A few moments passed after the knife had finally tumbled out from Patton's grasp where both just stood, staring. Both of them wanted to say something, but couldn't find the right words or even the will to speak at all.

It wasn't until Patton began to cry that time seemed to unfreeze.

His shoulders shook, and he slowly brought his hands into his own sight, staring at the few drops of blood that had gotten on them. He let his hands fall to his sides again as he cried, standing still, in front of his husband. Both were feeling way too many emotions at once.

"Patton... hey, come here. Look, I know you're scared, but we're gonna-"

"N-No, god- don't- don't touch me!"

Logan had stepped forward and tried to wrap his arms around Patton but Patton stepped back, looking away. Logan froze and a horrified expression came over his face. He was completely silent.

"You- you don't- I don't deserve you, Logan! I'm so stupid! I've done- I- I don't deserve you, and I never did! You're too good for me!"

Logan let out a sigh of relief for a split second before frowning, and taking a step closer. Patton stepped back, again, eyes wide and looking all over the place.

"Patton, I need you to try and focus, alright? I know that you're probably feeling a lot right now, but I need you to take a deep breath, okay? Can you come closer?"

"Logan, what don't you get?! Don't you see what I've done?!"

"I know. I know, Patton. I can see, but please just know that I still love-"

"Logan!"

Logan was silent as Patton practically screamed his name to get him to stop talking.

"I... Logan... don't you get it? I... I killed him."

Logan blinked a few times. "That is true, but-"

"Matt."

"...What?"

"Christopher, Bill, Richard, Sean, Allen, Jacob, Chase, S-Stephen, a-and now Remy?!" Patton was sobbing as he finally came completely clean to his husband. "Do you get it now? Ten. God- that's- thats ten. I'm a psychopath. I'm a psychopath, Logan, you have to stay away from me!"

Logan was completely silent, and his face had practically been wiped of emotion. His eyes were wide, but they looked... strange. Empty. He blinked a few times, his husband still sobbing in front of him, as he processed it all.

Slowly, emotion did begin to form in Logan's eyes. He was worried... but also scared. Of what? Patton couldn't tell.

"Oh... oh, Patton-"

Logan sprang forward and wrapped his arms tightly around his husband's torso. Patton cried out and screamed and immediately tried to push him away, scrunching up shoulders and squirming.

"N-No, Logan! You're gonna- I don't want you to- I'm horrible, you're so good, you can't-"

Slowly, Patton's stuttering was overcome by his sobs, and as Logan just hugged him tighter and tighter, a few tears slipping down his own cheeks, Patton's only option was to hug him back. So, he did, sobbing his heart out into his shoulder and digging his nails into his back. Logan was silent and still, though the feeling of his husband's nails in his back was slightly uncomfortable. That didn't matter right now.

After a few minutes of just standing and holding each other, Patton began to pull away. Logan still held him, forcing him not to pull away completely along with making eye contact. Patton just cried, staring up at Logan.

"I-I'm sorry..." he apologized very guiltily, hiccuping. Logan's face fell, and he rubbed his back comfortingly.

"Hey, I know, it's okay, it's okay." Logan assured, very softly. "I want you to take a deep breath for me, okay?"

"I'm- I'm so sorry, Logan, I-I've ruined everything, I just... I-"

"Just take a breath, alright?"

"He- he was after you. I had to protect you. I just wanted to keep you safe, I didn't want Remy to hurt you, I didn't want you to die, all of those people were gonna give I'm information on you, I swear. I didn't know he was actually after me. He was gonna kill you, I swear- I swear he was. That's what it had to be. I swear, it had to be. It had to be. It- I-"

"I know, I know. Please just try to calm down."

Patton was having a hard time doing that. He could barely hear Logan anyway, there was still a bit of rain drizzling around them, not to mention the fact that his ear was still buzzing very loudly. Patton tried to take breaths, but they came out in heaves, and he just ended up sobbing more. Logan sighed and pulled him forward again, cradling his head. Both were still.

Logan breathed deeply as his shirt slowly began to dampen from his husband's tears. Patton began to try and match his breathing to Logan's, and slowly, his loud sobs turned into only hiccups. The tears kept coming, though.

Patton pulled his head back again, and he took a shakey breath, staring up at Logan, who looked like he wanted to say something.

Patton was terrified.

"...Patton?"

"Y-Yes?"

"I feel like we should... have a talk, right now." Logan sighed, and Patton's eyes widened with fear.

"...O-Okay?"

"There's... there's something I need to tell you. There's something that I really should have told you a long time ago."

Patton sniffled, and reached up to his face, wiping it. "Wh-What?"

Logan stared down at him. He opened his mouth.

"I..."

He choked on his own words. Taking a shakey breath, Logan sighed deeply, bringing a hand up to his face and covering it.

"God, I... I don't know if I can- I can't do this. I don't think I have the strength to do this. I... Patton..."

Patton watched Logan's face be overcome by terror, which just scared Patton more. He gulped, breathing a shakey breath. What was he going to say? Did he not love him anymore? Did he want a divorce? What was going to happen..?

Logan blinked a few times. He took a long, deep breath, sighing it out.

"I... I know you think this is all your fault. But it isn't. You would have- Remy- none of this would have happened... if it weren't for me."

Patton blinked. "Wh... What do you mean?"

"The..." he sighed, "the truth is, Remy did deserve to be in jail for all those years he was there- he was a murderer. But... out of those five people that he was convicted of killing? I... He... he only killed one of them."

Patton stared blankly up, as his brain slowly processed the information he was being given.

Remy had mentioned getting "up close" with Johnny, so it must have been him. But... who could have killed the other four?

...

Wait.

"...No, wait. You don't... you..."

"Patton... I-I'm so sorry." Logan breathed out.

Oh.

...

Oh.

"Oh my god. I- oh my- oh my god."

Logan... Logan did it? Remy was right when he accused Logan of killing them? Oh- Patton was married to a murderer. Oh, god. Oh, god.

Logan was completely silent, just staring down as his husband started to cry again. Patton wasn't sure what to do- his mind was turning. Thinking. Panicking.

At first, he wanted to run. Run out of his murderer husband's arms, into the street, and into nothingness. Did he want to die? Maybe. That sounded like the best option, actually, in that very second. Everything was just wrong. It always had been, ever since high school. Nothing was right, and nothing ever would be right, because Patton was in love with a murderer.

And then his mind hung on that last bit- in love with a murderer. He still loved him, didn't he? But that was terrifying. Logan was terrifying. And Patton loved him. Why, though? He was a murderer. He had killed people before. Logan killed four people.

Four. Patton focused on that number- four. And he remembered how many people he had killed- ten. Patton had killed far more than his husband had. Oh. Oh god. Maybe they weren't so different. Is that why Patton loved him? Because they were really the same murderous psychopath, deep down. Or maybe was it because Patton was worse than him, and he had just found someone slightly better and immediately latched on?

...

No... Patton loved him because of what had happened in senior year. At first, he had blamed it all on Remy- he thought he had killed all the five, and was after Logan next. And, sure, maybe Remy had been out for Logan at some point- but Logan would have been able to defend himself. But because of those five that were killed, Patton had been so terrified of loosing Logan that the tiny little crush he had on him grew instantly. So they began to date, and then they got married, and when Patton started killing, he still blamed it all on Remy. Because Remy was the one who killed those five. The death of those five was the thing that made Patton into a murderer. Remy had caused his trauma, right?

No.

When you look at the facts, even though Patton had killed six more people than his husband had, the reason that Patton had killed at all was because of Logan.

So, really, at the end of the day?

Logan had caused Patton to murder for the sake of Logan.

...

And now... Patton wasn't really sure what to think.

Logan just stared at him, horrified and worried all at the same time. Patton sniffled, and then he groaned, and then he yelled into the sky.

"I- why do I still love you?!"

Patton closed his eyes as hot tears began to run down his face again. Logan looked heartbroken- he started to pull away from their embrace that they were still keeping through all of that, but Patton opened his eyes and he pulled him back in.

"No, no no no no- stay. Just stay. Tell me it's all a lie."

"...What?"

"It's a joke. None of this is real. We're- we're back in high school. I'm having a dream, a really bad dream, but I'll wake up tomorrow and Joe will text me and I'll be giddy and happy again. And then you can bring me flowers on my doorstep that Saturday and we'll date and then we'll get married and we'll have a normal life. And we'll adopt a kid, and our kid can play with Roman and Virgil's kid, and our kid can play with the kid Janus wanted to adopt- the kid that was the ring bearer at our wedding, and we'll be happy. Together, we'll be happy and we'll have a normal life, and there will be no murder. The name Remy will only make me think of the movie Ratatouille and not the man that I just killed in your sake. That's- all that's possible, right?"

"Patton, I-"

"You always make things better. So, tell me. Tell me it's possible. Tell me it is."

"Pat-"

"God, Logan, just make it all okay again!"

They stared at each other, Patton clinging onto his husband for dear life. They were both terrified, and at this point Patton's face wasn't the only one that was wet from tears.

Patton leaned forward and he kissed Logan- he couldn't even think. All he knew was that Logan was always the one to make him feel okay. Logan would fix everything, even though Logan was the cause of it all. Patton just had to say he wanted things to be different, to be normal, and they would be. Just like that.

But Logan pulled away.

Patton stared dejectedly at him- that was the first time Logan had ever willingly pulled away from a kiss. That made Patton feel broken.

Logan looked him up and down, and he sighed, his mind racing.

"Patton... I'm sorry, but... the past is the past. We can't change it. And... that's my fault. It's all my fault- I can't change what I've already done. Trust me, I would if I could. I would have done that a long time ago. All I want is for you to be happy. But... I screwed up. I tried to make you happy and all I did was ruin everything. Forever. I don't know if anything ever will be nor-"

"I- G-God, Logan, if you want to make me happy then please just kiss me right now so I can at least pretend it's normal."

Logan blinked a few times, quickly. "I... okay. Okay, fine." He breathed out.

And they kissed, in the arms of a murderer. In the arms of someone they had grown to trust over the 2 years they were friends, 7 years they were boyfriends, and 3 years they were husbands. In the arms of someone they thought they knew everything about, but with a few simple words had made all of that trust completely disappear. They kissed, wishing for that trust to magically re-appear, but knowing that it wouldn't. Not that easily. Nothing could ever be that simple.

When they finally pulled away, they were out of breath. Their chests were pressed together and they panted, staring at each other. Thick silence filled the air between them, and neither knew what was supposed to happen next.

Suddenly, Patton had been swept off the ground- Logan had picked him up bridal-style, and began to carry him over to their car. Patton stared at him, confused, as he was laid in the backseat and strapped in. Logan grabbed his bike and shoved it into the trunk and then got into the driver's seat, starting the car. Patton sniffled.

"Lo- wh- where are we going..?"

"We're going home."

"Why?"

"You're injured. Your ear is still bleeding and so is your shoulder. I have to patch you up and get the bullets out of you. I would take you to the hospital but the doctors will ask questions that shouldn't be answered, and we have more important places to be anyway. Once you're patched up we're writing a suicide note, and we're going to come back here and blame Remy's death on himself."

Patton blinked. "Oh... but... what about-"

"It is almost ten o'clock at night. When we're done with Remy we will go to sleep, and we will talk about all of the rest of it in the morning." He sounded stern.

"...Okay."

In the morning.

...Oh, god. What was going to happen to them in the morning?

•~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~•
This is actually the first chapter that has made me cry while I wrote it. So I'm really excited to see how much you guys suffer! :D

See ya in the next chapter!😭