was over him.

Joey ran downstairs, luckily nobody was home. Megan was going to get her hair dyed or something, and David was out with his friends. He ran into the kitchen and grabbed a snack randomly from the snack box he received each month, and sat down to eat it. He would have to work out to burn off these calories later, but right now, he didn't care.

He was in deep thought about Shane. He was over him right? I mean, he hadn't seen him in ages, he will probably lose all feeling from seeing him again.

~2 hours later~

Joey stared at Shane, who stood outside on the front porch. "Hey," he said nervously, scratching his arm.

"H-hey," Joey stuttered, moving out of the way so Shane could come in. 

"Um, how are you," Shane asked again.

"Fine," Joey said, hearing the lie in his voice.

Shane sighed, a sad look appearing on his face. "Really Joey. How are you doing?"

"I am doing just fine. Haven't... haven't thought about that in a while.. really," Joey said nervously, looking around the room for some sort of escape from the situation.

"How about... how about we just film? Yeah," Shane asked. Joey nodded and smiled.

~~~

"Bye," Shane shouted over his shoulder, a smile on his face as he looked away. Joey smiled back, waving from his front door. The minute Shane was out of sight he closed the door, and the have-hearted smile disspeared.

Joey full on lied to Shane. He wasn't doing just Fine. He was always on his mind. No matter what, he would never be over Shane.

Megan came home just then, and seeing Joey immeadiatly turned her smile to a frown. "Joey? How did the collab with Shane go" Megan asked, setting a comforting hand on Joey's shoulder.

"F-Fine. I'm doing just fine. He is not on my mind," he stuttered, forcing a smile.

Megan looked up at him sadly, worry on her face. This was all Joey needed for him to break down again. "I am not over you," he whimpered, hugging Megan for comfort. 

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I got five votes on the first Shoey/Shisa one-shot, so here is the backstory. Okay, I am sorry guys it is just incredibly hard to write this because I don't ship Shoey... it is just... It is completely impossible. And I know most ships are impossible, but when you ship someone, you can see them together. If Shane and Joey got together, it would realistically never work out. 

I DEDICATE THIS TO THE LOVELY BEWILDEREDHERMIT! HER ONE SHOT BOOK IS AMAZING GO READ IT AND FOLLOW HER BECAUSE SHE DOESN'T HAVE ENOUGH FOLLOWERS OKAY BYEEEEE