Chapter Four- Lucid Dreams

*Pandora's Pov*

I was sitting on top of a kitchen counter-top, John came up to me and placed his hands on my thighs and gently gripped them. "John what are you doing?" 

"Just relax darling." He spoke and took off his shirt and grabbed my cheeks and grabbed my face and pressed his lips to mine. 

He started taking my shirt off as I undid his belt, he started groaning as I saw a bulge coming out of his underwear. "Like what you see my love?" I nodded and then a moan following after.

Woah. Okay, wow. I never thought that would happen. I walked out into the main area of the ship and saw the others already out there. "Woah the Kamadeva got to Pandora good." Sara and Ava both acknowledge. 

Mona then proceeds to walk up to me and sniffs me. "I think Wolfy is giving me stronger scents of smell, and by the way you smell, you smell like cigarettes" Zari looks at me with wide eyes. 

"Okay, woah I did not sleep with Constantine!" I yelled as he walked into the room. 

"Am I really that bad, love?" He gave a hurt look. 

"Johny, no that's you know that's not what I meant." 

"I know my love, relax I'm just playing." He plays and gives me a wink.  

"Mick, Constantine and Pandora you guys feel free to stay here for this one, we've got it covered." Sara tells us. 

I wish I could tell you that I love you.

I wish you could understand how you make me feel.

The butterflies you give me. 

God, you're so perfect. 

"Love? You still in there?" John's voice snaps me out of my train of thought. 

"Yeah, yes sorry." I apologized. 

"Something on your mind love?" 

"No, I'm okay."

"When was the last time you ate something?" He asks.

"I ate yesterday, now please stop worrying about me" Oh how I wish you knew how much I regretted saying that. 

"Seriously? I care about you. I don't do that very often, you should almost consider yourself lucky." 

"You know what you're right I'm sorry, I'll go make something to eat then." I spoke remorsefully.

"Darling I'm always right."

"Take the win Johny." He just chuckles.

"Do you even know how to cook? Do you want me to make you something?"

"No I've got it thanks, you just go rest." He nods walking off.

I pull a pan out of the cabinet and put it on the stove, deciding I was going to make some grill cheese because, why not? 

After I had placed the the sandwich on the pan I stood there watching it starting to smoke underneath. 

"Uh oh" I mumbled to myself. 

The Gideon's voice started going off "Fire in the kitchen" repeatedly. 

"Love! Are you alright?" I heard Constantine's voice throughout the ship soon later he walked in and came to put the fire out. He kept laughing, and it was like the most pure thing I've ever heard. "Grilled cheese?" I nodded. "Here let me make it for you, I'll have to teach you how to cook sometime." 

"Yeah..I'm a terrible cook." I said sighing. 

Hours Later

"So Zari almost got married to the Kamadeva?" I spit out my drink and accidentally snorted. 

"Pandora!! Did you just snort?" Sara asks in between laughs. 

My stomach honestly hurt so much from laughing, everyone was on the ship just drinking and having a blast while we still could. 

"Are we actually going to play spin the bottle?" I questioned because Charlie had mentioned it and I thought the idea was absurd. 

"Why is somebody scared?" They raised eyebrows.

"I'm not no bitch." I responded. 

After a few turns, it was finally my turn to spin part of me was hoping to get John and other's weren't. 

I made my spin and it landed on Mick. 

"Does it have to be an actual kiss?" They all nodded their heads. 

I leaned in and carefully placed my lips onto Mick's and they moved in sync and he placed his arm around my waist and then that's when I was pulled by into my spot by John. 

"That's enough" he coughed. 

Soon enough the spin the bottle game turned in a truth or dare game. I was having fun but, I just didn't want actual secrets to come out. 

"Pandora, truth or dare?"

"Truth." 

"If you had to go out with anyone in this group , who would it be?" Nate asks.

I swallowed, he was going to find out this wasn't good. 

"Um, okay wow. Probably Constantine." 

"Oh she wants to date a weasel." 

"Shut up, you fucking pinhead." I snapped back. 

"Easy, love." 

God just love me already.

I wish I could tell you without embarrassing myself.  

"Alright guys I'm pretty beat, I think I'm gonna head to bed." I told the rest of the crew and they all nodded continuing their game. 

I walked into my quarters and just starred into the mirror, looking at the person I've become, by myself and without him. 

Ace, I loved him so much. Even if I somehow did figure a way to get him out of hell, I'm not sure that I'd want to. What's dead is dead, and there's no fixing that.

"He's dead because of you."

"You killed him."

"Shut up." I told that disgusting little voice in my head. 

That's when I started to hear screaming coming from Mick in the hangout room in the ship. 

"Well you know what I'm sorry I don't have bipolar depression that gets in the way of my work." 

"Sorry that I don't have to sleep with a 3 boobed fictional character!"

"At least I don't fear rejection and the girl I want to sleep with isn't a virgin!" They kept yelling at eachother back and fourth like this for the next few minutes before I came out of my room and put an end to it. 

"Mick, shut your idiotic mouth!" I yelled. 

"Oh look who it is." 

"You know he may have bipolar depression but, he has tons of tricks." I say with a smirk and pull out both of my hands and ignite them with magic and sent Mick back flying into a wall. 

*John's Pov*

Pandora sent Mick flying crashing hard into a wall, I actually found it pretty hysterical. He's getting his ass kicked by a girl. She turned to look back at me with an orange ring around her pupils. Then she continued smashing her fists into Mick's face. 

"Well this is entertaining" Says captain Sara. 

Then Mick picked Pandora up by her throat and that's when I intervened, I smashed my fists into his jaw knocking him out. There were marks on her throat from where Mick had her tight. 

"Love you didn't need to do that." 

"I needed to take my anger out on someone" she says and then pushes past me. "John is she okay?" Sara asks me. 

"Well in case you haven't noticed, she's been going through hell lately." I tell her walking off to find Pandora. 

After walking around the ship I see her sitting down by a window looking at the green that is the "sky" with her head tucked in between her legs. 

I can't give this girl what she wants.

She needs someone who'll never hurt her.

Someone that'll protect her from harms way. 

"You're strong love, no matter what you're going through you'll beat it." I told her as I walked up to her.

"You have PTSD from your dad and Astra, you also have bipolar depression. You try to hold yourself the best you can especially around the crew. I know you have problems with getting sick if your anxiety gets too bad. I try to be like you Constantine. I admire you. I fix others before myself, because I know no matter how hard I try, I'll never be completely fixed." She calmly says.

I'd withstand all of hell to hold your hand, just wish you knew that.

I sighed thinking of a response that would satisfy her. 

"Love, you don't want to be like me. I've always walked alone, until I met somebody, that was you. Bloody hell I'm cursed and you still want to be around me. If you don't see how mystical that is I don't know." 

"You always find a way to make everything okay, and that John Constantine is the thing I admire the most about you."