"Patton?"

Patton sat up in bed as his husband opened the door to their bedroom. Logan peaked in, staring at Patton, who was sitting with his legs crossed in the middle of their bed.

"Honey, are you alright?" Logan asked.

It was currently three in the afternoon, and Patton hadn't left bed since he'd woken up. Logan had brought him up breakfast and lunch, understanding he was still a bit shaken up from Matt's sudden death... but it was highly uncharacteristic for Patton to stay in one spot for this long.

Patton smiled gently, nodding. "I'm okay, Lo. Just not really feeling like doing anything today."

In truth, Patton was still freaking out. But of course he was. Who in their right mind would be completely calm after killing someone? Actually, who in their right mind would even kill someone in the first place? Was Patton's mind even right in any way, shape, or form?

Logan sighed, nodding. "Alright, I understand. But you should leave our room at some point today."

Patton sighed back. He was silent, just staring at Logan with soft, sad eyes. Logan quickly slipped into the room and sat down next to his husband. He took Patton's hands in his.

"I know you're scared. I'm scared, too. But isolation won't solve anything, it will just make things worse."

Patton slowly nodded.

"I'm going to go on a quick walk around the neighborhood, okay? Would you like to join me? Perhaps get some fresh air and get your blood pumping?"

Patton thought for a moment before quickly shaking his head. "No thank you. I'm just gonna relax for today."

Yeah... for today. Sure. He definitely wasn't planning on doing this for the rest of his life.

Logan nodded and quickly pressed his lips to Patton's forehead before standing up off the bed.

"I'll be out on my walk then, okay? If you need anything, anything at all, please text me. I'll have my phone ringer on. I'll be back in about ten or so minutes."

"Okay."

Logan left the bedroom door cracked open as he started walking away from the room, but Patton got out of bed briefly just to close it fully. He stood in front of the door for a moment and re-opened it just so he could close it and hear the satisfying sound of it clicking shut. After that, hesat on the bed again and laid back as he heard the front door close from downstairs.

Patton didn't want to leave his bedroom. The world was a scary place.

He stared at the ceiling with his body sprawled out on the bed, and he eventually started to slip into his imagination, completely disassociating with everything around him.

•~~~~•

"Heya, kiddo!"

Patton kneeled on the ground as the front door opened, his seven-year-old kid running through the door and into Patton's arms. They hugged each other tightly, and Logan chuckled as he entered through the front door, too.

"Hi, daddy!" Patton's kid beamed.

"How was school?" Patton asked. Logan quickly closed the front door and walked over to the two of them.

"Awesome! I, uh... I drew you both something."

Patton raised his eyebrows and a smile slowly slipped onto his face. He looked up at his husband, who was gently smirking. Patton noticed that Logan had his hands behind his back- he was definitely holding something.

"Oh, wow, really? Well, let me see it!"

Logan brought his hands out and handed a piece of paper to Patton. The latter, who was still kneeling, quickly stood up and took the picture.

It was a picture of the three of them, all standing in a field underneath a very starry sky with a bunch of planets. Patton quickly gathered that it was the field he had brought his kid to with his husband many times. The sheer amount of stars and planets in the sky in the picture showed that Patton's kid was definitely learning something from Logan.

"Awwweee, this is so awesome, kiddo! I love it!"

"Really?"

"Of course! Hey, Pa, can we put his on the fridge?" Patton asked, referring to his husband in the way their kid referred to him.

"Of course." Logan answered, smiling.

Logan quickly picked their kid up off the ground, and the three of them walked into the kitchen. Patton grabbed one of the many magnets they had off their fridge and put the drawing underneath it. He made sure it was properly stuck to the fridge before turning to look at his husband and kid.

"Alright! What do ya say we eat a snack and watch some TV, then?"

"Yay!" Patton's kid kicked excitedly in Logan's arms, and Logan chuckled.

The three walked to the living room and sat down on the couch. Patton quickly turned on Nickelodeon. Once the three of them were situated, Patton grabbed Logan's hand and laid his head on his shoulder. Their kid, who was sitting on Logan's lap, leaned back and giggled.

Patton quickly checked that the kid was mesmerized by the TV before leaning up to his husband's ear.

"I love you, dear." He whispered, quickly pecking Logan's cheek. Logan smiled, sneaking a kiss onto his husband's forehead.

"I love y—

•~~~~•

"...Patton? Patton. Patton?"

Patton blinked and quickly made eye contact with Logan, who was staring at him with a confused expression from the end of the bed. Patton quickly sat up, becoming confused himself.

"Huh? What? What happened?"

"I... I just got back from my walk. I called up that I was home but you didn't respond so I came up here to find you sprawled out on the bed with your eyes wide open, just staring blankly at the ceiling."

"...Oh."

Both were suddenly feeling pretty confused. To Patton, it felt like Logan had been gone for only a few moments. When in reality Logan was out for nearly twenty.

"I was going to apologize for being out for so long, but it's clear you didn't even notice." Logan sat down on the edge of the bed.

"How long were you gone?"

"About eighteen minutes. I got caught up talking to some friendly strangers. Er... I have their numbers now, but that doesn't matter.

...Well, shit.

Patton blinked a few times again. "Oh."

"We're you just blanked out the entire time I was gone?"

"Yeah, uh... I don't know. I guess. But it felt like yo were only gone for, like, three seconds."

"Disassociation can have that effect. And it's clear that is what you were doing. I just don't really understand why."

Patton thought back to what he had been thinking. Right... a perfect life, with a perfect child. A perfect day.

"I, uh... don't know why either."

Logan was getting even more worried about his husband at this point. Disassociation was something that most people only do if they have some sort of... hold on, no, that can't be right, can it?

"Well... alright. How are you feeling now?"

Patton thought a bit more about what he had been imagining. He began comparing and contrasting that life and real life in his mind, and a frown slowly formed on his face. His life wasn't perfect... no, his life wasn't anywhere near that.

"...I'm feeling okay."

He wasn't. His life was a nightmare, that's what it was. He was having horrible thoughts every single day about wanting to do terrible things to any person who even breathed near his husband. Horrible thoughts that he thought he'd be able to avoid if he locked himself in his room. But clearly, Logan was right- Logan was always right- isolation wasn't the answer. Isolation was just going to make things worse. In fact, if Patton had went on that walk, maybe he would have been able to stop Logan from ever meeting those two strangers. Those two strangers that Patton knew nothing about, yet suddenly wanted ridden of this Earth forever, because they were so obviously involved with Remy in some way. Patton wanted to stay in his room for all eternity, but he couldn't. He had a husband to protect.

God, did Patton just want Remy gone. He just wanted him gone so Logan could be safe. They'd both be safe. Logan would be safe, and they could adopt that child, and bring that kid to that grassy field and Logan could teach that amazing child about the stars until the kid fell asleep in both of their arms.

And now that Patton had had a look into a life he didn't have, a life he wanted, he'd do just about anything to get it.

•~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~•
Patton's not okay (I promise)

See ya in the next chapter!💭