The next week was one of the happiest weeks Patton had experienced in a long time. He felt alive.

And that feeling suddenly collapsed and disintegrated for absolutely no reason.

But he laid face down in bed while Logan sat cross legged next to him, humming a little, because it helped Patton relax.

"Logan?"

Logan looked up from his book and stopped humming. "Yes?"

"It hurts."

"What hurts?"

"Everything hurts."

"...okay, but what actually hurts? Are you in physical or emotional pain?"

"I don't even know."

"Well... What can I do to assist you?"

"I don't even know."

Logan laid down next to his boyfriend and let him cry onto his shirt. "I can make you some hot chocolate and bring you a photo album full of pictures of dogs if you want."

"Can I get some hot chocolate?"

He nodded and slowly moved away from Patton's body. When he came back with the cup, Patton was on the floor, staring at the ceiling.

"I feel like I'm dying," he said quietly.

Logan sat next to him and lifted him so he was sitting upright, and handed him his hot chocolate that also contained a few marshmallows.

Doritos were Virgil's shitty day food, and marshmallows were Patton's.

When Patton was staring into nothingness for about ten minutes, Logan asked, "What's on your mind?"

The response came slowly. "Do you know when, like, you're happy? But you're so used to not being happy? And then you're just like 'happy? What the hell is that?' and you don't let yourself feel happy because it feels completely new even though it's not but, like, it feels like it? And then the happiness dies down and you tell yourself, 'I wish I was happy'?"

"Oh wow, um, well... I'm not sure about how that feels. Emotions aren't my strong suit and what you just described is out of my knowledge. Maybe contact Virgil?"

Patton nodded and sent a text to Virgil.

Patton: hey you know how you're like happy but you're so not used to being happy bc you haven't been genuinely happy in a long time and it feels completely new so you push away the happiness and when the happiness leaves again you want to be happy again? But then the cycle of that just turns and turns?

Patton: do you know what I mean?

Virgey 💜🍝: dude i totally know what you mean

Virgey 💜🍝: but don't worry. it feels like shit but you've got logan. he might not understand emotions too well but he'll try to do just about anything to cheer you up.

Virgey 💜🍝: find what makes you happy.

Virgey 💜🍝: they don't have to be big things, like going out for hours in the sun or some extrovert outdoors person happy guy bullshit like that

Virgey 💜🍝: what are the small things that make you happy?

Patton: idk

Virgey 💜🍝: did logan make you hot chocolate?

Patton: yep

Virgey 💜🍝: how many marshmallows?

Patton: 7

Virgey 💜🍝: he's perfect for you

Virgey 💜🍝: what else do you want him to do to make you feel better?

Patton: idk... I don't want him to feel like he's my slave or something

Patton: if I ask him for something I feel like he'll be annoyed with me

Virgey 💜🍝: girrlllllllll

Virgey 💜🍝: if he gets annoyed because you're struggling and doing your best and reaching out for help and being really fucking brave he doesn't love you and you need to dump his ass

Virgey 💜🍝: but i know he loves you and he won't leave you just because you need emotional support

Patton: maybe

Virgey 💜🍝: roman didn't leave me every time he had to comfort me and go to the convenience store at 2 am for doritos

Patton: awwwwww

Virgey 💜🍝: ♥

Virgey 💜🍝: so there's nothing to worry about.

Patton: thanks 💞

Virgey 💜🍝: but if logan does anything to hurt you, tell me asap and i will fly my ass to canada to smack a bitch

Patton: 😂😂😂 that's what I did when you were upset with Roman

Virgey 💜🍝: yep

Virgey 💜🍝: anything for you

Patton: 💞

Virgey 💜🍝: and patt?

Patton: yea?

Virgey 💜🍝: what you're feeling is completely normal. it's not stupid or weird. and you shouldn't be afraid of getting help, especially from your boyfriend

Virgey 💜🍝: but i totally get it tho. depression is one of the shittiest things ever.

Virgey 💜🍝: but im so freaking proud of you

Patton: I love you 💞💞

Virgey 💜🍝: love ya too bud ♥♥♥

Virgey 💜🍝: remember to enjoy everything that the world blesses you with (god i sound like roman) or else you'll fall further down

Virgey 💜🍝: i care about you more than anybody else in the entire universe cares about you and i used to go through the same thing. you'll make it

Patton: thank you 💜

Virgey 💜🍝: it's no big deal

Virgey 💜🍝: is logan with you rn?

Patton: yeah

Virgey 💜🍝: tell him what's on your mind. he'll be happy to help you (but if he isn't give me your address and i will be there asap)

Patton: alriiiight 😄😄 ttyl

Virgey 💜🍝: ttyl ♥

Patton sat in Logan's lap and played with Logan's hair.

"Lo?"

"Yes?"

"Can you sing for me?"

Logan hesitated. "Of course. Which song?"

"Any song."

He pondered for a while before he settled on a song he knew Patton liked.

"I don't need you to sell me on reasons to want you.
I don't need you to search for the proof that I should.
You don't have to convince me,
You don't have to be scared you're not enough,
'Cause what we've got going is good.

I don't need more reminders of all that's been broken,
I don't need you to fix what I'd rather forget,
Clear the slate and start over,
Try to quiet the noises in your head,
We can't compete with all that...

So what if it's us?
What if it's us,
And only us,
And what came before won't count anymore or matter?
Can we try that?

What if it's you,
And what if it's me,
And what if that's all that we need it to be?
And the rest of the world falls away?
What do you say?

I never thought there'd be someone like you who would want me,
So I give you ten thousand reasons to not let me go...
But if you really see me,
If you like me for me and nothing else,
Well, that's all that I've wanted for longer that you could possibly know.

So it can be us,
It can be us,
And only us,
And what came before won't count anymore or matter,
We can try that.

It's not so impossible,
Nobody else but the two of us here,
'Cause you're saying it's possible,

We can just watch the whole world disappear
'Til you're the only one
I still know how to see,
It's just you and me,
It'll be us, It'll be us
And only us
And what came before won't count anymore,

We can try that,
You and me,
That's all that we need it to be,
And the rest of the world falls away,
And the rest of the world falls away,

The world falls away,
The world falls away,
And it's only us..."

Patton looked like he was going to lose it. He cupped Logan's face in his hands and kissed him as soon as he was done.

Logan cradled his boyfriend, who was crying of happiness, in his arms.

Patton asked, "What did I ever do to deserve you?"

"Would you like me to write a 40 page essay of reasons why?"

They sat, gazing into the other's eyes, the two were completely infatuated with one another.

(a/n: haha biTches i tricked y'all into thinking this chapter was going to be horriBLe)